A Hurried Trip Through My Week

I actually started this blog on Friday and didn't get to finish it. I hate when that happens. So, we'll do it now.

I hate whiners. Some days I don't like myself. I whine. I've had a terrible week and I've whined too much because of it and by mid-day I was feeling bummed because whining is its own reward. The more you do it, the more you feel it.

I had a lovely lunch with my friend, Loraine on Friday. A nice positive end to the week, at least. She's back home from her summer in Tennessee. Loraine is a nice ray of sunshine and she is such a good friend. Who knew four years ago during NaNo I'd make such a good friend. She's a good listener but today, she actually talked a lot, for Loraine. It was nice to listen for a change.

Walking has been a problem. All week I could barely walk. Shin splints. They're were better by Friday and I took my bike to the cemetery and rode instead of walking but it was so hot. Obviously not doing any hills. I was feeling better doing all that walking. I have to continue. I haven't walked since or ridden the bike. The heat is impossible. I'm hoping for a cooler week ahead and returning to walking. I've bought some inserts for my shoes to see if it helps.

Saturday I spent moving furniture around, clearing some space in Sarah's room. This is all heavy bookcases and a desk with a hutch that only weighs about 700 lbs. Takes two grown men move the hutch off the desk, with a lot of effort even then. I rarely do that. But shoving this thing around the room is work. By eight o'clock I was fairly well unable to move a pillow. The bookcases are quite heavy but thankfully, David moved those. I just manhandled the books.

We decided to take Sarah to Sonic for supper and while we were sitting there I told David, "I can't do this anymore. When Dad was alive I had help but now, I'm too old to be doing this stuff."

Sarah spoke up from the back seat in a chiding voice. "Mawmaw! You shouldn't say you're old! It's true but you shouldn't say that about yourself!"

Needless to say, Dave and I would have rolled in the floor had we the room in the car to do so.

Sunday we went to church. That afternoon around 2 p.m. I decided I needed a nap before church that night. Dave woke me and said, "Mom, don't you think we need to get up? It's seven o'clock."

I looked around window and noted it wasn't very light outside. I said, "Dave, it's Monday, we don't have to work today. I don't have to get up."

He said, "Mom, it's Sunday."

I said, "No it isn't. It's Monday and a holiday. I don't have to go to work."

He said, "Mom, it is Sunday. We went to church this morning."

I still couldn't fathom it. When I finally got my head back on I realized that all of us, me, Dave, and Mike had gone to sleep and slept all afternoon. I knew I was tired and had not slept well the night before because of my aches and pains but I was obviously more tired than even I realized.

Today Dave went to the Labor Day picnic at church and I stayed home, just sitting around crocheting, winding yarn, and watching movies all alone. It has been heaven. We're going over to Becca's in a bit and have cake and ice cream with Sarah. Today is her 7th birthday. She is growing up too fast. I suspect she's still a lot less "mature" than her peers but we've sheltered her from the likes of Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana. She's not into make-up but likes perfume and powder. She's not into baby dolls but prefers stuffed animals and other critters. And she loves a good story. My girl.

I hate that I have to go back to work tomorrow. It just drains me so much. Lately, I'm looking around at what I'm doing and all the things I want to do and finding it decidedly lacking in several areas. I haven't been crocheting as much but I need another skein of yarn for the sweater. I got that on Saturday. I don't want to start the next one until I'm done with this one.

I've been reviewing my online presence for a while now. More and more I've limited my involvement because it has become very unrewarding and was sucking time better spent on more constructive pursuits. And I've stuck to things that are constructive as much as possible. I was even able to do CampNaNo. I'm trying to do some new things with my local writing group.

I was reviewing my blogs and those I subscribe to. I have all the blogs I'm subscribed to in Feedly and I really like it way better than I ever liked Google Reader. Slick, easy to use, and easy to read. And I can skim much better to see if the topic is of interest.

I noticed I'm subscribed to twenty-seven blogs on a variety of subjects. Some are blogs about things I'm interested in, i.e. crochet, writing, widows. Some are blogs by online acquaintances/friends. Some are special people in my life that I just  like reading about their life. Here and there I make comments and drop a note. 

It suddenly occurred to me that only a handful of people ever interact with me on the blogs. I notice more a one-sided affairs. I've noticed before and wondered about it. I don't expect the specific interest blogs to respond unless I make a comment that requires one. But oddly enough, I usually get an email if I do. The blog that I am subscribed to as acquaintances and friends is another matter. I don't make a ton of comments and lately very few. But I'm trying to evaluate the value of having contacts with whom I'm never in contact.

