End In Sight

It is almost here! Another week of work will be done in a couple of hours. What a horrible week it has been. I've just not had a day since last Friday! I'm hoping this weekend is better. Two and a half hours and I'm out of here.

I didn't cut the yard last night. I just didn't want to mess with it. So, I still have to get it done. The good news is Dave may have sold that other car! I'm so thrilled by that. The guy tried to . . . well that term is politically incorrect but much more colorful. . . negotiate him down on the price but my big old salesman stood firm and got his asking price. The guy will pick it up tonight. The money is MINE since I bought the Nissan. Not much money but $400 is pretty a good deal for that car. It needs work and Dave was up front about it. I'm thinking he knew that the motors in Geo's are very good and thought he'd get it for nearly nothing. We had another buyer if this one fell through. Becca's mom was going to buy it when they come down in September but I really need the money now. Have to pay for that service call on the a/c!

I thought about it today. Did you know you can get so tired of being sad. And if something can't be changed there isn't much you can do to fix it. I know, everyone says find something to do. I have lots I could do if I could find a way to get my head around it and didn't have to come back to reality. But I have no desire to really DO anything. I don't care if I go anywhere or not. I don't read anymore. I can hardly write most days except to blog. I don't care for television and only watch HULU when a show I like is out... maybe six a week? And when that is done, I go to bed. I get up and go to work. On the weekend, I sometimes sit on the sofa all day and read blogs and other sites. I pick up around the house, do dishes when it suits me or when I can't stand them anymore ( I don't have a dishwasher), and I do my laundry at the end of the week while I'm sitting on the sofa. I don't call people. I managed to get to church about three or four times a month if I'm not in pain.

I've lost a file at work and I've looked everywhere. I do not understand how it could just disappear. I know where it was and there is no reason for it not to be there. I've looked all over the building and so have my co-workers. It has just evaporated. Now I have to call the client in and get the paperwork all over again. And she is crazy... seriously crazy. No one wants to deal with her and she will raise Cain about this. I don't want to lie to her but I also don't want to tell her the file is 'lost'. She's mentally ill and gives us enough grief about stupid things. What will happen is I'll get all the documents all over again and the day I finish it, someone will walk in and say "Look what I found."

I've prayed for it to be found. God is the finder of lost things and I've always prayed that way about such things. So, I'm giving it two weeks and will see what happens. If it is in this building it will show up. If it isn't, the we have a more serious problem.

I saw my videos of Sarah were very dark and I don't know why. The room was dark but I must have had the setting too low for the lighting. Glad you all liked them.

So, the weekend of sitting around begins soon and I still have work. I'll sign off for now.

Nearly There!

Weekend is in sight and that's always a good thing. I woke up because my air conditioner didn't sound right. I could hear it running but nothing coming out. I waited 15 minutes and finally turned it off. Then, I waited again and turned it back on. It seems to be running correctly now but I'm going to call the H&AC guy and have it services to see if anything is wrong NOW instead of when it is 10 below.

The last time something went wrong was the year before Jerry died and it was freezing outside. They had to come out in the middle of the night to get it going and then come back the next day to put a part on it. I fear it may be time to replace it and I really don't like it. This one cost $3500 over 10 years ago. They aren't good for more than that usually.

I bought some pretty beads when I was in Cave City, KY at Wal-mart. I stopped there for something and decided to try making one of those beaded watchbands that are so popular. I was going to do it at the hotel in the evening but as you all know, my weekend was less than I had hoped it to be. I figured I'd do it at home.

It has been nearly a week and I haven't touched it. But last night, I turned on a television show and sat and made this watchband and a bracelet to match. I think it came out quite well and I'm going to get more beads and try my hand at different colors. This one, as you can see, matches my top this morning. Since I wear a lot of blue of these shades it will be nice to have my watch band match. I have three similar bands I bought but they are different colors. This band and the matching bracelet cost me about $8 to make but I paid, I think $10 for the bought ones.

Off to work now. I have a long day ahead. I'm really tired this week. Having problems when I go to bed at night. But that has been ongoing since Jerry died. I no longer think there is a solution. I don't know what it is called... Grief, depression, melancholy, sadness. A rose by any other name.

Hope everyone has a good run to the weekend.

Village Blacksmith

Got this in my email and had to share. So funny!


The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. The blacksmith immediately began his instructions to the lad, "When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer."

The apprentice did just as he was told. Now he's the village blacksmith.


And I've worked for those people!

My Feet Hurt

Tonight, when I get home, I'm going to put something on my feet and knees. They hurt when I walk on them. I walk as if I'm on eggshells and it feels like something will break if I move very fast. That or I'll be groaning from the pain. Actually, I wore good shoes in the cave and even when I was stranded I had them on. My calves hurt, too, but that is probably from lack of use. I demanded that they carry me up that steep path. The heat dehydrated me and so I am sure the muscle pain was inevitable.

Other things are hurting. Once you realize how very alone you really are it changes things a lot. I'm taking the St. John's Wort regularly, morning and night. I doubt what I feel is depression. It could be but I don't think so. I suspect it is just defeat. It hurts, it is hopeless, and it is hobbling. Like my feet, I can't move forward very well.

I had a weird dream. I was preaching somewhere. LOL, I do NOT preach. I do NOT do public speaking unless forced by my job. But some preacher sitting in the minister's area kept interrupting me. He was very rude. I'd say something and he'd contradict me and started to "preach". I do not remember anything he said. I was beginning to think I'd not be able to get to my point, which was very important, for me if not for the congregation in the dream. I kept having to talk around him. I did finally reached the end with some effort.

His name? I don't know. Never remember seeing him before and he didn't look like anyone I knew. He is that nagging, haranguing voice that won't shut up. He sits in a place of authority but is not in authority. He never talked to me directly. He couldn't get up and stop me either, just pontificate to the audience. And I finished my "sermon" despite him.

I woke up. Time for work.

New Plans

My aunt and uncle called me today. I will be meeting them in Louisville next month for the quartet convention. My musician uncle is a fan of gospel quartet. I'll meet them Friday night and come home on Sunday. It is only a two hour drive from here so it won't be an exhausting drive. And one hopes the weather will be nicer by then.

I'm getting new tires before I go.