How to Install a Faucet

Oh, the plans of mice and men... and women. I missed church this morning. We were up until after midnight trying to install sink/new faucet. My toothbrush was lying in a chair somewhere in the living room when I had to go find it to brush my teeth!

There is a story here, you know, that answer all the questions and puzzled looks you all have on your face right now.

Why so late putting in a faucet? Why a sink for a faucet? Why in a chair?

You see, somewhere in a mid-sized town in Indiana lives a family who do a lot of their own repair and remodeling on their house. There lives a man, and woman and two sons, one daughter-in-law and one adorable grandchild (photos are in albums)  in this modest ranch on a wedged- shaped lot near the railroad. Usually, it is the woman who leads on repairs with a whip at hand.

In this house, there are a bath and a half. Everyone bathes in the full bath. But the half bath belongs to the woman and she uses the full bath to . . . well, bathe. The sons also use the half bath for brushing teeth and other personal business.

For some time now the faucet has had a drip. The woman has commented on this and on the inching up of the water bill. In recent weeks, an attempt was made to replace the washer but apparently washers for this particular, relatively inexpensive Wal-mart faucet don't exist. (This is from the man of the house, you understand and may have no basis in fact.) So, it was reasoned that a new faucet was in order.

But it didn't happen.

For weeks.

Suddenly, the woman notices that, with the attempted repair, the drip is now a trickle and as this is the hot water side the water bill is now expected to become a six figure digit. The woman becomes more vocal but still doesn't use the whip. She does, however, point out how much this is going to actually cost the males in the house in the long run.

Numerous attempts were made to shut off the water at the valves under the sink. The woman and man have installed shut off valves all over the house with each plumbing job because when they moved in there were NONE! However, time has worked its vicious way with the knobs on said valves. In addition, the cabinet under this sink is small and they are in the back corner of the cabinet and difficult to reach so that a wrench can't be used. So, the water had to stay on.

And so it ran.

A plan was made to fix this issue with a brand new faucet on December 2, 2006. The day arrived. The woman even took the spouse, one son, her daughter-in-law and grandchild to lunch at their favorite Mexican restaurant. She went and bought a faucet but at Lowe's this time. However, it was nearly 6 by the time all the necessary running of Saturday was done. But that was plenty of time to install a simple faucet, right?

The sink in this bathroom was installed in the countertop from the bottom with clamps holding it level with the counter top. This is a most inefficient method to install a cast iron porcelain covered sink, by the way. They are very heavy, although this particular sink was very small, say a gallon and a half capacity. The area under it was extremely small and the bathroom itself is about the size of a 4x4 closet. However, the family actually has that special wrench to remove faucets from tight places.

The project begins. . . at 8:00 p.m.

The spouse begins to remove the clamps. Wife ask why? Obviously, spouse says, so I can put in the faucet. Wife says, "If you remove the clamps before you remove the plumbing, the sink will fall and you won't be able to do anything." After much arguing and waving of the whip, spouse relents. Wife points out that all plumbing work on this sink in the last 20 years has required removal of counter top with the sink attached. Spouse then relents amid vocal protest but with eyes on the whip.

Wife and spouse remove counter/sink. . . after he has shut off all water and disconnected all water lines and drains. Wife says, "I'm sick of that stupid sink. Every time we have to do anything in here we have to take the whole thing out." Faucet was replaced in the past, twice. And the weight of the sink, with the weight of the counter, is that of spouse. Or thereabouts. And this couple is not getting younger or stronger.

She eyes the cabinet and uses her personal measuring tape. She says, "Get the sink that is on the shelf in the garage." Remember, this is a family who does their own remodeling. They never discard any item that is still useful and may potentially be needed. There are two perfectly good bathroom sinks in the garage. One was purchased with a used cabinet and since it is an iron porcelain covered sink in great condition, it was kept. The other is a ceramic sink that doesn't need a counter and that was removed when a new cabinet was needed in the full bath and the old sink would not fit the cabinet. Fortunately, a lovely PLASTIC sink came with the new cabinet! We will not go over that particular repair project. Wife was NOT happy replacing a lovely ceramic sink with a plastic sink. However, she always has her eye on a bargain and saw the day when she would put the lovely ceramic sink in her bathroom and remove the ugly PINK mutation installed in her bathroom by some misguided soul in the past life of the house. So, it went to a safe place in the garage.

The lovely sink was brought out and cleaned up and set on the cabinet. The fit is just a little tight but by knocking out two back braces it dropped in. Yes, there is still support for the ratty old cabinet. We know what we are doing. Sink is removed and faucet put on and the flexible waterlines put on (another touch we have added everywhere). Then ceramic sink is placed in the cabinet. It is now after 11:00 p.m.

Spouse begins to connect water lines and a sound is heard from the nether regions. It sounds like, "Hoses are too short."

I hate it when that happens.

The ceramic sink is thicker than the counter top and bigger than the other sink so the water lines are about two inches too short. A conference is held.

Lowe's is closed. As are all plumbing stores. Spouse says, "I will have to go to Wal-mart."

