A soggy Sunday is always better than a sunny Monday. However, this Sunday was not starting out to be a good one. The morning was cooler than usual and she woke up shivering. Last night she had left the windows up to take advantage of the cool night and lower her ever increasing power bills. This morning she wished she had kept an extra blanket nearby.
Wind whipped the trees and the sound of continual rustling traveled thorough the house on the winds. The air smelled divine, even if it was chilly - fresh, clean, and hopeful. Spring was on the way.
She stepped out on the back patio to study a lawn in dire need of mowing and was struck by the intensity of green that filled the landscape. Only three weeks ago trees were bare and grass was brown. Today green leaves, green grass, and weeds were rampant. The mower was broken.
She wrapped both hands around her coffee cup and savored both the warmth and the aroma. Sometimes creature comforts were one's only solace. It was much too gloomy to spend a day on the patio in a soggy green cacoon. One last look, a whistle to the dog, and she closed the door. Her red study was much more comforting and inviting. There, she would try and shut out the world for just a bit longer.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Hollow People
Finally, a long week has ended and a new one begun. I don't want to live through another week as long as this one has been.
I find myself more tired than usual and more restless. I have a week off and tons of stuff to do. I have to make room for all of Mike's stuff. We have crammed 5 people into a space of about 1200 sq. feet. Closet space has become impossible. It was always bad but it is terrible now. No walk-in closets in this house, in fact, you can't hardly get in these closets. They have a door that opens and a rod that extends about 4 feet.... one in each bedroom. Two half size closets in the hallway, one is Jerry's and one has been used for winter coats. Now, Mike has to cram his clothes there.
I know I will get it worked out but not sure when. Dave and Becca have applied for public housing. That is the "projects" to you uninformed out there. No money means you don't live in the nice neighborhoods. He didn't really want to do it but even he can see that we are at a catastrophic point financially. My income will support me and Jerry just fine. It won't support 4 adults and a new baby.
Mike, of course, hopes he will be able to go home to his wife soon. I, and everyone who knew her here, seriously doubt that will be the case. This is not someone I wanted him to marry to start with but I put my objections aside for Mike and tried to make the best of it. We gave her a chance to prove herself to be what she claimed she was - someone who loved our son and cared for him. All she has done is prove that what we originally thought of her was true - a liar who was out to find a man foolish enough to get her pregnant. She was unattracive and our son was the only person she could find to accept her as she was - fat and a sloppy housekeeper. I hope she is completely out of our lives now. She has systematically destroyed everything he had when he met her, including his peace of mind. He has no place to live, no car, no money, and even if he had those things, all the furniture he had when he married her is gone and he has a judgement she caused when she broke their lease to move away. He can't buy a car until it is paid and he has no way to pay it. And he is suffering from severe depression and can't sleep or eat.
Am I being bitchy? Maybe so. I just believe in calling a spade a spade. We all have choices that we make regarding our lives and how we treat others. I despise liars and those who approach me under false pretenses. Invariably they think I am stupid. Equally invariably, I am not. I am seldom fooled. I wasn't fooled this time either. I suspended my belief to give the person a chance to show me what they were made of. Turns out they were hollow and I was right.
I find myself more tired than usual and more restless. I have a week off and tons of stuff to do. I have to make room for all of Mike's stuff. We have crammed 5 people into a space of about 1200 sq. feet. Closet space has become impossible. It was always bad but it is terrible now. No walk-in closets in this house, in fact, you can't hardly get in these closets. They have a door that opens and a rod that extends about 4 feet.... one in each bedroom. Two half size closets in the hallway, one is Jerry's and one has been used for winter coats. Now, Mike has to cram his clothes there.
I know I will get it worked out but not sure when. Dave and Becca have applied for public housing. That is the "projects" to you uninformed out there. No money means you don't live in the nice neighborhoods. He didn't really want to do it but even he can see that we are at a catastrophic point financially. My income will support me and Jerry just fine. It won't support 4 adults and a new baby.
Mike, of course, hopes he will be able to go home to his wife soon. I, and everyone who knew her here, seriously doubt that will be the case. This is not someone I wanted him to marry to start with but I put my objections aside for Mike and tried to make the best of it. We gave her a chance to prove herself to be what she claimed she was - someone who loved our son and cared for him. All she has done is prove that what we originally thought of her was true - a liar who was out to find a man foolish enough to get her pregnant. She was unattracive and our son was the only person she could find to accept her as she was - fat and a sloppy housekeeper. I hope she is completely out of our lives now. She has systematically destroyed everything he had when he met her, including his peace of mind. He has no place to live, no car, no money, and even if he had those things, all the furniture he had when he married her is gone and he has a judgement she caused when she broke their lease to move away. He can't buy a car until it is paid and he has no way to pay it. And he is suffering from severe depression and can't sleep or eat.
Am I being bitchy? Maybe so. I just believe in calling a spade a spade. We all have choices that we make regarding our lives and how we treat others. I despise liars and those who approach me under false pretenses. Invariably they think I am stupid. Equally invariably, I am not. I am seldom fooled. I wasn't fooled this time either. I suspended my belief to give the person a chance to show me what they were made of. Turns out they were hollow and I was right.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Friday Fantasies Foster Fervor For Fun
I am considering lobbying to make Friday the first day of the week. Now before you go saying that it is a crazy idea, think about it. It makes sense.
You get to Friday and you have two free days to look forward to. So, you begin Friday with a positive outlook, as opposed to the Monday morning blahs with its negative outlook toward a long, stress-filled week. On Friday you are thinking about what you will be doing that night and for the next two days. Those thoughts are usually pleasurable.
These positive thoughts often make the day much more pleasant and one often feels it is passing quickly as a result of positive feelings. Throughout the day one can be found contemplating lounging on the patio with a cold drink, warm sun bathing one's body, a good book abandoned on the nearby table but ready to hand should you decide to dive into its pages again. There may be music playing nearby as a gentle breeze wafts across your body. These thoughts alone can make the typical workday stresses evaporate in minutes.
Or perhaps you enjoy working in your yard or on your balcony garden, the warm earth evocking memories of childhood. The warm sun on your back, soothing tense muscles.
So, Friday as the first day of the week sounds like a great idea to me. You start the week with a great outlook. Besides, with Thursday eliminated, it makes for a very short work week!
You get to Friday and you have two free days to look forward to. So, you begin Friday with a positive outlook, as opposed to the Monday morning blahs with its negative outlook toward a long, stress-filled week. On Friday you are thinking about what you will be doing that night and for the next two days. Those thoughts are usually pleasurable.
These positive thoughts often make the day much more pleasant and one often feels it is passing quickly as a result of positive feelings. Throughout the day one can be found contemplating lounging on the patio with a cold drink, warm sun bathing one's body, a good book abandoned on the nearby table but ready to hand should you decide to dive into its pages again. There may be music playing nearby as a gentle breeze wafts across your body. These thoughts alone can make the typical workday stresses evaporate in minutes.
