Nervous Minister

A nervous young minister, new to the church, told the flock, "For my text today, I will take the words, 'And they fed five men with five thousand loaves of bread and two thousand fishes.'"

A member of the flock raised his hand and said, "That's not much of a trick. I could do that."

The minister didn't respond. However, the next Sunday he decided to repeat the text. This time he did it properly: "And they fed five thousand men with five loaves of bread and two fishes."

Smiling, the minister said to the noisy man, "Could you do that, Mr. Perkins?"

The member of the flock said, "I sure could."

"How would you do it?"

"With all the food I had left over from last Sunday!"

Six of One, Half Dozen of the Other

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I had fun reading this but at the end I had to laugh. America has Hollywood. England has the Royals.

Setting Sail

(You'll notice by the date that this was started a month ago. I suppose I saved it as a draft and forgot about it.)

My vacation turned into more of a bust than anticipated. The last five days were simply terrible because I was sick with some kind of cold or allergy. Tuesday I felt better than I had since I took off work nearly ten days before.

I had a bad time with this vacation. The first five days I could not get myself directed. I sat in this house and became more and more depressed until finally I had to get out. I went to the fabric store and bought patterns, fabric, and thread. I came home and managed to get two days of sewing before I practically collapsed with this cold. From Friday until Tuesday, I was more or less immobile. I couldn't breath. I sneezed and my nose ran. I wiped it so much it became raw. And my emotions became as raw as my nose. I cried for no reason and for every reason for days and nights.

I want to say I can't remember feeling so dark in spirit but that wouldn't be true. The last two and half years have been filled with days of such darkness that I don't want to remember. Keeping the blog has been a good thing in this respect. I have been able to go back in time in a way I would not have been able to had I not written it down. I don't go back often. There are some experiences you simply do not want to relive. But now and then, for some reason I find myself looking at entries from those darkest days. These last days have been very dark. I almost looked forward to going back to work.

The analogy has been with me for some time now of drifting on a huge ocean. In one post I mention islands of happiness in a sea of misery. It still holds true, at least for me.

Wednesday morning I was reading the daily devotional that is always near my chair but which I forget at times. I can't remember what I read at the moment but I remember the feeling that nothing makes sense to me anymore. I feel as if I'm adrift on a great sea and I have no idea which direction to steer. My ship, Life, seems to have come to a halt and the sails I set hang limply from the mast. The sea is glass. And as far as I can see, there is no land.

When you are drifting in the doldrums you have little to do except twiddle your thumbs. Blowing the sails will do you no good and only make you dizzy. You need a stiff breeze fill them up and push your bark forward. So, one searches for help in strange places. I went back to study the charts. In this case, my blogs.

Despite what you may think, I still believe that God is always in control. When the storm blows me off track, it is because there is some place I needed to go and my sails were set in another direction. We're creatures of habit and stubborn. Sometimes the only way we'll change our course is to be blown out of it. I believe I've been blown way off course. I've been struggling to chart a new one.

When one is far at sea there are no landmarks, no light houses. The ocean is a shifting landscape of waves and whitecaps, clouds and sky. When far from land, ancient mariners plotted by the stars. There were times, though, when there was no star to steer by, when the heavens were cloaked in darkness and the winds died and the ship was becalmed. And yet, even during the darkest of nights, when clouds hung heavy and there was no wind, the seamen knew that beyond the darkness, somewhere above, the North Star still hung steadfast in the heavens. They had only to wait for the return of the winds to sweep the heavens clear, look up, get their bearings, and sail on.

Stars and garters

Mama was a lady. She didn't curse. She didn't swear. She didn't even use what she called "by-words". Gosh, golly, darn, dang and shoot were forbidden. "WE" did not use such language. I still try and avoid them but I do slip on a couple of them. She didn't even say "swannee".

When something shocked Mama it was a "My stars!" I have no idea where she got it but it was the closest to a swear word I ever heard her say. Sometimes, she said "My stars and garters." In the newspapers when I was child there was a horoscope, on the comics page usually and it was titled "My Stars and Garters". It is the only other place I ever saw the term.

However, when I Googled it today to write this post in answer to Grammy's question, I found where it came from. And it makes so much sense that she used it. She could have heard the previous generation using it but she read widely and I wouldn't be surprised if she'd run across it somewhere that way. Here is the link:

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It shouldn't surprise anyone that the Southern part of the United States, during the 19th century had strong ties in England. Many there supported the "Recent Unpleasantness" and there were cultural exchanges. Manners, phrases, and some habits caught on among gentry who traveled and did business overseas. These filtered down to the lower classes. Those phrase, until Mama died, still popped up now and again among my family. Every once in awhile my British contacts make comments and references that I quite understand because I remember people saying the same or very similar things when I was a child.

Sadly, the people I know who kept using those quaint terms and expressions have all but disappeared from my life. So, occasionally, I trot out some of them. They are all I have left of a wonderful woman.

My stars and garters! Can you believe what you can find on Google!

Indiana Police Search for Missing College Student Lauren Spierer - FoxNews.com

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I do not know what is wrong with this world. Well, I do, but I can't fix it. Pray for them to find this girl. There is also one in N. Carolina that is missing, a nursing student. Went to get something from her car while working and never came back. These are not girls practicing risky behavior. They are, according to everyone, hardworking college students described as very good students, smart and pretty, well liked by everyone.

I honestly do not know what kind of mind it takes to do these things. Subhumans. Animals, and that's an insult to animals.

Sorry if that sounds harsh and uncharitable but these creatures are a blight on society and a disgrace to the human race.