Wife looks at daughter-in-law and says, "This is how every project goes in this house. Now you know why we hate starting them."

It was noted that spouse will take an inordinate amount of time to search for needed waterline and the family had not had a meal since 2 p.m. Number 2 son (#1 has been out for the evening) is convinced to go with spouse. He will drive spouse to Wal-mart and drop him off. #2 will then go purchase sustenance for the family at Sonic and then pick up spouse on the way back. It actually went smoothly. Food was not stone cold.

Unfortunately, Walmart did not have longer hoses.

It is now midnight. Family are fed but there is no water to bathe. They can't turn the water back on because they can't cap off the supply lines and the hot and cold valves don't work. Hot water valve knob is broken and post is rounded off. And you can't get a wrench back to it. Spouse goes back to Wal-mart to get something to cap the lines. He comes back with two plain brass faucets. There are no caps at Wal-mart. Wife doesn't think it occurred to him to buy valves to replace the old ones. She doesn't mention it because by now, she is not feeling very good and to do so would simply make everyone grumpy.

Spouse connects water lines to brass fixtures and water is shut off. However, wife's toothbrush is sitting in a chair in the living room along with everything else that was on the counter before it's demise. Ceramic sink is sitting in the living room floor with a new faucet attached. And then it was noted that the cold water hose was leaking. A bucket was located and place with hose hanging in it for the night.

Every toilet in the house has been without water for over four hours. . .two toilets, five people. You can do the math here. The family manages to get all the bathrooms functional and take their baths.

It is now approximately 3:00 a.m. and wife finally heads to bed. Just before she turn in she checks the leaking cold water hose. She studies the bucket, and check behind the drain. She sees the cold water shut off valve still has a knob. It is located directly behind the drain pipe and is nearly impossible to reach with a sink installed. Wife reaches down and turns the knob. The water shuts off. Leak fixed. She slept well.

Sunday morning dawned but no one saw it. Spouse is on his way to Lowe's for a longer hose.

I hate it when that happens.

NaNoWriMo

Well, I signed up. You can watch my progress... or lack of, by following this link.

http://www.nanowrimo.org/userinfo.php?uid=152098

The Shelter of the Ignorant

I have to share this. I do it because I probably have nothing better to write about today!
I have been pondering a statement made about me recently by someone who could not answer some questions I ask them. Actually, what happened was that I read something someone wrote and I wanted to know what they based their opinions on. Since I am intensely curious and nosey about everything, I asked.

Researcher that I am, I presented information to them that appeared to disagree with their opinion and asked them to explain how they got around it. Mind you, it was not MY opinion but documentation that directly conflicted with their opinion that I quoted. Their response was to make a statement about my "limited education". At first I got a bit irked because I was genuinely interested in their answers. I wanted to know where they were coming from and how they got there. Their “intelligent” response was that they became rude and resorted to name-calling.

I thought about it and, yes, I even prayed about it. I do not deliberately try and offend anyone and always feel it necessary to apologize. I try and present my beliefs and/or opinions with supporting facts and without personal attacks. I will usually answer every question truthfully, if I know. If I don't, I will say so.

Further thought let me to conclude that the truly intelligent person investigates and ask questions and when asked the how and why questions, will attempt to present their answers in a rational manner, even if they disagree with the questioner. But, if you don't actually have any answers, what do you do?

That was my answer. I would be tempted to retreat to the shelter of the ignorant.

I realized that when a person responds to questions with rudness and insults, it is ALWAYS because that person doesn't have the answers or they know they are wrong. They will either lie or they don't know and rather than tell the truth or show their ignorance, they retreat to the shelter of the ignorant -- denigration. Their gut reaction when unable to defend their position is to insult and belittle the challenger. It is an attempt to demoralize the individual and make them go away. This is how wars are started.
So, I thought some more. (You see how this works for me.)

The lack of a patch of parchment on the wall doesn't mean that the person asking the questions is "limited in education". Just because someone has a higher degree, say a PHD compared to a BA, means absolutely nothing in terms of intelligence or education. Crazy, huh?

You see, college is designed for a person who wishes to limit their education to one field, maybe two if you have nothing to do. The higher the degree, the more narrow and limited the knowledge. Yes, you get a general overview of other fields, but the focus of college education is the chosen vocation. College graduates are limited in their knowledge to the area they intend to focus on to make their living.

I know this because I have a college education. Frequently, I find that many college graduates can't carry on a conversation in anything but their specialty. They have moderate knowledge of mythology, history, literature, ancient cultures, anthropology, world religions, and major social movements. They are smart in one or two areas because they want to be. (Please no letters. I know you are all very smart and spent a lot of money on your degree. But that was a choice because the information you got is actually free at the library.)

Many self-educated people are brilliant and never attended college. Some of the greatest statesmen in American history were totally lacking in more than rudimentary education by today's standards, but they were readers. They read Blackstone's law, the Greek philosophers, the Bible, and any other book that passed their way. They could survive in the wilderness with no assistance. They built ships, houses, and roads. And they knew all about building nations. Yet they lacked a parchment. Their equivalent today is nowhere to be found.