Or perhaps you enjoy working in your yard or on your balcony garden, the warm earth evocking memories of childhood. The warm sun on your back, soothing tense muscles.
So, Friday as the first day of the week sounds like a great idea to me. You start the week with a great outlook. Besides, with Thursday eliminated, it makes for a very short work week!
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Terminating Thursdays
Thursdays are really annoying. I think they should take Thursdays completely out of the calendar. It is the day before the last day of the week. You spend Wendsday thinking, "Oh, I am halfway there!"
But then Thursday gets in the way. Thursdays you wake up thinking I still have to get through two more days. No, I think Thursdays should be eliminated.
Really, what happens on Thursdays? Have any great events in history happened on Thursdays? Anything earth shattering? I truly doubt it. All the momentous things happen on Friday night.
That is so Saturday can be spent regretting it. By Monday you should be over it.
But then Thursday gets in the way. Thursdays you wake up thinking I still have to get through two more days. No, I think Thursdays should be eliminated.
Really, what happens on Thursdays? Have any great events in history happened on Thursdays? Anything earth shattering? I truly doubt it. All the momentous things happen on Friday night.
That is so Saturday can be spent regretting it. By Monday you should be over it.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Breath Taking
Close your eyes.
Relax.
Breathe.
Breathe in. 1..2..3..4..5
Breathe out. 1..2..3..4..5
Breathe.
Stretch.
Much better.
Now, where was I?
Relax.
Breathe.
Breathe in. 1..2..3..4..5
Breathe out. 1..2..3..4..5
Breathe.
Stretch.
Much better.
Now, where was I?
Monday, April 24, 2006
Smiling through Tears
It would be nice to write some extraordinary news here and say that life is totally grand. Today is not the day.
Mike flew home last Tuesday, supposedly to visit us for 2 weeks. His wife had insisted he come home to visit. He called his wife on Tuesday night and they had a nice chat, he telling her that he loved and missed her and she responding in kind. On Wednesday he called his wife again because he was missing her and wanted to tell her he was coming home early. He had been miserable all day. But this time no I love you sweetie. Instead, she told him on the phone he could not come back because she had filed for divorce.
It was the most awful experience I ever want to live through. We heard him scream when she told him. When I finanlly reached him he collapsed. He had no idea when he left that she had done this and had started it a month ago. She told him she had been thinking about it for a year. Mike has a couple of learning disabilities and he has a very hard time with changes of any kind. She knew all this when she married him. But he loves this girl very much. He has pleaded with her over and over to not do this.
We had to rent a truck on Friday and drive to Little Rock and get his things. He cried all the way there on Friday and he stood in his trailer and cried "Mom this is my home. I don't want to leave." All she was giving him was shoved in garage sacks and stacked. We got home last night at midnight. While we were there, we talked with her father, pastor of a UPC church in Bryant, Arkansas and he said she had come to him and begged him to buy a ticket and send Mike home but that he had no idea what was going on. They had put him on the plane with $5 and no way to call anyone should he get stranded in Chicago. I had given him my phone card # in case of an emergency and he needed to call. I had no idea he had no money. She had taken him to the airport and told him she was going to miss him and kissed him goodbye.
Unfortunately, none of us here are surprised at her behavior. The day I met her I told my husband she was trouble. We felt that when this girl first came here that she was not the right person for Mike. She has been very dishonest ever since we met her and last year when she moved them back to Arkansas we believed then that she was doing so in order to be at her home when she divorced him. Mike would not listen before he married her and afterward it was too late, we had to accept her and pray about the relationship. We tried very hard to make her welcome in our family but she had proved several times that we were right in our assessment of her. She was just very deceitful and not good to Mike.
Two weeks ago, when he told us she was encouraging him to come home alone for a visit, I told Jerry she was going to divorce him while he was gone. I just felt it so strongly. The whole family was concerned. I tried to think positive, saying that surely I was over-reacting and imagining things. I told several friends what I felt was about to happen. Today those friends looked at me and said, "You were right!"
We now have both boys at home and a pregnant daughter-in-law. Financially we are beyond our means. David is not getting enough hours at work and Jerry is not able to work. Mike's social security benefits that he was drawing when he left last year are in a mess because his wife was not doing the payee duties as she should and he had to appeal their being stopped. We are waiting for a hearing to determine whether or not he will even get them back. He has no job and has limited skills to obtain one.
Of course there are two sides to everything. MIke has told us there were problems for the last year. He made some mistakes and freely admits that but indicates she never indicated she didn't love him. I have explained that it takes two people to make a marriage and she went into this one with her eyes wide open, knowing the problems. She never made any attempts to obtain counseling for herself or for both of them. Her pastor father had talked with Mike several times but as far as I have been able to determine neither of them were encouraged to seek counseling.
They put a learning disabled person on a flight through Chicago, with an hour and a half layover and $5, no money in the bank, and no credit card. Anyone ever had a lay over turn into days? Could you make it on $5?
Some people come into your life to bless you. Some come to destroy you. I don't think we have to ponder this very long to know what she was here for. I am so thankful she is gone and that God has looked out for Michael during the situation. We have had several small miracles since this happend. Not financial so much as confirmation of some things we had prayed about. Sometimes just knowing who is in charge is all we need to lift our spirits.
Tonight Michael was laughing at his brother's jokes. He has such a wonderful smile.
Mike flew home last Tuesday, supposedly to visit us for 2 weeks. His wife had insisted he come home to visit. He called his wife on Tuesday night and they had a nice chat, he telling her that he loved and missed her and she responding in kind. On Wednesday he called his wife again because he was missing her and wanted to tell her he was coming home early. He had been miserable all day. But this time no I love you sweetie. Instead, she told him on the phone he could not come back because she had filed for divorce.
It was the most awful experience I ever want to live through. We heard him scream when she told him. When I finanlly reached him he collapsed. He had no idea when he left that she had done this and had started it a month ago. She told him she had been thinking about it for a year. Mike has a couple of learning disabilities and he has a very hard time with changes of any kind. She knew all this when she married him. But he loves this girl very much. He has pleaded with her over and over to not do this.
We had to rent a truck on Friday and drive to Little Rock and get his things. He cried all the way there on Friday and he stood in his trailer and cried "Mom this is my home. I don't want to leave." All she was giving him was shoved in garage sacks and stacked. We got home last night at midnight. While we were there, we talked with her father, pastor of a UPC church in Bryant, Arkansas and he said she had come to him and begged him to buy a ticket and send Mike home but that he had no idea what was going on. They had put him on the plane with $5 and no way to call anyone should he get stranded in Chicago. I had given him my phone card # in case of an emergency and he needed to call. I had no idea he had no money. She had taken him to the airport and told him she was going to miss him and kissed him goodbye.
