The Most Valuable Commodity You Possess

And talk like no one is listening, because they aren't. No, they aren't. They're on their phones.

Did you look around your house over the holiday? I did and it shocked me. Fortunately, the whole week wasn't like that and we had a really good time. But it got me thinking.

I remembered holidays when my family was living at home. We talked, watched parades, football, played games, cooked and ate together amid conversations. We might even go see the Christmas lights together and actually look at them.

We didn't sit around with an electronic device in our hands, hunched over trying to see what the latest gossip was with our friends and extended family. If we were lucky, much of the extended family was with us and carrying on live conversations, playing with the children, or each other.

On November 2nd I downloaded something called Rescue Time. It is a computer app that tracks how much time I spend doing things on my computer. I tell it what is productive and what is distracting. My results are disturbing. Of 333 hours logged since I started using it, 74.30 have been considered productive and 200 have been distracting. That is horrendous to me. That is time I can't ever put to use.

That is more than two weeks of my life spent doing nothing constructive. I've got my settings very strict so there may be a few things in there that you'd consider productive. It wasn't. I like reading blogs but there should be limits to the time spent doing that. I like Facebook but even I can see I'm wasting time.

Since December 28th I've spent 9 hrs watching shows or movies online. I've spent 13 on social networking of some sort. I've spent 8 on writing related items, mostly blogging. That's 30 hours, the equivalent of some jobs, in less than a week.

Because I live alone and have very few local contacts outside of my writing group, I spend a lot of time on the computer. But computers are opportunity thieves, as my results show. Time is a commodity that you control more than anything else in your life. Really. You can't stop it but you can direct it. We live in an age where there are amazing things that allow us to be creative and productive. And yet, we're spending unlimited time on our phones? Why? So we can send meaningless messages? Think about what you're texting and how long it is. Seriously.

I find text so impersonal and pointless that I don't bother to read them most of the time. They're either demands for something or instructions. I rarely text. If you get a text from me it will be to ask a question or answer one and sometimes, I will call rather than answer a question via text. Ask my family.

I also don't always answer text messages right away. More than once family have gotten annoyed and called me to ask, "Didn't you read my text message?" No, I didn't. One of my most recent text messages said, "Are you awake?" Another one asked for a ride. Isn't that so warm and comforting? So, what's my point?

Look around the room where you are and actually think about what is going on there. Are you reading this from a phone? From your computer? Right. Are there people in the room? What are they doing? Did you text them to ask them?

Most people are letting a wealth of time slip through their fingers, literally. Once gone, that time will  never come again. You can't recover it and you can't replace it. It is gone. And sometimes, unexpectedly, the person you could have shared that time with disappears forever.

My house is empty today. There is no one to talk to, have lunch with, play games with, read a book with, or watch a movie. I'm sitting here wishing Jerry was taking a nap in his chair. If he were here, we wouldn't be on our phones, I can promise you that.

Most of the time I have no one to share my time with, particularly at this time of year. I've started getting more involved with my writer friends, doing lunch or just meeting up to chat. However, I decided when I saw the Rescue Time reports that something more should change. Life is not confined to a 3x5 or 15 in. screen. 

Starting today I'll be scheduling Facebook time rather than just getting on and mindlessly staring at the screen. I'm considering removing the app from my phone but will wait until I see how my scheduling goes. It is not because I don't like checking on friends. It is also the only way I  hear from some of my family. But while I'm staring at the screen, life is happening in front of me. 

Sometimes, when I'm out I just sit and watch what is going on around me, like I did during Christmas. When was the last time you sat and just watched what was happening right in front of you, without looking at your phone for half an hour. When did you visit a restaurant with someone and not use your phone? When have you attended church and not looked at your phone for some or most of the service? When have you attended any function, a party, a wedding, a hospital room, a funeral and not played on your phone?

Think about this seriously. You spend priceless time reading a palm-sized screen and missed something important. You baby just made a face you will never see again. Your child just learned to do something and you missed the first time. I remember being in a night class when my oldest son was still crawling. My husband took care of him for me and when I got home that night Mike had started walking. It was both exciting and so disappointing. I had missed it. What did you miss today? How many days have you missed something important?

What a waste of life. I don't have many years left. In fact, none us us may have many years left. But I want those that remain to count for something more than a digital footprint.

Life is filled with unlimited and extremely valuable opportunities. You can't bank time and you can't have too much of it. Time is priceless. You'll never possess a single thing that is as valuable as time. Stop wasting the most valuable item you own. Stop missing life. When it stops, it is forever. 

Blessings To You

http://2015happynewyearimages.com

Wow, what a year it has been. I don't want to repeat it, thank you very much. I do want to send all of you blessings for the coming year. I pray for you to know peace and to see all your hopes fulfilled. I pray for you to know good health, happiness, and prosperity. I pray for you to know truth and for you to be filled with the light of grace. 

Thus saith the LORD, which maketh a way in the sea, and a path in the mighty 

waters; Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.

Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know

it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:16, 18-19

To all of you who are my contacts, my friends, and my family, thank you. Happy New Year to you all.

The Late Gift

Thirty-one years ago today I entered Baptist Memorial Hospital to have my youngest son. He was 10 days late and they decided I should get the tax-break by having him before the end of the year. They induced me at 9 a.m. and by 12:30 a late Christmas gift lay in my arms. And he was beautiful.

The years I spent raising my boys were the greatest years of my life. There was never a moment we did not enjoy being with them and sharing our lives with them. They went everywhere with us.