I'm left with one conclusion. Either my blog is uninteresting, a real possibility that I frequently admit to on my blog, or these are people who really just wanted subscribers for their blogs. I don't like being a pretty face. I'm guessing that for the most part, reading a blog that holds no value to anyone but the blogger is a waste of time. My blog is more of a journal and who wants to read someone's diary all the time. I feel pretty much the same way... well, that's probably not true as I enjoy the personal blogs a lot more than my craft ones. Life is always more interesting to me. So, I'm evaluating what I want to keep and which I want to toss on my blog list.

On top of that, I've been reorganizing my circles, eliminating some, consolidating others. I've got too many and while they are handy for categorizing, too many becomes a chore to juggle. They're colored balls that get bounced around. Even when you delete them, they bounce and roll off the screen. And frankly, this is another case of people adding, not to talk to you but to advertise something they're selling, whether a product or service. I don't want what you're selling so bother adding me. If you're not interested in interaction, don't add me. I'm seeing more of the advertising on Facebook too, leading me again to consider chucking all social networks. I really find them tedious in most respects. I even signed on to twitter and find it eminently useless. Even were I a famous person, I'd find it a waste of time.

My friend, Chris, had a very good blog today. It is what I always enjoyed about the Multiply blogs. They were about people and you cared about each other. You shared a lot more. And I have several of those folks on my list and they're probably the ones I hear from most often. It still isn't Multiply but I'm learning more and more how to utilize G+ to fill in the blanks and it helps. So, I'm going to go through my blog subscriptions and do some trimming. Twenty-seven blogs is a lot. Something has to go.

We just got back from Sarah's birthday celebration. It was very nice for all of us to be there and watch her and eat cake and ice cream. I was very proud of David for making the effort. I want someday for Sarah to be able to look back and say, "Mom and Dad may not have been able to work out their differences but set those aside to give me good memories." I'd give anything to have such a memory.

 Tomorrow is a work day. I think I've got a cold. I've been coughing and have some kind of congestion in my chest. Going to take something and hit the hay. Pray for a better week for me.

Penalties and Politics

This week is nearly over and I'm so glad. It had just been horrible. I'm exhausted. I don't even know what day it is! Someone leaving the office said, "Have a nice holiday weekend!"

I looked at them like they were crazy and said, "What holiday?" Then was so relived when someone said Labor Day. Three day weekend!

I have about four or five hearings tomorrow afternoon. I hate this part of the job. I've had to drop people from the program because reporting violations that resulted in over payments. Understand I have no problem with the person has deliberately committed fraud, like the woman who made $700 a week and we paid all her rent for months because she didn't report her income. She owes the government $3700. I hope she gets fired. Someone else needed that help.

However, there are some folks who just make a mistake and forget. We can tell the difference. And we usually work with them. Not this time. You see, our moronic leaders have graciously sent money to Egypt and Syria and Palestine while cutting the budgets of every American housing program in the country. Meaning Americans are going to be homeless in favor of terrorist controlled countries.

The end result of all that is that we are terminating as many from the housing program as we can in as short a time as possible. I sent out 15 withdrawal letters telling those people I was taking away their assistance as of 08/31. Sunday for you voters. Three of those people have small children and I knew they simply forgot. They made a mistake, their first one. One of them is severely ADD and can't even fill out her paperwork without help. She sobbed and begged to be allowed to remain on the program. We are in a short fall (NO MONEY). There is no grace period. Nothing that will allow me to put her on probation and set up repayment arrangements. Her debt? $92. I asked twice if I could make an exception in a couple of cases. The answer was no. If we paid too much rent, they had to go.

We are sending billions to a bunch of people who will cut off our heads.

I am so happy to say I did not vote for that bunch of Washington clowns. And the idiocy of a voting populace who can't recognize what is happening is just beyond my tolerance. Do not even go there with me. I'm not interested in your justification of the raping of this country. I can only pray that the coming election will fix something. I believe it is too late. We've sold our souls ad I won't be surprised if in less than three years this country will be under a socialist or communist rule with most of our rights suspended. Come back and tell me I'm wrong in 2016. I'll print a retraction. I doubt you'll be able to because government attempts to control the press and internet is already underway. Just watch the biased and repressive media reports. Socialist takeovers always begin with limiting press and suppression of diverse political discourse.