Unfortunately, none of us here are surprised at her behavior. The day I met her I told my husband she was trouble. We felt that when this girl first came here that she was not the right person for Mike. She has been very dishonest ever since we met her and last year when she moved them back to Arkansas we believed then that she was doing so in order to be at her home when she divorced him. Mike would not listen before he married her and afterward it was too late, we had to accept her and pray about the relationship. We tried very hard to make her welcome in our family but she had proved several times that we were right in our assessment of her. She was just very deceitful and not good to Mike.
Two weeks ago, when he told us she was encouraging him to come home alone for a visit, I told Jerry she was going to divorce him while he was gone. I just felt it so strongly. The whole family was concerned. I tried to think positive, saying that surely I was over-reacting and imagining things. I told several friends what I felt was about to happen. Today those friends looked at me and said, "You were right!"
We now have both boys at home and a pregnant daughter-in-law. Financially we are beyond our means. David is not getting enough hours at work and Jerry is not able to work. Mike's social security benefits that he was drawing when he left last year are in a mess because his wife was not doing the payee duties as she should and he had to appeal their being stopped. We are waiting for a hearing to determine whether or not he will even get them back. He has no job and has limited skills to obtain one.
Of course there are two sides to everything. MIke has told us there were problems for the last year. He made some mistakes and freely admits that but indicates she never indicated she didn't love him. I have explained that it takes two people to make a marriage and she went into this one with her eyes wide open, knowing the problems. She never made any attempts to obtain counseling for herself or for both of them. Her pastor father had talked with Mike several times but as far as I have been able to determine neither of them were encouraged to seek counseling.
They put a learning disabled person on a flight through Chicago, with an hour and a half layover and $5, no money in the bank, and no credit card. Anyone ever had a lay over turn into days? Could you make it on $5?
Some people come into your life to bless you. Some come to destroy you. I don't think we have to ponder this very long to know what she was here for. I am so thankful she is gone and that God has looked out for Michael during the situation. We have had several small miracles since this happend. Not financial so much as confirmation of some things we had prayed about. Sometimes just knowing who is in charge is all we need to lift our spirits.
Tonight Michael was laughing at his brother's jokes. He has such a wonderful smile.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Dropping a Line
It is Wednesday and this week looks to be a swift one. I have a couple of dozen files to process by the end of the month, in addition to a move briefing this afternoon and a Landlord Orientation tomorrow afternoon. I hope the briefing is swift and the Landlords don't show up. I might actually get work done!
I took my doxepin last night and slept really well. This morning I am feeling better, less pain in my joints. I am finding that I don't want to deal with this much pain. I usually handle pain well and with little medication but this, this pain is unbearable. I would take Vioxx again in a second, heartattacks and stroke included. I had no pain on that medicine and felt wonderful. Death as an side effect of Vioxx? When I am in this much pain it is preferrable.
At any rate, today might be a fair day. Thank God for good days.
I am reading a good little book I found at a second-hand shop. I will probably talk about it soon. It is about time and how time is a gift from God to us, that together God and man weave time and how we do not view time in the correct way.
Gotta run now. Just wanted to take a quick break and drop a line and see what bites.
I took my doxepin last night and slept really well. This morning I am feeling better, less pain in my joints. I am finding that I don't want to deal with this much pain. I usually handle pain well and with little medication but this, this pain is unbearable. I would take Vioxx again in a second, heartattacks and stroke included. I had no pain on that medicine and felt wonderful. Death as an side effect of Vioxx? When I am in this much pain it is preferrable.
At any rate, today might be a fair day. Thank God for good days.
I am reading a good little book I found at a second-hand shop. I will probably talk about it soon. It is about time and how time is a gift from God to us, that together God and man weave time and how we do not view time in the correct way.
Gotta run now. Just wanted to take a quick break and drop a line and see what bites.
Monday, April 17, 2006
A Brighter Note
Oh wow! What a weekend. I don't know what I got accomplished. Most of the house is a mess still but I did clear the garage of junk for the trash pickup. And I had some time to work in the yard.
I was in an agony of pain for most of the last week. Friday & Saturday were absolutely the worst I think I have ever had. Leg pain all night Friday night, shooting pains from my hip to my ankle. It felt as if my bones were broken and I could barely walk...until I ask for prayer on Sunday morning. Went up for them to pray for me during the service. I was better almost immediately. But today the only pain I still had is in the back of my legs where I was bending over in the yard a lot. The rest of it is so minimal that it is hardly noticable. Always amazes me when that happens. How do non-believers explain it!
Mike is coming in tomorrow for about three weeks. I will be so happy to see him. I hope he can help with some of the stuff we have to do around here. I have been swampped and have not had enough help to get it all done.
I have some writing I want to post here later on but for now, this is it. How boring people must find this site.
I was in an agony of pain for most of the last week. Friday & Saturday were absolutely the worst I think I have ever had. Leg pain all night Friday night, shooting pains from my hip to my ankle. It felt as if my bones were broken and I could barely walk...until I ask for prayer on Sunday morning. Went up for them to pray for me during the service. I was better almost immediately. But today the only pain I still had is in the back of my legs where I was bending over in the yard a lot. The rest of it is so minimal that it is hardly noticable. Always amazes me when that happens. How do non-believers explain it!
Mike is coming in tomorrow for about three weeks. I will be so happy to see him. I hope he can help with some of the stuff we have to do around here. I have been swampped and have not had enough help to get it all done.
I have some writing I want to post here later on but for now, this is it. How boring people must find this site.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Feeling My Pain
Today is, of course, Tuesday. I have had one of the most pain filled weeks I can ever remember having. And if one more person shows me their deformed finger and says, "See, I have RA too and I understand how much it hurts." I am going to break the finger in question.
Frankly, I don't care if you have a nodule on your finger or your big toe. If you were in as much pain as I am in right now you wouldn't be smiling, you wouldn't be able to point to one single joint on you body and say it hurts, and you wouldn't be trying to tell me I can't possible be in more pain than you because you have a knot. You would be in bed begging for painkillers!
In fact, I have a very high tolerance for pain and never take pain medications except when the pain has become excruciating. I was on pain meds two days after my hysterectomy and while I still had staples in my stomach I told them I didn't need anything. Well... it didn't hurt very much. I don't do mind altering if I can help it. And I hardly ever vomit either! My husband knows if I am sick enough to vomit he had better get me to the hospital because I am very sick.
This week I have been so sick with the pain I thought a few times I would throwup. So when I say I am in pain, believe me, it is not your average pain. Every joint in my body is on fire. Several of them feel as if someone has taken a hammer and shattered them with the force of a pile driver. My right shoulder in particular hurt so bad last night that the mucles in my chest contracted and if felt as if they were being twisted in a wringer. Someone shook my hand on Sunday night and I nearly snatched it back because his thumb had touched a point on the back of it that I didn't realize was sore.
