I just realized that I've had virtually a whole week with minimal pain. Maybe that is why I've feeling better. My neck, shoulder and upper arm have given me the most problems. I had a couple of days I didn't feel well... runny nose, headache or just felt really tired. But all the other... virtually none.
Wonder how long that will last? The weather is wet and it is still raining. They say snow tonight but I am hoping not. The fact that two low pressure cells have blown thorough and I have little pain sort of blows a hole in my theory of low pressure contributing to the pain. Seriously, go back and browse the blogs. You'll see, despite the stress of the last three weeks that my complaints of pain seem to have bottomed out. I do think I had a back problem about two weeks ago but I really think that is because I was sitting too much at work. But if you ask me what is hurting right now.... the trapezoid muscle and neck to my jaw and cheek bone... all related. That's it.
I'm going to go get a hot shower. Then food. Then, I have about three shows I want to watch. I promised Kat I'd get online tonight around 8. Hope to do that too. I shall do it all enthroned on my bed.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Feeling the Rush!
Did you feel it? That gale force wind that just went through. Yes, that one! What a busy day! I'm nearly done. It is after four and I'm coming up on five with absolute joy.
I'm going home and clean up the dishes but first I have to stop off at the store and pick up some stuff for the writers' meeting. I was going to meet Doug for a sandwich before the meeting but too much to do! He invited the whole group but I think we all are rushing around to get things together and get to the meeting. His wife calls us Doug's Writer's Harem. LOL! She was a real sport about it. Not many women would be so gracious. Takes class to be that way, and in infinite trust. Lucky Doug. Lucky Sharon that she can trust him so much.
I'm feeling better this afternoon, although tired. But I always feel better when the group comes over. I'm lucky to have such a great group of friends. And for the next three weeks we have meetings! LOL, we may be sick of each other by then.... NOT!
Ok, got to go and get the desk organized before I go home. I can't stand coming in to a messy desk. I think somewhere in the photos you will find a photo of my office and my tidy desk. I can't function in all this piles of paper, files and .... junk!
Sometimes, I feel almost normal. I wish it would last.
I'm going home and clean up the dishes but first I have to stop off at the store and pick up some stuff for the writers' meeting. I was going to meet Doug for a sandwich before the meeting but too much to do! He invited the whole group but I think we all are rushing around to get things together and get to the meeting. His wife calls us Doug's Writer's Harem. LOL! She was a real sport about it. Not many women would be so gracious. Takes class to be that way, and in infinite trust. Lucky Doug. Lucky Sharon that she can trust him so much.
I'm feeling better this afternoon, although tired. But I always feel better when the group comes over. I'm lucky to have such a great group of friends. And for the next three weeks we have meetings! LOL, we may be sick of each other by then.... NOT!
Ok, got to go and get the desk organized before I go home. I can't stand coming in to a messy desk. I think somewhere in the photos you will find a photo of my office and my tidy desk. I can't function in all this piles of paper, files and .... junk!
Sometimes, I feel almost normal. I wish it would last.
The Masses
They will start arriving at 8 a.m. this morning. The good thing is that cold, rain, and snow tends to thin the crowd. One can only hope.
I'm not feeling very good this morning. I have a mild headache and am tired. I must have slept like a rock because I don't remember anything after I turned out the light. I was in bed by midnight. Tonight is write's meeting and once that is over I'm going to try to go to bed even earlier. But guess what? I woke up at 6:30. Before the clock. So early to bed, early to rise. I'm not healthy, wealthy or wise. You think it is too soon?
I really just don't feel very good. Runny nose is still giving me fits and my eyes are burning a lot. Not sure what that is but I think it is allergy related. I think the filter may need changing on the central unit. But it could be the RA or fibro.
Ok, work is calling. Got to get going. May not be back until tomorrow.
I'm not feeling very good this morning. I have a mild headache and am tired. I must have slept like a rock because I don't remember anything after I turned out the light. I was in bed by midnight. Tonight is write's meeting and once that is over I'm going to try to go to bed even earlier. But guess what? I woke up at 6:30. Before the clock. So early to bed, early to rise. I'm not healthy, wealthy or wise. You think it is too soon?
