Crossing Days

I read my Horrorscope for fun. They're seldom right about anything. I've not won any money, never taken an unexpected trip, nor met a mysterious stranger...weird but not mysterious.

I look at Biorythms for the same reason. However, over the years, I notice that the biorythms actually appear more accurate about some things. Of course, it's all hokey pokey psuedo science but I've watched them for a couple of decades. About an hour ago I began to feel as if my mood was falling. I didn't think more about it but just a minute ago I was looking over my google homepage and was reminded that today is a crossing day for all of my biorythms. I noted this last week to myself but as I said, this is a passing interest only and I don't plan my life by such things. The lowest point will be later this evening. Hmmm.

For the uninformed and scorners, biorythms are a theory that our bodies are on a cycle that rises and falls throughout the month. On days when these cycles cross certain points or each other, our responses and reactions to things is affected. A good Wiki is found here to explain them: Biorythm

It is said that on crossing days you may be more prone to accidents. Again, related to physical cycles, we all know that at certain times of the month women have shorter attention spans, mood swings, and sort fuses. This is cyclical and will pass. You can plot it on a chart. My guess is we are all a mass of cycles. Life is a cycle whose high point can be marked by finding the middle between death and life.

If I think about Jerry in light of these cycles and waves, for him 29.5 was the peak of his life. At that point he was very successful in his military career, he was very healthy and running 5 miles three days a week. We were very happy and living in a foreign country! Our oldest child was about to be born. It was probably the happiest time in either of our lives. I remember it very well. We were on top of the wave.

Understand, I do not believe these cycles or biorythms predict the future, your actions, your behavior or any outcomes.Those are all up to you and God. I do tend to find them interesting because there is a definate wave pattern to human emotions, moods, activity, and intellectual processes, even human life. We all have "up" days and "down" days, some more than others. So it is not beyond my comprehension that these can be plotted on a chart. Women start to plot cycles on charts when they're teenagers! So, if there are physical cycles, then there has to be mental and emotional cycles. Therefore, biorythms are an interesting footnote in my long list of interesting subjects. I thought I'd post about it.

I've felt my mood dropping for the last two hours and couldn't understand it since I was relatively ok when I got up and this is my last day of work for ten days! All the waves are in the bottom of the chart and are crossing.

For those of you who are offended by horrorscopes and biorythms and all the other psuedoscience.... well, lighten up. Most of the scientific community say they are all bogus so there is notchance you job will be predicated on them. Most Chirstians say they are witchcraft so you may want to avoid them... the subjects, not Christians.

As for me, I also read the comics in the Sunday paper and do crossword puzzles. I swear that Born Loser can predict the future and there are secret messages in the crossword puzzles.

Gotta go now. Catch you all later.

I'm Going to Do It

I finally decided to start taking St. John's Wort. I 'm tired of waking up depressed and going to bed depressed. I am having trouble just getting started in the mornings and this is just the first stage. It may not get better on its on and I just am not willing to take the chance. I've been in that hell before and I'd just as soon bypass it this time. But I don't want prescriptions antidepressants. The counselor was skeptical about SJW but I've used it in the past with great results.

So, I'll get some today and start taking it tonight. I'll have to be careful in the sun but they have sunblock so that shouldn't be a problem. It can make you photo-sensitive. That's sensitive to light, not photographs.

I am also thinking about taking a trip to Spain in the fall. I was invited to go with my aunt and uncle. Have I told you this? Don't think so. Anyway, they are taking a cruise back from there but are leaving early to sightsee. I am not interested in a week at sea but I would love to go to Spain. Means boning up on Spanish... my two years of college Spanish is dismally rusty. And getting a passport, which someone pointed out I should start on now just in case. I think I will have enough time saved to take a few day and a bit of money saved for it. Means I won't fix something but these things don't come often. I checked priceline and the flights are unbelievably cheap!

Of course, I could go somewhere else if not Spain. Jilly, Wendy & Katey, if I decide to visit England, will you show me around? I'd love to visit Ireland, too. Choices, choices. I suppose I better read up on hotels and such too. I haven't done all this in decades... since we got out of service.

Anyway, those are some of the things I'm going to be doing.

Still don't know about the laptop. Had lots of suggestions. Alice is not subtle. She sent me advertisements. LOL! I guess I need one? But I have this lovely desktop that is only a year old and works great.

Cannibals Talk

Two cannibals were sitting around the campfire talking. One of the cannibals said, "You now, I just don't like my brother-in-law."

To which the other replied, "Then just eat the noodles."


From: The Good Clean Funnies List (www. gcfl.com)

Winding Down

Monday is closing out. What a busy day it was, too. I was late getting to work because I had to go take Mike's birth certificate to the Social Security office. I wasn't about to let them have the original. They made a copy.

Once I got to work, about 2 hours late. I skipped lunch and worked all day. I did get my desk relatively cleaned off but I know it will pile up quickly if I let my guard down. I am working on getting all the bits and pieces processed before I leave. I dread coming back after a vacation of any kind. It just builds up so badly.

The day was beautiful but I've been down since yesterday. I can't seem to get very happy for long. I did start a new puzzle. I did the sorting tonight. I don't know if I will be able to do much before I leave but I will have it out so I can work on it as I feel the need to distance my mind.

It really isn't very good, you know. I can't think of anything I want to do. I don't want for any thing at this point. I have food, shelter, transportation, a job, clothing, every need is met. I have a little money to do little things for my children. I can take Sarah for milkshakes. I can buy her dresses and shoes without thinking about it much. But none of it suffices. It is as if it is all pointless.

There was a time when doing something to the house would excite me. Jerry and I would plan, gather materials, and then set to work fixing something up. We'd always argue somewhere in the process but we would keep working until we got it done and then stand back and smile at how good a job we did. We'd be so excited to have done something. We've done floors, walls, plumbing, everything you can think of here. We loved our house and loved doing things around here. It doesn't look like much now but we envisioned a lovely home. Dreams that never came true for us.

I find myself wanting to do those things and looking at the job and realizing that it doesn't matter. Even if I get it done, there is no excitement or fun in the job or completed process. It will be nice. It just doesn't matter much.

I'm start going trying to writing again. I finished chapter 43 of Mist last night. I started chapter 43 before Jerry died. I let Alice know it was done and she emailed to say she had read it and liked it. But she loves Mist. I have no idea why. Lord, I remember when I started that thing it was just an exercise in writing and never intended for public consumption, never mind a 75,000 word story! That is the longest novel I've ever written so it would be stupid not to complete it. I would like to get the rest of it done now. I still don't have much concentration for more than blogging. I was just beginning to get focused when life turned over and poured out everything.

I'm still thinking about a laptop. I don't know what is the best way to go. I like the idea of carrying it with me so I can write anywhere but the question now is, will I? I don't now. I'm scared to spend $800 on a laptop that I won't use.

I'm going to shower now and try to get settled for the night. I've forgotten my pills again so I'll do that now. Have a good night.

Bummer of a Day

It was a long day and I'm tired. Dave and Becca took me out to eat. That is a very rare treat, indeed and I enjoyed it, as much as I can enjoy anything. Everything is tempered with sadness and there hangs a cloud over all that I think, feel and see.

I am able to get through most days without thinking a lot but there is always the unexpected moment when I can't get my breath or I have an image flash across my vision. A word, phrase, melody, a photograph, or movie are all catalyst for a break in the flow of my life that begins with a small gasp.

Tonight, I"m tired and on my way to bed. I've sat up too late watching Hulu. I have lab work in the a.m. so good night.