Sunday, December 30, 2012

Deadly December

My mother died today. I wish I had something to say that was meaningful and profound. I don't. I hate December. Her parents raised me and I called her mother Mama. Mama had a stroke on December 24, 1973 and died January 2, 1974. Daddy, my mother's dad, died December 10, 1990. His sister died in December. My husband, Jerry, died January 29, 2009, ten days after our anniversary. Is it any wonder that I await the Big Three holidays with absolute dread? I'd love to find something joyful in the season but it is pretty much horrible.

I am actually not feeling much of anything but a kind of depression. I recognize this for what it is and I know I'll have to be careful for a while. I will be leaving on Wednesday to go home for the funeral. They're trying to do it on Thursday but lets face it, New Years Day is not the best time to arrange a funeral.

I'm ready to adjust my calendar to eliminate December. Maybe January, too.

6 comments:

  1. Such a sad time. My thoughts are with you. ((((hugs))))

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  2. I'm so sorry for your loss, and for your losses. Today is the day my mom died, in 1995, after a long battle with cancer. My dad died, also from cancer, on December 12, 1989. My dearly loved mother-in-law died on December 27, 1999. It took awhile before we no longer dreaded December. I know they are in a better place, and I also know they are with me always. December doesn't make me cry anymore. I wish that for you, dear friend. Hugs & love.

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  3. I'm sure there is nothing any one can say that will make it any better but maybe just knowing that others know and are thinking of you will help. I'll light a candel for you and keep you in my thoughts.

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  4. I know that there is nothing that I can say to make this any easier for you . Please just know that I am thinking of you and am here if you need me. Xx

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