Tuesday, January 21, 2014

What Happened to the Happy New Year?

I am off today. They actually did the hours cut at last. We'll be off work every third Tuesday without pay. They've got the money so screwed up that they can't figure out how to fix it so, we are cut one hour a day and one Tuesday a month. Of course, you still have to do the same amount of work. I'm feeling very Egyptian. You know, bricks without straw? They would really like us all to quit so they don't have to pay unemployment. That way they could hire all new staff at lower wages and benefits. 

I've had a pretty horrible month actually. I don't know if I mentioned I've had a bad bout with my rheumatoid arthritis for several months. Maybe I did. I'm too lazy to go re-read. Anyway, I did. Pain and swelling everywhere and even the doctor was shocked. Demanded I go on the metheltrexate. I did. Yes, it was that bad. I've resisted that med for at least a year. I just started my third refill. Very little pain, no apparent swelling and still have most of my hair. It is coming out at an alarming rate but it has been for awhile. 

We went to my son's wedding in Arkansas on January 10 and came back on January 12. I think I already told this. My wedding anniversary was on January 11, the day of my son's wedding. Jerry and I would have been married 40 years that day... if he'd lived. He didn't. For David's wedding I was sick during the whole thing with pain in my neck. The meds had helped most of my pain but not that neck pain. 

Once home the neck pain worsened. I only realized a few days later that the lymph gland in the left side of my neck was swollen and agonizingly painful. When I looked in the mirror I could see that side of my neck was noticeably larger than the right side. I'd been having that pain for over a week, even had it go numb several times. I now think it was pressing on a nerve and caused that. I don't know why it is swelled but swollen glands are a sign of inflammation somewhere in the body. Nothing I could do. I called the doctor last Thursday and I'm to go in this Thursday to see her. Yesterday, it was so painful I finally put heat on it. Not sure if that was a good idea but I just needed some relief. It felt good while it lasted. Wish I'd done it sooner but it is very hard to define the pain around my neck these days. I can't tell what is spine pain and what is fibro. And both trigger massive migraines. All three respond to different treatments, each of which do not affect the other pain. So I end up in so much pain and confused as to how to treat it. But as usual, the gland is not swollen today. 

I want to go see the Hobbit movie. I don't have anyone to go see it with so if I get to see it I'll probably go alone. I am beginning to stay in more and more these days. I tried, really I did, to get out and do things on my own. I just don't want to. There really is no pleasure in it for me. This weekend, with my four days off I have sat on the sofa and watched t.v. shows on Netflix and Hulu. I did some cleaning on Saturday. And I did have a writer's meeting on Saturday and that is always nice. It is about the only time I actually see people I know and like. Today, I'm supposed to have lunch with my friend, Loriane but it snowed overnight so not sure how the roads are between here and the restaurant. 

I've been writing more on one of my novels. Probably the only good thing about isolation is that if you can stay focused, you can write a lot. I'm surprised more prisoners don't become authors. 

I'm going to get clothes on now. I've begun to wear those flannel pj's all the time at home. I was almost tempted to go to the store last night in them but decided to change. I just wanted a soda and my coat is long enough no one would have noticed but I have to keep some shred of dignity. So I put on a skirt and went to Sonic and then the convenience store up the street. As it turned out, there was virtually no one there but the clerk and they wouldn't have seen me anyway.

Now to see how cold it really is out there. Weather monitor says 21 degrees. I hate this place. I'm so sick of the cold, the rotten weather, the bad air, and the summer smother. They have two seasons that are bearable here, spring and fall. Everything else is rotten. 

Stay warm. 


  1. There are many ways that we are in a similar situation, Cyn. It's too bad we live so far away from each other. Have you tried acupuncture? ?? Just curious.

    I don't mind the cold but I don't like being cold, if that makes sense. Still, you have the advantage of your granddaughter being so close. What a lovely blessing she is.


  2. She is why I stay. Not sure I'd survive without seeing her.

    I'm going to check on acupuncture. I don't think either insurance will cover it.