My feet feel as if I have undergone some kind of torture with bamboo sticks. The last joints on my fingers feel as if they were mashed in a vice. And my hip feels as if it is dislocated.
So, don't tell me you understand my pain unless you have been hit by a car. If you haven't, I can fix that for you.
Frankly, I don't care if you have a nodule on your finger or your big toe. If you were in as much pain as I am in right now you wouldn't be smiling, you wouldn't be able to point to one single joint on you body and say it hurts, and you wouldn't be trying to tell me I can't possible be in more pain than you because you have a knot. You would be in bed begging for painkillers!
In fact, I have a very high tolerance for pain and never take pain medications except when the pain has become excruciating. I was on pain meds two days after my hysterectomy and while I still had staples in my stomach I told them I didn't need anything. Well... it didn't hurt very much. I don't do mind altering if I can help it. And I hardly ever vomit either! My husband knows if I am sick enough to vomit he had better get me to the hospital because I am very sick.
This week I have been so sick with the pain I thought a few times I would throwup. So when I say I am in pain, believe me, it is not your average pain. Every joint in my body is on fire. Several of them feel as if someone has taken a hammer and shattered them with the force of a pile driver. My right shoulder in particular hurt so bad last night that the mucles in my chest contracted and if felt as if they were being twisted in a wringer. Someone shook my hand on Sunday night and I nearly snatched it back because his thumb had touched a point on the back of it that I didn't realize was sore.
My feet feel as if I have undergone some kind of torture with bamboo sticks. The last joints on my fingers feel as if they were mashed in a vice. And my hip feels as if it is dislocated.
So, don't tell me you understand my pain unless you have been hit by a car. If you haven't, I can fix that for you.
Wednesday, April 5, 2006
Someone Else's Answered Prayers
Sometimes God puts us in situations or places we find difficult or even unbearable. We experience great pain and terrible loss as a result of that place. In our despreration, we pray for God to help and to reposition us, to give us an answer that will give us peace or comfort, to show us a way out. But it seems that He has just abandoned us and there is no place to turn, no place to hide away from our distress.
We are often told that this is how we grow, how we find strengths that were hidden. Other times we are told we have done something to deserve God's anger, that this is our punishment.
But perhaps, the reality is much more important than that. Perhaps our position or situation is the direct result of a prayer prayed by someone else, also in straits worse than our own, someone who has prayed for a miracle for themselves or for someone they love. God heard their cry and in his infinite wisdom, looked around for an answer to that prayer. His eye fell on you and he smiled and said, “Ah, this is the solution, this is the miracle. This one will be willing to step in and help when the time comes. This one has strength they will discover in this situation and will move the mountain of another. But… that will mean I must allow them to experience heartache and grief of their own. Still, they are the only person for the job and they won't give up.”
So, only by putting us in an uncomfortable, even painful place can God answer someone else's prayer.
How scary to think that I may be the answer to someone's prayer. Even scarier to realize that God thinks that much of me.
We are often told that this is how we grow, how we find strengths that were hidden. Other times we are told we have done something to deserve God's anger, that this is our punishment.
But perhaps, the reality is much more important than that. Perhaps our position or situation is the direct result of a prayer prayed by someone else, also in straits worse than our own, someone who has prayed for a miracle for themselves or for someone they love. God heard their cry and in his infinite wisdom, looked around for an answer to that prayer. His eye fell on you and he smiled and said, “Ah, this is the solution, this is the miracle. This one will be willing to step in and help when the time comes. This one has strength they will discover in this situation and will move the mountain of another. But… that will mean I must allow them to experience heartache and grief of their own. Still, they are the only person for the job and they won't give up.”
So, only by putting us in an uncomfortable, even painful place can God answer someone else's prayer.
How scary to think that I may be the answer to someone's prayer. Even scarier to realize that God thinks that much of me.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
When's the Prayer Meeting?
I was reading my Bible Sunday morning and ran across a verse that I don’t recall ever reading or hearing preached. The verse is interesting to me because as I read it, I was led to some other interesting verses that set me to thinking about prayer.
Many people often ask when to pray and how often or if they should pray at all. One would think that, if there was a specific scripture in the Bible that comes close to an answer, then everyone, every Christian, would be plastering it on the wall in a fancy plaque, embroidering it onto pillows, cross-stitching it on fabric, wearing it on a shirt, or writing about it in a book. And yet, I don’t know of one book out there that answers the question, “When should I pray?”
Yet, there it is in Exodus, summed up in two verses. The minimum daily requirement is twice a day.
Exodus 30:7&8
7. And Aaron shall burn thereon sweet incense every morning: when he dresseth the lamps, he shall burn incense upon it.
When I read this, I felt the sense of urgency that Moses must have felt. He’d had several conversations with God. He had seen people struck down and swallowed up. He knew what that one statement from God would mean for Israel. He and Aaron acted quickly and interceded on behalf of the people with fiery prayers, not just in the temple, but by running among the people with burning incense. Total destruction of Israel was averted.
In 2 Kings 22 Josiah is king and the priest comes to him when he finds the book of the law in the house of the Lord. The book is brought to Josiah and read to him. Upon hearing it, he is so upset he tears his clothes, a sign of grief. The book revealed to Josiah that the nation had not been keeping the law. He sent his priest to talk to a woman who lives in the college. Whoa, dude! An educated woman preacher! Who said it was a male dominated society?
Here is what she said to them in 2 Kings 22:15-17
15. And she said unto them, Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, Tell the man that sent you to me,
16. Thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will bring evil upon this place, and upon the inhabitants thereof, even all the words of the book which the king of Judah hath read:
17. Because they have forsaken me, and have burned incense unto other gods, that they might provoke me to anger with all the works of their hands; therefore my wrath shall be kindled against this place, and shall not be quenched.
(Note of interest: she doesn’t even call the King by his title or name until she is repeating what the Lord has told her. She refers to him as “the man” -- an educated woman, unimpressed with titles.)
Josiah sets about to destroy every place where incense has been offered to other gods! He purges the nation of false priest, religions, and gods.
Psalms 141:2 also emphasizes that incense represents prayer in scripture.
Psalms 141:2
2. Let my prayer be set forth before thee as incense; and the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice.
Prayer is important and in scripture it is compared to incense drifting up to God. The lifting of the hands is a sign of surrender. So this verse could be said to signify surrendering to God and petitioning or worshiping him. When should you do this?
Exodus 30:7&8
7. And Aaron shall burn thereon sweet incense every morning: when he dresseth the lamps, he shall burn incense upon it.
8. And when Aaron lighteth the lamps at even, he shall burn incense upon it, a perpetual incense before the Lord throughout your generations.
