The Day Dawned

Wednesday dawned sunny.. and a bit earlier. The solstice has come and gone, sending us downhill toward Spring. Or maybe uphill... I suppose it depends on your perspective. I'm hoping it is downhill because that is a faster trip.

It is amazing how a little sunshine can lift your spirits and that even a tiny lift is welcomed. I was on my way to work and wondering what was different about today. Then I said out loud, "THE SUN IS SHINNING! Thank the Lord!" Really, this is the gloomiest place on earth. The cloud cover is just horrible in the winter. In the last two years, I don't look at the weather map so much to see the weather as to determine if I'll get even a sliver of sunlight. I know there is a place to check how many days of sunlight we get but I can't remember where it is. I'll have to Google it and see. I'm betting we're only getting half a year.

I had very little leg pain yesterday and last night. I did get awakened by pain in my calf this morning. I do not know what causes this pain. It is inexplicable. My feelings are that some of my muscle pain is due to taking Lipitor but I know of no way to document that except it occurred after I took it. I had to go off because it caused memory loss, too.

I have a headache. I think some of these are caused by my high blood pressure. I take medicine but I don't think it is working at times. I'm supposed to take my readings every day for a while. I keep forgetting it! I do good for a couple of days and then I forgot again.Must do that habit thing and see if it works. It only takes a few minutes and there is no reason for me not to do it first thing in the morning.

All right, I'm going. I need to do the neck exercise and see it that will help. Then, work... always work.

Home for Lunch

I came home for lunch today because my usual lunch companion, Carolyn, is off from now until the new year. So, the rest of the week I am on my own for lunch.

I don't mind. I like coming home. I don't like eating sandwiches all the time but it doesn't matter really. I guess if I wanted to cook I could. I just like being at home where I can sit in the quiet and not think about anything but how badly the carpet needs cleaning.

I used ice on my back again last night and I also put it on my shoulder. I think it may have helped that a bit too. But boy my knees are really not good today.

There is a restlessness in me I can't define. I have a lot of things running through my head that I want to do but I can't seem to find the motivation to actually do them. I remember getting this way a long time ago and I'd start a project that kept me occupied for days. But everything seems to be something I shared with Jerry. It isn't the same not having him to talk to about what I'm doing.

It is crazy because I don't actually ever remember talking to him about my sewing, or writing, or crochet. I must have done because now it feels as if I am supposed to and can't. Or maybe it is because those things I could do with him sitting in the room with me and feel his presence even though we never said a word. I just don't know.

I'm going to pull out my crochet again. I have a couple of pieces I never finished that I could finish now. I could get a movie out and let it run while I work on it. Maybe the big thing is that I'm not organized. I let too many other distractions interfere. I do that with my writing, too.

No answers. Just speculation.

It's Morning . . . Again

Another day is done and I have this and two more before my holiday vacation. I must try the motto of the Little Engine That Could. "I think I can. I think I can."

Trouble is, vacations have a way of being far too short and not being as much fun as you first imagine they'll be... at least mine do. This year I do not know what I'll be doing. This is the first long Christmas vacation I've taken since Jerry died. I had one the Christmas before his death. O.k. we are not going there today.

I'm tired but I seem to have the leg pain to a level that I'm not tossing and turning all night and I'm able to move around without cringing or hobbling too much. My knees, however, are not happy at all with things. They are very bad this morning, both of them.

There is a trick to walking if you have a bad leg or hip. "Up with the good and down with the bad." This works brilliantly. . . unless you have two bad ones. Then, well, I don't have one for that. Sit down and scooch?

Well, into the mines, me hearties. I've got piles to shovel before I sleep.

The Man with No Feet

"I complained that I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet."

I met a young woman tonight who's five month old child was murdered this past year by the child's father. When she wrapped her arms around my petite Sarah I did not have to wonder what she was thinking.

What I have lived was hell on earth. I can't begin to imagine that hell.

Right now stop whatever you are doing and count every blessing you have... leave none out. And imagine tomorrow when you wake up that every single is one gone.

Don't you dare feel sorry for yourself for the next 24 hours.

Sunday

I'm home today. Didn't go to church. I had planned to go last night but my leg pain got to the point I thought I'd have to go to the hospital and beg for a shot. It was simply nearly impossible to walk. I made the mistake of going shopping and that just made it even worse.

I am positive this pain in my leg is sciaticia. Maybe not 100% but most of it. I sent a note to my pastor and asked them to pray for me. Then, at midnight last night I finally went to the freezer and took out my ice packs. I have several in there. I wrapped it in a small towel, stuck it in the band of my pj pants and went to bed. Once it thawed, I got another. My leg is better this morning, with little pain. I've been icing it again today. But most of the pain in my entire leg is gone. Still have some burning sensation in my calf but believe me, that is nothing.

I'm cooking my lunch, listening to Christmas music. I have the lights on my tree, my nativity put out. I still have the decorations to go but I thought I'd have help with that. Nope. So, I'll just have to do it on my own I guess.

At this point, I do not think I will bother with all this again. I've seen Sarah once. She could care less about the tree. She played with her doll house.

Last night I took her presents to her house for Christmas morning. Her mother was telling her and she wanted to know if she could open them. She told her not until Christmas Day or she's send them back. Sarah told her mother that Santa would be pissed.

No, I do not use that term. But apparently her parents do.

I just finished my lunch, which I prepared for myself, by myself. I don't care much to eat at home. I dislike cooking for myself. It is just a waste of time since I don't enjoy eating alone. I usually just eat a sandwich. Today I made some mixed veggies because I wanted some. And I fixed a piece of spicy chicken (Buffalo chicken strips by Tyson). It was . . . ok. Then I had M&M's.. dessert, ya know.

I still have a headache. So off to do the neck exercise or find something to stop this head/neck ache.

Only four days to work this week. YoooHOOO!

It took two hours to finish this entry!!