Study the Nazi take over of Germany, beginning with Hitler's bid for election. Learn from it. Get acquainted with it. You'll know it when you see it... unless you're stupid.

On top of that, I can't walk for a few days. My shins are not good, nor are my feet.

My RA Doctor wants me to take Metheltrixate on top of the Plaquanil! She took xrays of my hands and I have erosions in my the joints of my hands. Still, no. The side effects of these medicines are already causing hearing loss, potentially can blind me, and reduced my immune system so I get sick more often. I have mouth sores from lowered immunity and have to use salt water to rinse my mouth twice a day to keep them in check. Metheltrixate causes hair loss and I don't even know what else. I don't suppose joint deformity is any worse than all these combined. If I can keep the pain in check I'll deal with it.

And that is what the week has done to my attitude and mood. I'm headed for bed before I say something I'm regret tomorrow.

Long Week, Short Weekend

My goodness it has been a while, a whole week, in fact. Work has been a beast and all I've done is come home, walk and sit and watch British mysteries. I've was simply brain dead by the time I got home each night. I crocheted a lot.

On Tuesday, some intellectually challenged soul decided to mail letters to 1600 participants to tell them if we found them not reporting income we would be dropping them and if they had any unreported income they should come in and submit the attached withdrawal form. Imagine a program with elderly, handicapped, and intellectually stunted people as well as those who have a reasonable intelligence. What do you think happened? Back to back calls for two day and God knows what Monday will bring. It was horrendous.

I have been walking roughly a mile and a half now, if you've been watching on my Facebook and G+ pages. This morning it took me 45 minutes. I dawdled a bit. I've shot several videos about my walks. Really walking in an old cemetery is awesome. I've learned a lot of things about cemeteries, tombstones, symbols of death, and social status. It just has continued to surprise and entertain me.

Today was my local writer's group meeting. We had a really good time I think. We had a writing exercise that worked out quite well. I brought three old photos that I found online and we had to choose one to write about. I chose two of them, which was cheating a bit. Everyone did very well with their story and hearing the different perspectives was really interesting. Everyone saw something different.

Here's the photo I choose: http://www.flickr.com/photos/addie-b/7359602126/



Here's the story that came with it.

Harry and Maude

Harry smiled across the table at Maude as she told him about her shopping trip the day before. He hated shopping but Maude loved it and he loved hearing her talk, about anything, the price of eggs, the spoiled milk in the baby's bottle, the weather.


“I tell you, Maude, you should not go into that market alone. I don't trust those men with the funny hats. They're bound to be up to no good.” Winnie moved a glass and brushed crumbs off the table. “Harry, you should go with her.”


“Nonsense, sweetheart. Maude can charm the birds from the trees. She's perfectly fine on her own. Besides, I had to take that paperwork down to the Judge. He's been out of town for weeks.”


Maude sat silent, smiling at Harry. Beneath e the table she stretched and rubbed his leg with her foot. He blushed and moved his leg. “I think I wouldn't have got much shopping done if Harry had been along, Mother. He's far too much of a distraction for me.”


“Hush child.” Harry chuckled and winked at her.


Winnie got up and began to clear the table. “Well, I'm still not convinced a fellow who wears a turban and long skirts is to be trusted. They have most unpleasant faces and I'm sure they're just waiting to drag decent women into an alley.”


“Mama, do be quiet.” Maude leaned forward and glared. “The servants will hear you.”


“Don't care if they do.” She picked up her tray and started for the kitchen. “Uncivilized heathens, gadding about in the streets. Makes me terribly uncomfortable.”


She left them and silence lay thick at the mist that had rolled in from the mountains. The sun slanted across the balcony, casting harsh shadows. Branches from a nearby tree shaded Harry's face and he frowned. “It can be dangerous, Maude. You should take someone out with you. I didn't know you intended to go on your own.”


Her laughter dance out onto the air and his heart seemed to speed up. “Darling, I am perfectly fine. No one is going to hurt me.”


“That woman three weeks ago...”


“Was in a terrible part of town, Harry. She should have known better than to go there. I'm sure she must have gotten lost.”


“It was bad, Maude. I spoke with the constable.”


She rose and moved around the table, leaned down to kiss his cheek. “I'm not going walking in the back alleys of the bazaar, Harry. I promise. Beside, who'd bother the wife of the ambassador's son?”


He watched her go into the house and then turned to stare out at the forest a dozen feet away. He didn't want to answer that.

Walking on the Sunny Side

A Cemetery Walk