How you pray is important. What you pray is important. Who you pray to is important. And yes, when you pray is very important. And if you want to pray more than twice a day, it sure can't hurt you.
Many people often ask when to pray and how often or if they should pray at all. One would think that, if there was a specific scripture in the Bible that comes close to an answer, then everyone, every Christian, would be plastering it on the wall in a fancy plaque, embroidering it onto pillows, cross-stitching it on fabric, wearing it on a shirt, or writing about it in a book. And yet, I don’t know of one book out there that answers the question, “When should I pray?”
Yet, there it is in Exodus, summed up in two verses. The minimum daily requirement is twice a day.
Exodus 30:7&8
7. And Aaron shall burn thereon sweet incense every morning: when he dresseth the lamps, he shall burn incense upon it.
8. And when Aaron lighteth the lamps at even, he shall burn incense upon it, a perpetual incense before the Lord throughout your generations.
As far as I can recall, Jesus never told his disciples how often to pray. He gave them a formula in the Lord’s Prayer on how to pray but he didn’t say a thing about how many times a day we are to pray according to that formula. Could it be that Jesus, knowing this scripture was there, expected everyone to know how often they were to pray?
I decided to do a search of the word “incense” in the Bible in an attempt to better understand how it was being used. I found that incense, in scripture at least, seems to represent prayer and there are many Old Testament scriptures that mention incense, hundreds, in fact. I recount only a few here that I felt were important and support my theory.
Leviticus 16: 13 describes praying for mercy. “And he shall put the incense upon the fire before the Lord, that the cloud of the incense may cover the mercy seat that is upon the testimony, that he die not: . . .”
Exodus 30:27 mentions an altar of incense. That would be an altar of prayer. In Numbers 7, the formula for the dedication of the altar is described and one of the things mentioned is an offering. “One golden spoon of ten shekels, full of incense...” This is an financial offering given with prayer.
Next in Numbers 16, God was about to destroy the people because they were mad with Moses and talking about him. The day before God had destroyed Korah and his family for the same offense. The Hebrews were scared to death then, but the next day they were complaining about it. God had just about had enough of this whining bunch of wimps who couldn’t follow directions without someone drawing a picture. Here is what He tells Moses and Moses acts quickly to save the people.
Numbers 16: 45-47 45.
45. Get you up from among this congregation, that I may consume them as in a moment. And they fell upon their faces.
46. And Moses said unto Aaron, Take a censer, and put fire therein from off the altar, and put on incense, and go quickly unto the congregation, and make an atonement for them: for there is wrath gone out from the Lord; the plague is begun.
47. And Aaron took as Moses commanded, and ran into the midst of the congregation; and, behold, the plague was begun among the people: and he put on incense, and made an atonement for the people.
When I read this, I felt the sense of urgency that Moses must have felt. He’d had several conversations with God. He had seen people struck down and swallowed up. He knew what that one statement from God would mean for Israel. He and Aaron acted quickly and interceded on behalf of the people with fiery prayers, not just in the temple, but by running among the people with burning incense. Total destruction of Israel was averted.
In 2 Kings 22 Josiah is king and the priest comes to him when he finds the book of the law in the house of the Lord. The book is brought to Josiah and read to him. Upon hearing it, he is so upset he tears his clothes, a sign of grief. The book revealed to Josiah that the nation had not been keeping the law. He sent his priest to talk to a woman who lives in the college. Whoa, dude! An educated woman preacher! Who said it was a male dominated society?
Here is what she said to them in 2 Kings 22:15-17
15. And she said unto them, Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, Tell the man that sent you to me,
16. Thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will bring evil upon this place, and upon the inhabitants thereof, even all the words of the book which the king of Judah hath read:
17. Because they have forsaken me, and have burned incense unto other gods, that they might provoke me to anger with all the works of their hands; therefore my wrath shall be kindled against this place, and shall not be quenched.
(Note of interest: she doesn’t even call the King by his title or name until she is repeating what the Lord has told her. She refers to him as “the man” -- an educated woman, unimpressed with titles.)
Josiah sets about to destroy every place where incense has been offered to other gods! He purges the nation of false priest, religions, and gods.
Psalms 141:2 also emphasizes that incense represents prayer in scripture.
Psalms 141:2
2. Let my prayer be set forth before thee as incense; and the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice.
Prayer is important and in scripture it is compared to incense drifting up to God. The lifting of the hands is a sign of surrender. So this verse could be said to signify surrendering to God and petitioning or worshiping him. When should you do this?
Exodus 30:7&8
7. And Aaron shall burn thereon sweet incense every morning: when he dresseth the lamps, he shall burn incense upon it.
8. And when Aaron lighteth the lamps at even, he shall burn incense upon it, a perpetual incense before the Lord throughout your generations.
How you pray is important. What you pray is important. Who you pray to is important. And yes, when you pray is very important. And if you want to pray more than twice a day, it sure can't hurt you.
- Footnote: One of the few places in the Bible where one is told “when” to pray is in 1st Thessalonians 5:17 -- Paul said to “Pray without ceasing.” Seen in light of the Old Testament events surrounding the use of incense, one can understand the importance of his instructions. For a perspective on Paul’s verse, visit www.cindysplace.4t.com and visit the story page to read “Time, A Place to Pray”
Ignoring with Bliss
She sat at her computer and pondered the expanse of white that waited for some gem to appear in black letters. Nothing happened.
It wasn't unusual. It happened frequently of late. This staring at the screen, wondering how to grasp a thought, clutch a feeling, or wrestle an idea and splash it across the virtual page. Right now she just sat, her mind as blank as the page in front of her, one feeding off the other.
The phone wasn't ringing, no one was at the door, and no one tapped at her shoulder for attention. There was pending catastrophy in her inbox, frustration awaiting in the file drawer, and messages in her voice mail. It could all just wait. She would ignore it all. She would sit and write something profound if it took her all day!
Someone knocked at her office door. "Yes?"
"Yada, yadayadayada yadayadayadayada, yada. Yada, yadayada, yada?"
"I will be right up. Have them take a seat."
Break is over. Well, at least the page is no longer blank.
It wasn't unusual. It happened frequently of late. This staring at the screen, wondering how to grasp a thought, clutch a feeling, or wrestle an idea and splash it across the virtual page. Right now she just sat, her mind as blank as the page in front of her, one feeding off the other.
The phone wasn't ringing, no one was at the door, and no one tapped at her shoulder for attention. There was pending catastrophy in her inbox, frustration awaiting in the file drawer, and messages in her voice mail. It could all just wait. She would ignore it all. She would sit and write something profound if it took her all day!
Someone knocked at her office door. "Yes?"
