A 360 Wanderer

I just started this Multiply thing and I think it may be just what I wanted! I've transfered some post from one of my other blogs, A Dixiegirl's Ramblings at Blogger to kind of give you an idea of what interest me.

There is another blog I have on Yahoo 360. In fact, it is why I am trying this out. They are about to change things on 360 and my experience so far is that they mess up something everytime they change things. A lot of us love 360 but I'm just tired of the hassel and lack of response. I've backed up my blog there and probably will be posting some of it here.

Now if I can talk my friends there into joining me here, I'll have every thing I want in my blog and my friends too!

Rules of Respect

I was cleaning a file today and ran across something I wrote when my sons were entering those troublesome teen years. For several years it was posted on my refrigerator and every time they got in trouble they had to read it aloud to me and review the one that applied to their situation.

Rules of Respect

1. Show courtesy to everyone. Please, Thank you, Sir, M’am, You’re welcome, and excuse me, are all keys that open doors. Everyone likes respect. You get what you give.
2. Ask first. Do not take something that is not yours. If you “borrow” without asking, it is stealing. Get permission
3. Wait your turn. Do not interrupt others when they are talking. Or, if you are not part of the conversation and need to speak to someone, “excuse me” is an appropriate way to get their attention if you have waited for several minutes.
4. Know who’s in charge. If you see a need or problem, do not give orders – find the person in charge and politely mention the problem. If you have not been put specifically in charge, allow the person in charge to give the orders.
5. Refuse to argue. Ask if you can quietly discuss the problem. The Bible says “a soft answer turneth away wrath.” Usually, it is hard to yell at someone who won’t yell back. After a while they get tired. Remember, sometimes it doesn’t work, especially if you have wrecked the car or broken curfew.
6. Allow the other person to be right. No one is right all the time but neither are they always wrong. YOU could be wrong. It is more embarrassing to loudly declare you’re right and be proven wrong than it is to keep your mouth shut and let others loudly declare when you are right.
7. Offer help. If someone is ill, physically unable to do a chore, or simply needs an extra pair of hands, offer to help. Do not wait to be asked. Offer kindly. If your help is refused, say nothing and allow them to do it themselves. If asked -- give your help to the best of your ability.
8. Respect other’s privacy. Do not ask questions about someone’s personal life unless it will affect you personally. For example: You do not need to know about someone’s sex life unless you plan to have sex with them. Do not tell secrets you have been told unless there is a danger involved or a crime. Do not listen in on others’ conversations uninvited. Do not tell something you have overheard in a private conversation. Would you want someone to tell your secrets?
9. Do unto others. If you want kindness, give it. If you want love, give it. If you want help, give it. If you want friendship, give it. If you want understanding, give it. If you want fairness, give it. If you want truth, give it. If you want joy, give it. If you want peace, give it. If you don’t want any of this, do nothing and you’ll get nothing.
10. Overlook the jerks. There will ALWAYS be someone who defies all of the above. And because of it, no matter what you do, it will never be enough or it will always be wrong – to them. Walk away and smile. If you have done your best and followed the rules, you have won anyway. Always, always, always let them go before you. When the axe falls, it will be their head that rolls.

You have been taught a set of values. If you choose to abandon these, we will not avert the consequences of your actions. If you get arrested, we will not bail you out; if you catch a disease, we cannot cure you or even get expensive medical care. Adult behavior requires adult responsibility. You are on your own when you set your own values and rules of behavior. If they conflict with our moral code, you must move out and support yourselves. We will still love you but we made our choices before you were born. We have not changed our minds since then and will not do so now. As a result, we may lose you but if we give in, not only will we lose you but we will also lose ourselves.

Today, when I found them and read them again, I realized that all the self-doubts I’ve had lately were foolish. I did do something right. I didn’t neglect the important things. They may not have stuck but I did the right thing. I can’t understand why the sons I raised became who and what they became but it is not my fault.

Down in the Dumps

Things are not good right now. There is this sense of hurtling toward something unseen. I've felt very down for a couple of days. There has been some family stress from several sides. I keep trying to back off and let it just move on without me but it simply follows me.

I went and joined the YMCA last night. My plan is to start working out again 3 days a week. That's the plan. I may go tomorrow and Monday and Tuesday since I am off until Wednesday. That might be good. I might feel better getting some exercise.

I think the problem is that I didn't have my pain meds for two days. I've been having more pain since yesterday and last night I was really depressed. Tonight I just feel tired.