I really just don't feel very good. Runny nose is still giving me fits and my eyes are burning a lot. Not sure what that is but I think it is allergy related. I think the filter may need changing on the central unit. But it could be the RA or fibro.
Ok, work is calling. Got to get going. May not be back until tomorrow.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
End of the Work Day
It is winding down. I feel as if I've accomplished nothing. And yet, I've worked solid since I got here. I'm tired and ready to go home. I came in late because of the doctors' appointments. They are probably going to send me back to the orthopedic doctor about my shoulder. They think the pain I have in my arm now is related to the rotator cuff. {sigh} Am I really that old? EVERYTHING IS FALLING APART! Jerry used to say about some of our cars, "It is time to take the radiator cap off and drive a new car under it." I don't think that will happen here. Screw off my head and put a new body... I'm good with that but I'd like some work on the face.
Today I'm depressed. It is dark and gloomy and I'm not looking forward to going home alone. I'll spend my evening writing I think. Unless I spend it chatting or watching something on HULU. Read? I am not really able to do that now. I will be so glad when it gets warm and sunny. I saw pictures today of a sunlit wood and so wanted to take a walk. The nature preserve near my house is a lovely place to go but it would be a veritable bog and cold today.
I'm looking forward to my cruise, so much so I am wishing it was April.
Writer's Meeting is tomorrow night and I'll enjoy the company of my zany group. They are such fun to be around. What lifesavers they have been this last year. Without them and all of you I do not think I'd have survived this ordeal. Certainly not with any sanity intact.
Today I'm depressed. It is dark and gloomy and I'm not looking forward to going home alone. I'll spend my evening writing I think. Unless I spend it chatting or watching something on HULU. Read? I am not really able to do that now. I will be so glad when it gets warm and sunny. I saw pictures today of a sunlit wood and so wanted to take a walk. The nature preserve near my house is a lovely place to go but it would be a veritable bog and cold today.
I'm looking forward to my cruise, so much so I am wishing it was April.
Writer's Meeting is tomorrow night and I'll enjoy the company of my zany group. They are such fun to be around. What lifesavers they have been this last year. Without them and all of you I do not think I'd have survived this ordeal. Certainly not with any sanity intact.
Tuesday in Drab Rags
I do not believe it is another day swaddled in clouds. I'm heartily sick of them. Went back to work yesterday after my four day weekend. Not fun. I was dreading it and I found it just as tedious as I expected. Amazing how that happens.
I have a doctor's appointment this morning at the Rheumatologist at 8:40, and then I have physical therapy at 9:45. I hope the fist gets me in and out in a hurry. Last time I had to sit there for over an hour. This morning, I can't do that. And won't. Waste of my time if they can't get it together. Since they moved her office it is just not efficient.
My aunt and uncle left going home as I went to work yesterday. I missed them before they were out of sight. It is very hard every time they leave, anyone leaves. I do not know that I will ever get rid of this sense of emptiness and aimlessness.
They kept me occupied. Sarah kept us all occupied for a couple of days. She had a tea party on Saturday night with Poppy. I checked email several times over the course of the weekend and I had so many phone calls and emails and people coming on to chat with me I did not have much time to really think. That was a good thing. It felt as if I has all these friends stopping by all weekend. Sunday was so cold and there was so much ice everywhere that we didn't leave the house until noon to find food.
Now I have this hollow place in my chest. I do not think I will ever be able to close it. I could put both fists in it. It never goes away, never shrinks, never fades. It just exist.
Someone asked me a few days ago how I feel now. Odd that structure. Right now I'm depressed and want to crawl back into bed. I'm that way most mornings. I can't. No choices. Compounds the depression. Survival instincts are very hard to snuff out. In this case it would be homelessness and that is probably worse in some ways that death. I can't make it if I don't go to work. I've been very stressed there and it isn't helping. If I'd had any sense I'd have arranged a vacation but they'd have canceled it because of this software thing.
I am a rudderless ship, a kite whose tail isn't long enough, a feather in the wind. My aunt said I'm not getting enough sleep. Going to bed is also something of a chore. I lie there and think unless I'm so exhausted I fall asleep immediately. I'm taking my meds and probably should be in bed by ten. But I'd only be up earlier. This morning, I woke around 6:30 despite having gone to bed at midnight. I'm still not rested even though I am certain I slept hard. I don't think I turned over. I was still on my right side when I woke up. Probably not a restful sleep.