"Yada, yadayadayada yadayadayadayada, yada. Yada, yadayada, yada?"
"I will be right up. Have them take a seat."
Break is over. Well, at least the page is no longer blank.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Trend Setting by the Numbers
Ok, there has to be a trend here. Let's review.
- Jerry has back surgery Dec 1
- Dave & Becca have to move back in around the middle of December.
- Dave & Becca can't make their car payments and I take the car over.
- Jerry falls and breaks his hand.
- The car broke down and had to be repaired.
- The breaks on my other car need fixing.
- The phone company says I have to pay Dave & Becca's phone bill since we had it under our account.
- The washer breaks down at last. We knew it was going to happen since oil as been pour from beneath it for 6 months or more.
- Our medical expenses are averaging $250 a month, nearly one week's pay for me.
- Jerry still can't work.
- David's hours were cut.
- Becca still can 't work.
- My mother is in the hospital with kidney failure.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Monday Memories
Do you know that Monday repeats? It does! It is here again. I could swear that it was Monday... just last week.
I moved furniture on Saturday in my living room and cleaned it top to bottom. I also cleaned mopped the floors in the living room and both bathroom. The whole house smelled better. Every time I walked in lately the house smelled bad and I could not find what was causing it.
So Sunday I was in terrible pain. RA is bad enough but when you move furniture... well, let me just say that I had a hard time finding a place that didn't hurt! I sat in a chair all day at the computer because that mean I didn't have to move anything but my arms.
Today, I am back at work and mostly my legs hurt. So maybe by tomorrow, everything will clear up. I am not counting on it but hey, I might get lucky!
I am so homesick lately. My brother, Bill, came through last week and spent the night. He drives a truck and was in town making a delivery. It was nice to see him. We visited and it was nice just being with him. I miss him a lot and he comes for a visit once in a blue moon. In the 18 years I have lived here he as been in my house two times.
It made me just want to see home again. There is no one else to see really so I don't know why I feel that way. Jerry and I are talking about a trip to Andalusia to see his brother and sister and maybe we can run over to Mobile to see my aunts and grandmother. My mother is in Florida and I could run by there on the way home. But this would mean about 5 days travel and that is no fun for me. Actually, I'd just like to site-see in a couple of places!
I never see any of my family unless I go to them. Except for my Aunt and Uncle, they come visit once a year and it is so nice. Right now they are visiting Austraila. I try and get to their place every year or two. We tell each other we are the only family we have. It is a joke, of course, but seems very real.
I used to have a big family. I was the oldest of seven children but they lived with our mother but Bill and I lived with our grandparents (Mama & Daddy). The others are only half brothers and sisters never really cared as much for me as I did for them. Maybe because they had each other. Anyway, the emotional attachment was greater for me than them. However, I discovered that when people stay away long enough, you stop missing them. You feel sad for what was lost but that is about it.
All the adults my life was centered around are dead now. The only person I have never stopped missing is Mama. I think about her every day. Somedays I miss Daddy, too.
And we aren't going there today because I have to work! The 15 minute break is over.
I moved furniture on Saturday in my living room and cleaned it top to bottom. I also cleaned mopped the floors in the living room and both bathroom. The whole house smelled better. Every time I walked in lately the house smelled bad and I could not find what was causing it.
So Sunday I was in terrible pain. RA is bad enough but when you move furniture... well, let me just say that I had a hard time finding a place that didn't hurt! I sat in a chair all day at the computer because that mean I didn't have to move anything but my arms.
Today, I am back at work and mostly my legs hurt. So maybe by tomorrow, everything will clear up. I am not counting on it but hey, I might get lucky!
I am so homesick lately. My brother, Bill, came through last week and spent the night. He drives a truck and was in town making a delivery. It was nice to see him. We visited and it was nice just being with him. I miss him a lot and he comes for a visit once in a blue moon. In the 18 years I have lived here he as been in my house two times.
It made me just want to see home again. There is no one else to see really so I don't know why I feel that way. Jerry and I are talking about a trip to Andalusia to see his brother and sister and maybe we can run over to Mobile to see my aunts and grandmother. My mother is in Florida and I could run by there on the way home. But this would mean about 5 days travel and that is no fun for me. Actually, I'd just like to site-see in a couple of places!
I never see any of my family unless I go to them. Except for my Aunt and Uncle, they come visit once a year and it is so nice. Right now they are visiting Austraila. I try and get to their place every year or two. We tell each other we are the only family we have. It is a joke, of course, but seems very real.
I used to have a big family. I was the oldest of seven children but they lived with our mother but Bill and I lived with our grandparents (Mama & Daddy). The others are only half brothers and sisters never really cared as much for me as I did for them. Maybe because they had each other. Anyway, the emotional attachment was greater for me than them. However, I discovered that when people stay away long enough, you stop missing them. You feel sad for what was lost but that is about it.
All the adults my life was centered around are dead now. The only person I have never stopped missing is Mama. I think about her every day. Somedays I miss Daddy, too.
And we aren't going there today because I have to work! The 15 minute break is over.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Junkyard Living in the State of Depression
Yes! Yes! Yes! Another Friday is here. I survived another week! Can't believe it. And I am much better tonight. Bit ticked off but much better. Do ya'll think I stay that way?
I do feel better but I had a bit of help. Prayed first and then was remined by a voice at my shoulder that I have several nutritional supplements that I have not been taking in ah... well.... awhile. Alpha lipoic acid, B complex, Ginko Biloba, Gensing, Milk Thistle... all good for insulin metabolism. But one is St. John's Wort.
Goodness, yes, I get depressed. You couldn't tell? People with my disorder are already chemically unbalanced. That's CHEMICALLY unbalanced, I said! They can suffer from depression brought on by imbalances in their insulin. Basic chem.
Years ago, oh about nine, I became so severely depressed that I was suicidal. Talked to God; talked to my doctor. God was the only one who listened. He told me I had a great mind and could figure this out. I agreed with Him. So, I went to the library and checked out a dozen medical books on women's health issues. I started researching for causes of depression. Did you know that lots of things can cause depression and it is not all demonic? Really! Diet, lack of sleep, stress, and many health conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure, hormone imbalances, menopause . . . well, you can see the list is long.
So, once I found potential causes in myself, I began self-medicating with nutritional supplements based on my extensive research. Bad diet can cause depression but I had medical problems on top of financial stress (we were both unemployed for almost two years), on top of family crisises. I was a mess but with much prayer, proper nutrition and more prayer, in six months I was a new woman. I took St. John's Wort for three years beginning with one pill, 3x a day and by the third year was down to one pill, once a day.
Then one day, I went off them all together. Never had another episode, except when I am very stressed and short of sleep, both of which make each other worse. But in the last two years now I have taken SJW once and then only for about three days.
