Feeling My Pain

Today is, of course, Tuesday. I have had one of the most pain filled weeks I can ever remember having. And if one more person shows me their deformed finger and says, "See, I have RA too and I understand how much it hurts." I am going to break the finger in question.

Frankly, I don't care if you have a nodule on your finger or your big toe. If you were in as much pain as I am in right now you wouldn't be smiling, you wouldn't be able to point to one single joint on you body and say it hurts, and you wouldn't be trying to tell me I can't possible be in more pain than you because you have a knot. You would be in bed begging for painkillers!

In fact, I have a very high tolerance for pain and never take pain medications except when the pain has become excruciating. I was on pain meds two days after my hysterectomy and while I still had staples in my stomach I told them I didn't need anything. Well... it didn't hurt very much. I don't do mind altering if I can help it. And I hardly ever vomit either! My husband knows if I am sick enough to vomit he had better get me to the hospital because I am very sick.

This week I have been so sick with the pain I thought a few times I would throwup. So when I say I am in pain, believe me, it is not your average pain. Every joint in my body is on fire. Several of them feel as if someone has taken a hammer and shattered them with the force of a pile driver. My right shoulder in particular hurt so bad last night that the mucles in my chest contracted and if felt as if they were being twisted in a wringer. Someone shook my hand on Sunday night and I nearly snatched it back because his thumb had touched a point on the back of it that I didn't realize was sore.

My feet feel as if I have undergone some kind of torture with bamboo sticks. The last joints on my fingers feel as if they were mashed in a vice. And my hip feels as if it is dislocated.

So, don't tell me you understand my pain unless you have been hit by a car. If you haven't, I can fix that for you.