Let's face it. I don't really know what the problem is and I'm just grasping. I'm going to get a hot bath, get some comfortable clothes on and I may just go to bed.

Fireworks On The Ohio

9-21-2007-23
Originally uploaded by Dixiegirl2007

This is just one of my 4th of July Fireworks photos taken on the river front. We had a wonderful time.

It was Sarah's first celebration of our Independance. I hope someday she will be celebrating the same event with her children, if not on the Ohio, then somewhere nice.

Honor Where Honor is Due

I have a dear friend who contacted me Saturday night to say that he has a medical problem and is retiring from his teaching position and moving back to his home state. I am truly devastated.

He was my writing teacher and he became one of my dearest friends. I met him in 1990 when Daddy died and I went to take an Anthropology test I had missed. It was my second year of college. He stood out in the hallway and evesdropped on my conversation because I was talking about writing. He was waiting to get something for his wife, who also took the Anthro class. He stepped brazenly into the room and told me to take his 400 level editorial writing class. I wasn't even a junior and didn't have any of the prerequisits. Yet, he followed me out of the building and dared me to take it anyway. I did and it changed me forever.

He isn't a Christian. I don't actually know if he is even a believer. He's never said so outright but my impression has always been he'd like to think there is nothing to faith or religion. But maybe he was really wanting to find a reason to believe. I don't really know. The few times I discussed religion or faith with him, he would want to debate the issue. This, as you all know from this blog, is not a debatable subject for me. So dealing with questions whose answers are entirely based on my faith was not something I wanted because ultimately it would come between our friendship. I had always felt that God had put this person in my path but there were many times I didn't have a clue as to why. He wasn't going to listen to me on the subject of faith.

So, I avoided that discussion. Only occassionally did some topic of religion come up and we would briefly discuss it but nothing in depth. He knows what I am. He told me the last time we had lunch, "I can't figure you out. How can a woman as intelligent as you be such a fanatic?" I think I just smiled. My opinion is that they are not mutually exclusive. You can be intelligent and believe in a loving Saviour and creator of the world.

He is a hard person to like. Gaining his friendship is one of the hardest things I've ever done. He would hate and deny this but when I first met him he had all these preconceived ideas of "religious nuts". I was immediately a "fanatic". He would make comments in class and watch for my reaction. Only once did he ever offend me and when I told him, he apologized. Since then, I've spent the better part of 17 years trying to shatter every one of those preconceptions. The friendship that has grown has been a blessing to me because it has taught me about me. I've learned to look beyond the surface. I found honesty, integrity, and sincerity in someone I'd not normally spend more than a few minutes on.

I know a little about his personal life here. He set these barriers and boundaries with his students that only a few could breach. I was priviledged to have scaled the wall. On occassion, there would be this glimpse of a funny, relaxed man who wanted to be liked. He hid behind the tough as nails newspaper man. Since I graduated nearly 10 years ago, we've met for lunch off and on and I would listen to what was going on with the students, his latest writing project, what was in his head. I don't think I actually did a lot of talking. It doesn't seem like it. Sometimes he would joke about religion in an attempt to bait me. I didn't usually bite and he would know to move to another subject.

And oh, what a teacher! I loved his writing classes. That funny outgoing man held sway in the classroom and most of his students adored him. Yet, he is a person who will tell you if your work is good or if it stinks. There will be no sugar coated words or sparing of your feelings. Just the Facts, m'am. And that is why he has a hard time with faith. It requires accepting as fact what one can't see.

It is because of him I truly began to write again, to believe that I could write. He told me I could. He told me I was the best writer to ever grace his classes. And because of his words, his honesty, an open wound that I had not realized was there was healed. He couldn't have known then about the emotional damage to a young girl by another thoughtless, stupid teacher many years ago that sent the young writer into hiding. My friend is a Teacher.

Now he is leaving. I realized, when I heard the words, that I would ultimately be friendless here in this city and because we come from opposite ends of the country, I will probably never see him again. It is so painful, that even now I cringe from the reality. Oh, I have "friends" and I love my church family but there is a place that this friend has carved in my heart that will be empty when he leaves. There are conversations and ideas that no one else will understand.

Saturday night I told him that God places people in our paths that we will need in our futures. I said it regarding someone who has helped him during this time but I meant it about me, too. God put this wonderful, stubborn person in my path because of what I needed. I hope I have impacted his life as much as he has mine. I have said many prayers for him - to find peace, to find God, to find faith. I don't know if he ever will. I will just keep praying.

I will miss you, my friend. I won't forget you because I have carved you in the palms of my hands. (Isa. 49:15)