But about Wednesday, the big guy standing at my shoulder said I should take the things I knew were good for me and would help me feel much better in a couple of days. This week I have taken it again. In two days I am feeling much better and have slept better. And the lights are back on, dim, but on.
I am sure there are those out there who will have their own idea of depression but save it. I don't care. I know what worked. And tonight, I am living proof that once again listenting to that quiet voice at my shoulder is always a good thing.
WARNING: Herbal supplements can have severe side effects and may interact with some medications. NEVER take an herbal supplement until you discuss it with your doctor and with a pharmacist. I suggest you obtain a good book that will give you thorough information on supplements and herbal medicines. I did not discuss taking herbals with a doctor because the doctor was not listening when I talked about my depression. My repeated statements that something was wrong were ignored and I got sicker.
Not until I changed doctors did I find one who was very open to natrual medicines and worked with me. I was "well" by the time he saw me and his comment was, "Whatever you are doing is working so I don't want to mess with it." So, do your research and if your doctor will not discuss it with you, find another doctor. Expensive prescriptions with dangerous side effects are not always necessary.
You MUST not take St John's Wort with any other anti-depressant medication! Seek medical help if you are severely depressed. My way is NOT the best way. I had no choice. I had to find help where I could or die. As for prayer, it will help you get better and/or help you find the strength you need to seek help. It certainly won't hurt you... unless you have bad knees. But a pillow works wonders for that.
I do feel better but I had a bit of help. Prayed first and then was remined by a voice at my shoulder that I have several nutritional supplements that I have not been taking in ah... well.... awhile. Alpha lipoic acid, B complex, Ginko Biloba, Gensing, Milk Thistle... all good for insulin metabolism. But one is St. John's Wort.
Goodness, yes, I get depressed. You couldn't tell? People with my disorder are already chemically unbalanced. That's CHEMICALLY unbalanced, I said! They can suffer from depression brought on by imbalances in their insulin. Basic chem.
Years ago, oh about nine, I became so severely depressed that I was suicidal. Talked to God; talked to my doctor. God was the only one who listened. He told me I had a great mind and could figure this out. I agreed with Him. So, I went to the library and checked out a dozen medical books on women's health issues. I started researching for causes of depression. Did you know that lots of things can cause depression and it is not all demonic? Really! Diet, lack of sleep, stress, and many health conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure, hormone imbalances, menopause . . . well, you can see the list is long.
So, once I found potential causes in myself, I began self-medicating with nutritional supplements based on my extensive research. Bad diet can cause depression but I had medical problems on top of financial stress (we were both unemployed for almost two years), on top of family crisises. I was a mess but with much prayer, proper nutrition and more prayer, in six months I was a new woman. I took St. John's Wort for three years beginning with one pill, 3x a day and by the third year was down to one pill, once a day.
Then one day, I went off them all together. Never had another episode, except when I am very stressed and short of sleep, both of which make each other worse. But in the last two years now I have taken SJW once and then only for about three days.
But about Wednesday, the big guy standing at my shoulder said I should take the things I knew were good for me and would help me feel much better in a couple of days. This week I have taken it again. In two days I am feeling much better and have slept better. And the lights are back on, dim, but on.
I am sure there are those out there who will have their own idea of depression but save it. I don't care. I know what worked. And tonight, I am living proof that once again listenting to that quiet voice at my shoulder is always a good thing.
WARNING: Herbal supplements can have severe side effects and may interact with some medications. NEVER take an herbal supplement until you discuss it with your doctor and with a pharmacist. I suggest you obtain a good book that will give you thorough information on supplements and herbal medicines. I did not discuss taking herbals with a doctor because the doctor was not listening when I talked about my depression. My repeated statements that something was wrong were ignored and I got sicker.
Not until I changed doctors did I find one who was very open to natrual medicines and worked with me. I was "well" by the time he saw me and his comment was, "Whatever you are doing is working so I don't want to mess with it." So, do your research and if your doctor will not discuss it with you, find another doctor. Expensive prescriptions with dangerous side effects are not always necessary.
You MUST not take St John's Wort with any other anti-depressant medication! Seek medical help if you are severely depressed. My way is NOT the best way. I had no choice. I had to find help where I could or die. As for prayer, it will help you get better and/or help you find the strength you need to seek help. It certainly won't hurt you... unless you have bad knees. But a pillow works wonders for that.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Bloggy Mountain Breakdown
The two post prior to this one were actually done Thursday night and then Friday around noon, respectively. I tried to post them both when I did them but the system kept telling me there was an error. It was nerve wracking, let me tell you. I am still new at this blog stuff and I have no idea of the havoc that can result from one misspent message. Is that how you spell misspent?
I kept getting a message that said an engineer was contacted and would check the problem. Never one to trust engineers, (everything ends up on a diagram that even other engineers can't read) I had my doubts. But I guess he did because now it is working and I actually did three post!
I am tired and I am going to bed. No late night carousing on the web tonight.
I kept getting a message that said an engineer was contacted and would check the problem. Never one to trust engineers, (everything ends up on a diagram that even other engineers can't read) I had my doubts. But I guess he did because now it is working and I actually did three post!
I am tired and I am going to bed. No late night carousing on the web tonight.
The Long Road Home
It's Friday. Is there any day more lovely than Friday? Friday, 5:00 p.m. is the loveliest time of the week. When I reach that place, there will be dancing and music. I will hear choirs singing.
Friday, 5:00 p.m., the end of the weekly journey to Hell and Back!
I am hours from there.
I hate long drives.
Friday, 5:00 p.m., the end of the weekly journey to Hell and Back!
I am hours from there.
I hate long drives.
Searching for the Oasis
The struggle to survive seems so very exhausting at times. You look for places to lie in the shade and sleep for just a few minutes so you can continue the journey but the desert surrounds you and there is no water in this land.
You look for a different road to turn and there is no road at all. The desert wind blows sand in your face, and scours you mind and heart. You can't build here because when you try and lay the foundation for a shelter, the winds shift the sand and your walls come down. You are raw and broken, and so very tired.
So you continue to trudge through the drifts. Hoping, hoping so hard for a place to rest, for a green oasis where cool grass will refresh your eyes and cool water soothe your parched throat, and you can lie back and close your eyes in the shade for just a moment. Just until strength returns and your heart quiets. A place where all the world is quiet for just a moment and you can forget.
I only know of one thing to do but I still feel so defeated that even prayer seems a failure. Did you ever reach a place where you looked up to the face of God and said, "Let me rest. Let me just put my head here in your lap, for a little while, and rest. Give me peace so that my soul can rest. I am so weary and I just want to rest."
I have.
You look for a different road to turn and there is no road at all. The desert wind blows sand in your face, and scours you mind and heart. You can't build here because when you try and lay the foundation for a shelter, the winds shift the sand and your walls come down. You are raw and broken, and so very tired.