Michael, the oldest, was a sunny child but too busy to sit on my lap for more than a morning hug. He was everyone's baby. His exuberance and zest for life were nearly overwhelming and at times exhausting. He bounced out of bed every morning and bounced in at night. but I did have such fun with Mike. He was always smiling and full of questions.

David was a quiet and contented baby. I'd hear him giggling in his crib in the morning and when I'd peek over the rail, he greeted me with a smile and his arms reaching for me. There is no way to express what that is like. David was my baby. He was content to sit on a blanket and play with toys while Mike darted here and there.

I was so blessed to have these two beautiful boys and I could not have asked for a greater gift. They each have their own place in my heart, each gave me a different perspective on life. They have gifted me with laughter and memories that today make me wish I could do it all, every minute of it, over again.

Happy Birthday, David. You are such a bright light in my life.

A Post Christmas Post

After a hectic week of running to and fro, cooking for two days for an army (with the help of my oldest granddaughter), doing dishes resulting from said cooking (with the help of my daughter-in-law --DIL), washing towels for the army, and cleaning house after the troop evacuated, I now sit here to catch you up.

David and his family came in on the 19th and the house quickly felt as if it would explode. There were six of us in here. I marvel that I raised two boys and a dog in this house and sometimes had a sister in residence. A couple of times I had a son with a spouse and then a son, spouse and child. both times it was for more than a year. In less than 1200 square feet. But we did it and I don't recall ever feeling crowded. And yet, when holidays roll around and everyone is here the house feels as if it will explode and I with it. 

But it didn't and neither did I. We had a great time I think. The kids got along well, with only minor nitpicking here and there. The names are withheld to protect the innocent. Wait. There were no innocent children. Still, disputes were few and that's an amazing feat in so small a space. 

I'm a neat freak but with this many folks in a space, it is all but impossible. I know that the DIL washed dishes for two days and that was only what we used to cook. We used paper plates and plastic cups and utensils for eating. Had we not, well I shudder to think of the amount of dishes we'd have had to deal with. Someone needs a dishwasher... {sigh} and the money to buy it with. 

We decided to open gifts and do our dinner on Christmas Eve. My sister had to work Christmas Day. As it turned out, we were so exhausted on Christmas Day that had we been still cooking and gifting, we'd probably been overwhelmed. This way the kids got to play with the gifts, we could eat leftovers, and everyone could sit down and do nothing but relax. We went out in the afternoon so the DIL could take photos. 

On my way back home I stopped by the cemetery and stayed about 20 minutes. It was a beautiful day and the graves were lovely. The office building on the hill began to play Christmas carols at noon. This was a surprise and I just sat and listened to them for a long time. 

Perhaps this seems silly to a lot of people. I don't know if you can understand if you've never lost someone close to you. I know the person is no longer "there" just as they are no longer "here". But I was taught a sense of respect that is virtually non-existent now. My Mama used to say, "You will put me down there (a very rural cemetery) and forget about me." And she was right. We did. I am so far away I can't visit her grave. Yes, I have those memories but there is something about standing beside that grave that brings her closer. I'm never so close to Jerry as when I'm at the graveside. 

I supposed for some it is easy to walk away and forget those who die. Out of sight and out of mind is true. Eventually, you can't even recall the location of their grave. I've been away from Mama's so long I don't know if I can find my way back to that rural location. 

If you think it is foolish, good for you. When it is your turn to leave someone you love more than your life in a six foot hole in the ground among strangers, I hope it is that easy for you. Your time will come before you know it. I hope someone wants to stand beside your resting place and remember you. 

My upbringing was to respect and remember those who have gone and we do that by visiting and taking flowers or just standing beside them for a few moments and remember them. This doesn't take much. I used to go every day. Now, I go when I walk there. I visit on holidays -- his birthday, our anniversary, and on the days we had our children. There are memories we shared, half of which are buried in the ground and forgotten. I spend a few moments giving honor to the man who made those memories possible.  I don't intend to let him lie there forgotten. I do as I would have others do. When it is my turn, there will be no one to do the same for me. It is a dying ethic.

Where's the Revolution

Today's post resulted from these articles regarding Hillary Clinton. 

http://hotair.com/archives/2008/04/01/hillary-fired-for-lies-unethical-behavior-from-senate-job-former-boss/

http://conservativetribune.com/shocking-fact-hillary/

I'm always a little shocked by how gullible the electorate is and has always been. We take everyone at face value. It is an old tradition, or was between gentlemen, that a hand shake was a man's bond. Women always knew that this was a patent lie but we were rarely asked. But it did work to a degree. 

However, there is still this belief in the population that a person in public office should not be questioned, particularly if they belong to one's own party. It is unfortunate that no one investigated the Clintons long before they were elected. I simply mark it up to greasy palms. You grease enough of them and you can cover Mt. Everest. The truth is, that we've grown lazy and complacent with these kind of people. We figure "everyone's doing it" (some of us are too) and so what's the big deal. 

I'm sure there were people in Cuba at one point that really believed that Castro was a wonderful man. There still are. There were people who believe Chavez was a wonderful man. There were those who believed the Russian revolution was a great thing. All of those proved extremely false and devastating assumptions. 

I suspect that true or not, there will be those who will elect such people here. Why? Because ethics, integrity, and honesty are old fashioned ideas and accountability is considered abuse. No one is to be held accountable for their sins in the modern world. It is simply not acceptable to be ethical.

Revolution is just an election away at any time. If we viewed every election as a sort of revolution, we'd have no vested politicians and no chance of one. There would be a reshuffling of the deck every 4 years. 

It is important to keep in mind that real revolution means "change". Beware of those using the word change. What they really mean is revolution and not all revolutions are good, as Cuba, Venezuela, and Russia, to name a few, discovered.