The two post prior to this one were actually done Thursday night and then Friday around noon, respectively. I tried to post them both when I did them but the system kept telling me there was an error. It was nerve wracking, let me tell you. I am still new at this blog stuff and I have no idea of the havoc that can result from one misspent message. Is that how you spell misspent?
I kept getting a message that said an engineer was contacted and would check the problem. Never one to trust engineers, (everything ends up on a diagram that even other engineers can't read) I had my doubts. But I guess he did because now it is working and I actually did three post!
I am tired and I am going to bed. No late night carousing on the web tonight.
Friday, March 17, 2006
The Long Road Home
It's Friday. Is there any day more lovely than Friday? Friday, 5:00 p.m. is the loveliest time of the week. When I reach that place, there will be dancing and music. I will hear choirs singing.
Friday, 5:00 p.m., the end of the weekly journey to Hell and Back!
I am hours from there.
I hate long drives.
Friday, 5:00 p.m., the end of the weekly journey to Hell and Back!
I am hours from there.
I hate long drives.
Searching for the Oasis
The struggle to survive seems so very exhausting at times. You look for places to lie in the shade and sleep for just a few minutes so you can continue the journey but the desert surrounds you and there is no water in this land.
You look for a different road to turn and there is no road at all. The desert wind blows sand in your face, and scours you mind and heart. You can't build here because when you try and lay the foundation for a shelter, the winds shift the sand and your walls come down. You are raw and broken, and so very tired.
So you continue to trudge through the drifts. Hoping, hoping so hard for a place to rest, for a green oasis where cool grass will refresh your eyes and cool water soothe your parched throat, and you can lie back and close your eyes in the shade for just a moment. Just until strength returns and your heart quiets. A place where all the world is quiet for just a moment and you can forget.
I only know of one thing to do but I still feel so defeated that even prayer seems a failure. Did you ever reach a place where you looked up to the face of God and said, "Let me rest. Let me just put my head here in your lap, for a little while, and rest. Give me peace so that my soul can rest. I am so weary and I just want to rest."
I have.
You look for a different road to turn and there is no road at all. The desert wind blows sand in your face, and scours you mind and heart. You can't build here because when you try and lay the foundation for a shelter, the winds shift the sand and your walls come down. You are raw and broken, and so very tired.
So you continue to trudge through the drifts. Hoping, hoping so hard for a place to rest, for a green oasis where cool grass will refresh your eyes and cool water soothe your parched throat, and you can lie back and close your eyes in the shade for just a moment. Just until strength returns and your heart quiets. A place where all the world is quiet for just a moment and you can forget.
I only know of one thing to do but I still feel so defeated that even prayer seems a failure. Did you ever reach a place where you looked up to the face of God and said, "Let me rest. Let me just put my head here in your lap, for a little while, and rest. Give me peace so that my soul can rest. I am so weary and I just want to rest."
I have.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Some Days Life Is A Challenge
I am on my lunch hour. Eating in the office. I hate doing that but the lunch was free and since they say there are no free lunches I thought I should take advantage of an apparent one.
I usually have to get out of the building because I need a break from the stress. Today, I am doing that by blogging. Have you seen how many I have done in three days. That is what stress will do to you! I said in a very early post that this was my opportunity to rant. I think I have proven it.
Did you ever get so sleepy that you could literally slide off your chair into a puddle? I feel that way now, after eating. That is not a good thing. I have metabolic disorder called insulin resistance. Not diabetes ... yet. It is a precursor. I think it is getting worse but can't be sure. I take a medicine called metformin that aids in insulin utilization. I could tell the difference immedialy after I started taking it. But now, some days, I don't know.
Diet is a major factor in diabetes. I try not to eat a lot of sweets, but I do eat some. Sadly, despite what the "experts" would have you believe, it is NOT cheaper to buy foods that are good for you than it is to buy food that are bad for you. You go try and buy ground beef. The leaner the meat the higher the price. And go try and buy a sugar free desert item. Higher than the one with sugar. Try buying fresh fruit and vegetables. Way more than canned and the cheapest canned is nasty! We all know that the nutritional value of canned is very poor when compared to fresh. So, if you have a metabolic disorder they would rather you be on medicine... which cost more than food!
My biggest problem is not enough physical exercise. I need to move! But there are too many things I want to do, too many thoughts I want to think, too many books I want to read! I don't have time to exercise. And then there is sleep. I just never get enough, ergo, I am sleepy at noon!
So, today I am trying to stay awake, think positive, and get a lot of stuff done. Some days life is a challenge, isn't it?
