Some Improvement

Prayer, steroids, whatever. I say that because I have a mixed bag here. I believe in prayer but lately, my faith is pretty thin. You can only live with pain so long before you begin to wonder about the universe in general and God in particular. I understand suicides who were suffering from an illness or injury much better than I once did.

It is not hard to understand at all any more how someone can take their own life. I like to think I am stronger than that but I have to tell you, I'm not sure any of us are when it comes right down to it. I've heard of people who were Christians that committed suicide and wondered what could possibly have been so horrible that they'd do that. These last couple of years, I have an inkling. I don't want a clearer picture than that.

The pain is a bit better right now. I can tell that the stress in my back is building but the morning has been better than anticipated. I'm not standing up and screaming in pain the way I was Saturday night at midnight. I'm doing what I usually do... bearing it like a trooper. But it does hurt still. A very uncomfortable pain is the only way to describe it. As if something jabbed me or slammed across my back at shoulder blade height. My neck has begun to hurt but I think it is secondary to the back pain. I brought hot stuff to work and am going to put more on now. I used it this a.m. and it helped a bit.

I've moved the MRI up to tomorrow. The nurse at my Rheumatologist office called and suggested it because Monday is a holiday and Friday is a long way off. I wouldn't get the reading until Tuesday. I agreed and was fortunate to get it moved so close. I won't get a 4 day weekend but I will get a break in the middle of the work week. I really don't like missing a day at the end of the month but whatever it takes. I am to fast for four hours and the test takes a couple I think. This will not be fun at all! They are doing it first thing so that will be good. But it is very uncomfortable anyway. Be nice if they put me on my face but I suspect they won't. That helped when I had the breast MRI. When I'm done I'll have lunch.

Thank you all for the prayers and notes to let me know you were thinking about me and praying for me. I appreciate you all.

Nighty, Night, Night

I'm headed for bed. I've had less pain today than I had when I got up. They prayed for me at church and it did seem to get better by about 1 p.m. It has not stopped. I'm still wearing a pain patch at tonight. I can only wear them for 12 hours and I put it on at 7 p.m. But my pain for most of the day was about 50%. Last night I thought I was going to have to sleep standing up. It was the most horrible pain. Just a knife in my back and no relief. I finally put a patch on it and went to bed with a heating pad. I'm taking the steroid but so far it hasn't done any good that I can tell.

So, prayers are appreciated. I have pretty much prayed out. It feels as if there is no end to it.

I'm going to bed now and hope tomorrow or rather today is a brighter day. It rained earlier tonight and I hope the humidity is not completely horrible. Probably will be if it is very hot.

Been completely unable to write because I can't stay at the computer long enough. So much for that.

What Happened to 6:00 a.m.?

It came and went and I didn't notice! Amazing. I've been waking up at six every morning for a while now. I woke up at eight this morning.

And you will be glad to know, at least I hope so, that my back was less painful. I still have this terrible pain from one shoulder joint to the other across the top of my back. Hurts to look down but all the back pain is a bit easier. I'm not optimistic because this has happened a few weeks ago. The pain totally left but at least I didn't get up nearly screaming from it. I'm going to try to put this medicine on my back myself. They want it on four times a day but it is an oil based liquid that requires I lie down and have someone do it. Well, I have a few tricks. We'll see.

I seemed to have slept all night too without waking. I guess I was tired. If you haven't seen the album of last night's cook out you won't have seen the new flowers planted at the fountain. Only one of them looks sickly. I nearly lost that one before I got them in the ground. But those moss roses are just endlessly lovely. I wish I'd planted a whole yard of them.

Thank you all for your best wishes for Mike. I have not talked to them about it. He didn't even tell me himself. Had Becca do it. Does that tell you what an ogre I am? I turn purple and grow horns and warts on my head. OH, is is green? Sorry, green. Anyone notice how Shrek's horns are actually horns and not the kind of horn I always thought orger's grew? At any rate, whatever happens, I can no longer try and fix it or make it better. Mike has to do what he has to do. I can't keep cleaning up after him. She does seem very nice and easy going. I just wish they would get to know one another a bit better. And her children are absolutely so well behaved. In my business, that always gets high marks.

On another note. I just listened to Kevin Costner's statement to the congressional committee investigating the spill. If you haven't seen this, here is the link: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ynews/ynews_ts2851
A fix was available for such disasters and the industry ignores it! The oil is still pouring into the blue waters of the Gulf, turning them from aqua to brown and the beaches from my birthplace have been ruined. I can't get my head around that. Politics and greed.

The Weekend Begins

It appears that it will be a busy one. Mike announced this week he is getting married. Yes. You heard me. Her name is Rachael. She is here this weekend with her daughter, Arica and her son, Doug. I met her last week and the little girl. They all seem very nice and the children are very well behaved. Becca seems to get along with her like a house afire but then, it would be difficult not to get along with Becca I think. She's one of those kind of people. I think Rachael and she will enjoy one another's company. Mike's first wife was immediately jealous of Becca when Becca and David came home to live so it is nice to see that these two seem to genuinely hit it off from the start. They seem very much alike to me but that's just me.

We had a cookout again tonight and the misquotes ran us inside. Sarah thinks she's got a new sister and brother. She likes both the children. Arica has just stepped in and been a mother hen with Sarah and it is a bit of a relief for Becca and I both not to have to constantly play tag. We, of course adore Sarah but you can only play so much tag before you run out of steam... not Sarah, us!

I don't know if it will work out. I only know I'm not inclined to interfere this time. She's very different from the other one. And I hope that she loves him more and sincerely. He deserves something good.

I'm going to get a hot bath after I finish posting photos. Run over and see the albums from Memorial Day weekend. They were taken after my aunt and uncle left. And I have taken tonight at our cookout. In case anyone wondered, we love grilling outside. Dave really loves to cook on the grill and would cook everything in sight if you let him! So, we limit the quantity and let him grill away.

Mid-Week Catch-up

Tomorrow is the middle of the work week. I am supposed to see the rhuematologist.They are going to try and get Lyrica for me but I will have to try the neuroton first. I'll take it on the weekend and see how it does. If I get the least groggy I'm not talking it. I have to be able to work.

My back is terrible. The pain is no better and comes and goes at odd times.Nothing I do seems to help much or for long. Sitting all day is a killer.

I'm on my way to bed but wanted to stop in to see what was going on in the blog lands. Seems most are away doing things or going places. It is so hot I'm staying inside.

I am hoping that in the next week or so I'll be able to get a medicine that works to relieve some of this pain. I think the back pain is worse than any pain I've had so far. I can't get comfortable in any position. I'm not sleeping well at all because there is now no comfortable way to lie down.

Hope you all have a good end to the week.