So you continue to trudge through the drifts. Hoping, hoping so hard for a place to rest, for a green oasis where cool grass will refresh your eyes and cool water soothe your parched throat, and you can lie back and close your eyes in the shade for just a moment. Just until strength returns and your heart quiets. A place where all the world is quiet for just a moment and you can forget.
I only know of one thing to do but I still feel so defeated that even prayer seems a failure. Did you ever reach a place where you looked up to the face of God and said, "Let me rest. Let me just put my head here in your lap, for a little while, and rest. Give me peace so that my soul can rest. I am so weary and I just want to rest."
I have.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Some Days Life Is A Challenge
I am on my lunch hour. Eating in the office. I hate doing that but the lunch was free and since they say there are no free lunches I thought I should take advantage of an apparent one.
I usually have to get out of the building because I need a break from the stress. Today, I am doing that by blogging. Have you seen how many I have done in three days. That is what stress will do to you! I said in a very early post that this was my opportunity to rant. I think I have proven it.
Did you ever get so sleepy that you could literally slide off your chair into a puddle? I feel that way now, after eating. That is not a good thing. I have metabolic disorder called insulin resistance. Not diabetes ... yet. It is a precursor. I think it is getting worse but can't be sure. I take a medicine called metformin that aids in insulin utilization. I could tell the difference immedialy after I started taking it. But now, some days, I don't know.
Diet is a major factor in diabetes. I try not to eat a lot of sweets, but I do eat some. Sadly, despite what the "experts" would have you believe, it is NOT cheaper to buy foods that are good for you than it is to buy food that are bad for you. You go try and buy ground beef. The leaner the meat the higher the price. And go try and buy a sugar free desert item. Higher than the one with sugar. Try buying fresh fruit and vegetables. Way more than canned and the cheapest canned is nasty! We all know that the nutritional value of canned is very poor when compared to fresh. So, if you have a metabolic disorder they would rather you be on medicine... which cost more than food!
My biggest problem is not enough physical exercise. I need to move! But there are too many things I want to do, too many thoughts I want to think, too many books I want to read! I don't have time to exercise. And then there is sleep. I just never get enough, ergo, I am sleepy at noon!
So, today I am trying to stay awake, think positive, and get a lot of stuff done. Some days life is a challenge, isn't it?
I usually have to get out of the building because I need a break from the stress. Today, I am doing that by blogging. Have you seen how many I have done in three days. That is what stress will do to you! I said in a very early post that this was my opportunity to rant. I think I have proven it.
Did you ever get so sleepy that you could literally slide off your chair into a puddle? I feel that way now, after eating. That is not a good thing. I have metabolic disorder called insulin resistance. Not diabetes ... yet. It is a precursor. I think it is getting worse but can't be sure. I take a medicine called metformin that aids in insulin utilization. I could tell the difference immedialy after I started taking it. But now, some days, I don't know.
Diet is a major factor in diabetes. I try not to eat a lot of sweets, but I do eat some. Sadly, despite what the "experts" would have you believe, it is NOT cheaper to buy foods that are good for you than it is to buy food that are bad for you. You go try and buy ground beef. The leaner the meat the higher the price. And go try and buy a sugar free desert item. Higher than the one with sugar. Try buying fresh fruit and vegetables. Way more than canned and the cheapest canned is nasty! We all know that the nutritional value of canned is very poor when compared to fresh. So, if you have a metabolic disorder they would rather you be on medicine... which cost more than food!
My biggest problem is not enough physical exercise. I need to move! But there are too many things I want to do, too many thoughts I want to think, too many books I want to read! I don't have time to exercise. And then there is sleep. I just never get enough, ergo, I am sleepy at noon!
So, today I am trying to stay awake, think positive, and get a lot of stuff done. Some days life is a challenge, isn't it?
Fitting End to an Unfit Day
It's over. Today, or rather yesterday now, is over. What a day. But in some respects it was good for me.
My little run in with my little co-worker was good. I was so distressed when that happened that I closed my office door and just prayed about it. I wanted to brain the brainless. But I prayed. And moments later I got an email from a wonderful lady that gave me some comfort even though she had no idea of what was happening.
I email her back and told her that her message had helped me and I explained, much briefer than I explained below, what had happened. I asked her to keep me in her prayers. I went back to work.
In the mean time, later that afternoon, another co-worker came and told me that she had asked the thoughtless one "what was that all about". Co-worker #1 told co-worker #2 that she had made a mistake. She had failed to read an email that would have explained what was going on. Of course she could have asked but she didn't. DUH! Did she come to me and say she was sorry for her behavior? No. I guess that would make her look bad.
Will she apologize? She might. This is not the first time she has done something like this. This is the third such incident with her in the last six months. She did apologize once before. Even if she doesn't forgiveness is required but I doubt I will ever see her the same way again. How foolish people are and how careless of the things that should be valued. Until recently, I had considered this coworker a friend. Today proved how much she thought of me.
Ten minutes after this happened I checked my email and I had a reply from my email friend. She told me she had prayed for me immediately. She had even written her prayer in the email and sent it to me. And the issue, for me anyway, was already resolved before I knew she had prayed over it.
Needless to say, but I will, I sent her a quick reply to say that God is good! And confirmation of His control is wonderful when you are stressed. I needed that confirmation to lift up a very beaten spirit.
God IS good.... all the time.
My little run in with my little co-worker was good. I was so distressed when that happened that I closed my office door and just prayed about it. I wanted to brain the brainless. But I prayed. And moments later I got an email from a wonderful lady that gave me some comfort even though she had no idea of what was happening.
I email her back and told her that her message had helped me and I explained, much briefer than I explained below, what had happened. I asked her to keep me in her prayers. I went back to work.
In the mean time, later that afternoon, another co-worker came and told me that she had asked the thoughtless one "what was that all about". Co-worker #1 told co-worker #2 that she had made a mistake. She had failed to read an email that would have explained what was going on. Of course she could have asked but she didn't. DUH! Did she come to me and say she was sorry for her behavior? No. I guess that would make her look bad.
Will she apologize? She might. This is not the first time she has done something like this. This is the third such incident with her in the last six months. She did apologize once before. Even if she doesn't forgiveness is required but I doubt I will ever see her the same way again. How foolish people are and how careless of the things that should be valued. Until recently, I had considered this coworker a friend. Today proved how much she thought of me.
Ten minutes after this happened I checked my email and I had a reply from my email friend. She told me she had prayed for me immediately. She had even written her prayer in the email and sent it to me. And the issue, for me anyway, was already resolved before I knew she had prayed over it.
Needless to say, but I will, I sent her a quick reply to say that God is good! And confirmation of His control is wonderful when you are stressed. I needed that confirmation to lift up a very beaten spirit.
God IS good.... all the time.
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