I didn't go to the Y. I have a cold and my nose was running and I've been sneezing. I finally got it under control but I still didn't feel up to snuff. I got on about 8 and wrote with Kat for a few hours. That is always good to keep my mind occupied and this was a bit different. We are working on a joint post. Very hard actually. We've laughed over how hard. If you are writing in first person in separate posts, you both can't do that in a joint post. One of you has to write third person. Kat decided she'd have to do it since I'd already started the post. I told her next time she could do the lead on it and I'd do third. But amazing how difficult it was for me to write my part of the scene and leave her to fill in the blanks without really knowing where it was going. And difficult for her too! Blind leading the blind kind of thing. You'll have to read it once we get it up. LOL, but it is going to be another day at least. We got the rough draft down but we are both certain it needs a review after we've slept on it. So, tonight we go over it again.
I"m off now to go to the doctor's early. Sorry I've been away so long. Just too much going on and honestly, I've been battling the depression and didn't know what to say that would be worth anything. Thank you to all my friend and anyone who popped in that wasn't on my list of contacts. Your notes and comments have been a comfort.
I have a doctor's appointment this morning at the Rheumatologist at 8:40, and then I have physical therapy at 9:45. I hope the fist gets me in and out in a hurry. Last time I had to sit there for over an hour. This morning, I can't do that. And won't. Waste of my time if they can't get it together. Since they moved her office it is just not efficient.
My aunt and uncle left going home as I went to work yesterday. I missed them before they were out of sight. It is very hard every time they leave, anyone leaves. I do not know that I will ever get rid of this sense of emptiness and aimlessness.
They kept me occupied. Sarah kept us all occupied for a couple of days. She had a tea party on Saturday night with Poppy. I checked email several times over the course of the weekend and I had so many phone calls and emails and people coming on to chat with me I did not have much time to really think. That was a good thing. It felt as if I has all these friends stopping by all weekend. Sunday was so cold and there was so much ice everywhere that we didn't leave the house until noon to find food.
Now I have this hollow place in my chest. I do not think I will ever be able to close it. I could put both fists in it. It never goes away, never shrinks, never fades. It just exist.
Someone asked me a few days ago how I feel now. Odd that structure. Right now I'm depressed and want to crawl back into bed. I'm that way most mornings. I can't. No choices. Compounds the depression. Survival instincts are very hard to snuff out. In this case it would be homelessness and that is probably worse in some ways that death. I can't make it if I don't go to work. I've been very stressed there and it isn't helping. If I'd had any sense I'd have arranged a vacation but they'd have canceled it because of this software thing.
I am a rudderless ship, a kite whose tail isn't long enough, a feather in the wind. My aunt said I'm not getting enough sleep. Going to bed is also something of a chore. I lie there and think unless I'm so exhausted I fall asleep immediately. I'm taking my meds and probably should be in bed by ten. But I'd only be up earlier. This morning, I woke around 6:30 despite having gone to bed at midnight. I'm still not rested even though I am certain I slept hard. I don't think I turned over. I was still on my right side when I woke up. Probably not a restful sleep.
I didn't go to the Y. I have a cold and my nose was running and I've been sneezing. I finally got it under control but I still didn't feel up to snuff. I got on about 8 and wrote with Kat for a few hours. That is always good to keep my mind occupied and this was a bit different. We are working on a joint post. Very hard actually. We've laughed over how hard. If you are writing in first person in separate posts, you both can't do that in a joint post. One of you has to write third person. Kat decided she'd have to do it since I'd already started the post. I told her next time she could do the lead on it and I'd do third. But amazing how difficult it was for me to write my part of the scene and leave her to fill in the blanks without really knowing where it was going. And difficult for her too! Blind leading the blind kind of thing. You'll have to read it once we get it up. LOL, but it is going to be another day at least. We got the rough draft down but we are both certain it needs a review after we've slept on it. So, tonight we go over it again.
I"m off now to go to the doctor's early. Sorry I've been away so long. Just too much going on and honestly, I've been battling the depression and didn't know what to say that would be worth anything. Thank you to all my friend and anyone who popped in that wasn't on my list of contacts. Your notes and comments have been a comfort.
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