I usually have to get out of the building because I need a break from the stress. Today, I am doing that by blogging. Have you seen how many I have done in three days. That is what stress will do to you! I said in a very early post that this was my opportunity to rant. I think I have proven it.
Did you ever get so sleepy that you could literally slide off your chair into a puddle? I feel that way now, after eating. That is not a good thing. I have metabolic disorder called insulin resistance. Not diabetes ... yet. It is a precursor. I think it is getting worse but can't be sure. I take a medicine called metformin that aids in insulin utilization. I could tell the difference immedialy after I started taking it. But now, some days, I don't know.
Diet is a major factor in diabetes. I try not to eat a lot of sweets, but I do eat some. Sadly, despite what the "experts" would have you believe, it is NOT cheaper to buy foods that are good for you than it is to buy food that are bad for you. You go try and buy ground beef. The leaner the meat the higher the price. And go try and buy a sugar free desert item. Higher than the one with sugar. Try buying fresh fruit and vegetables. Way more than canned and the cheapest canned is nasty! We all know that the nutritional value of canned is very poor when compared to fresh. So, if you have a metabolic disorder they would rather you be on medicine... which cost more than food!
My biggest problem is not enough physical exercise. I need to move! But there are too many things I want to do, too many thoughts I want to think, too many books I want to read! I don't have time to exercise. And then there is sleep. I just never get enough, ergo, I am sleepy at noon!
So, today I am trying to stay awake, think positive, and get a lot of stuff done. Some days life is a challenge, isn't it?
Fitting End to an Unfit Day
It's over. Today, or rather yesterday now, is over. What a day. But in some respects it was good for me.
My little run in with my little co-worker was good. I was so distressed when that happened that I closed my office door and just prayed about it. I wanted to brain the brainless. But I prayed. And moments later I got an email from a wonderful lady that gave me some comfort even though she had no idea of what was happening.
I email her back and told her that her message had helped me and I explained, much briefer than I explained below, what had happened. I asked her to keep me in her prayers. I went back to work.
In the mean time, later that afternoon, another co-worker came and told me that she had asked the thoughtless one "what was that all about". Co-worker #1 told co-worker #2 that she had made a mistake. She had failed to read an email that would have explained what was going on. Of course she could have asked but she didn't. DUH! Did she come to me and say she was sorry for her behavior? No. I guess that would make her look bad.
Will she apologize? She might. This is not the first time she has done something like this. This is the third such incident with her in the last six months. She did apologize once before. Even if she doesn't forgiveness is required but I doubt I will ever see her the same way again. How foolish people are and how careless of the things that should be valued. Until recently, I had considered this coworker a friend. Today proved how much she thought of me.
Ten minutes after this happened I checked my email and I had a reply from my email friend. She told me she had prayed for me immediately. She had even written her prayer in the email and sent it to me. And the issue, for me anyway, was already resolved before I knew she had prayed over it.
Needless to say, but I will, I sent her a quick reply to say that God is good! And confirmation of His control is wonderful when you are stressed. I needed that confirmation to lift up a very beaten spirit.
God IS good.... all the time.
My little run in with my little co-worker was good. I was so distressed when that happened that I closed my office door and just prayed about it. I wanted to brain the brainless. But I prayed. And moments later I got an email from a wonderful lady that gave me some comfort even though she had no idea of what was happening.
I email her back and told her that her message had helped me and I explained, much briefer than I explained below, what had happened. I asked her to keep me in her prayers. I went back to work.
In the mean time, later that afternoon, another co-worker came and told me that she had asked the thoughtless one "what was that all about". Co-worker #1 told co-worker #2 that she had made a mistake. She had failed to read an email that would have explained what was going on. Of course she could have asked but she didn't. DUH! Did she come to me and say she was sorry for her behavior? No. I guess that would make her look bad.
Will she apologize? She might. This is not the first time she has done something like this. This is the third such incident with her in the last six months. She did apologize once before. Even if she doesn't forgiveness is required but I doubt I will ever see her the same way again. How foolish people are and how careless of the things that should be valued. Until recently, I had considered this coworker a friend. Today proved how much she thought of me.
Ten minutes after this happened I checked my email and I had a reply from my email friend. She told me she had prayed for me immediately. She had even written her prayer in the email and sent it to me. And the issue, for me anyway, was already resolved before I knew she had prayed over it.
Needless to say, but I will, I sent her a quick reply to say that God is good! And confirmation of His control is wonderful when you are stressed. I needed that confirmation to lift up a very beaten spirit.
God IS good.... all the time.
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