Conclusion: "Schooling" doesn't necessarily equate with intelligence. The movers and shakers in history have not been social workers or doctors of anything. Yes, I know you serve a purpose but it is pretty limited in scope and people have to be sick to need you. How depressing. However, I’m sure we are all eternally grateful. Good job and all that.

I'm serious.

Back to ME. In light of all this thinking I was doing, I realized that I felt smart. (I didn't always feel that way.) I graduated with honors with a BA in history. I was invited to participate in an honors symposium of the college's brightest. I belong to the highest scholarship society in the country and their plaques are on the wall. I won awards in history and anthropology - their money paid my tuition. I was encouraged to go after a Master's degree.

However, why would I? Since I had always read everything from encyclopedias to references books for entertainment why would I want to spend +$60,000 for something I could get free? I only went to college in the first place because the current job market requires a person with a degree and I would hate working at Wal-Mart even more that I hate shopping there! And I actually hate working! I’d rather be reading something or learning something or writing something.

My only regret is that I didn't get my teaching certification because I love teaching children. But that meant two years of even more narrow education and that would bore me to tears. There is too much to learn to focus on one thing for 30 years.

Oh, you want to get rich? Ah.

So, what did my ratiocination reveal? I have to admit I considered responding to the brilliantly rude mind but after my thinking session a little voice in my ear said, "Why? Their reaction to your questions proved your point. You should be satisfied because.... you were right."

I smiled.

Oh wow, I love it when I'm right.

Note: Education is good, very, very good. But all the education in the world won't make you a nice person.

Weekend Update

I have been so busy that this blog has sort of fallen by the wayside. My Yahoo 360 blog, on the other hand, is what has kept me so busy. Well, in addition to my family. The new baby is adorable and sweet but one forgets how much work and how much noise they make!

This weekend, Sunday, we have her dedication service. My aunt & uncle are supposed to drive in from Georgia for the weekend and be there will us. It appears it will be Becca's mom and dad, me, Jerry, and Mike, Dave, Becca, my sister, my aunt & uncle. I don't think anyone else is coming but that is a a lot.

I am trying to get my house cleaned. Becca's mom is cleaning for me today. I will pay her to do it and she is really good at cleaning. She did it for me once before and it was so nice.

The weekend will be busy and noisy I suspect. We are awfully crowded because of Dave & Becca moving back in but we are managing. I had a new door put up in the den into the garage. The old one was in bad shape and wouldn't lock. Now all I need is a door on the den into the kitchen to give that room some privacy. We are going to put a new door on my bedroom and the one that is there is a good door (just doesn't match the ones I had to change out because they were shot). I am going to try and put the old door up in that den/kitchen entry. It will be just fine in there if it works.

My mother got out of the nursing home. She had been there a couple of months because she broke her leg. Shis 70 yrs old and has diabetes and a calcium deficiency in her bones. The leg broke in 5 places while they were trying to put pins in it so she was put in a nursing home to heal. They say she is fine.

Mike is doing well and is at the stage that he feels very angry with the ex-wife and says he is glad he is not married to her anymore. He says he realized it was the biggest mistake he ever made. I suspect it is the normal cycle of loss that most people feel. He is a very loyal person and very dedicated, even in the midst of his problems he remains loyal to those he loves.

I think what bothers him most is the manner in which she behaved. Sly, sneaky, and without any honest in her dealings. I reminded him when he said as much that I had told him BEFORE he married her that she was a liar and he wouldn't listen. He said he remembered and that he wished he has listened. Then he said, "I'm never going to do that again." But he probably will because he never sees anything bad in anyone until they nearly destroy him.

Well, gotta get busy now. Duty calls. Check out my 360 blog. The link it on the left.

Killing The Bug

The last Saturday of January 2002, I spent most of the day and all night looking for a bug. Not the nasty brown bugs that scurry for cover when you turn on the light, but a bug of a different color. However, this bug is harder to catch than the multi-legged kind.

The day started pretty well. I had it all planned. I was going to have everything done in time for church that night. Saturday’s are usually the only day I have to do laundry and clean house. It usually takes all day and part of the evening to get everything done. But we were in revival and I wanted to try and make it that night. Due to a variety of things, Thursday and Friday had been a wash. The week had not ended well and perhaps that should have been a warning.

Anyway, I planned to pay the bills and tally up the bank account so we could see where we stood financially the coming week. After all, Jerry got laid off that week and we were short an income. You don’t want to spend money until you know how much you have to spend, especially when there is less that there was the week before.

I sat down and began to work on the account but was rudely kicked out. A little box told me there was an error and if I could not resolve it I should contact the vendor. O.k. I turned the machine off and tried again. I didn’t even get into the program that time. It just locked up. So I turned it off again and tried again . . . several times. No luck. Now I was worried. Something was wrong and I could not figure out where. I read the error message carefully. It told me what it was and where it was, sort of. Actually, it gave me a bunch of numbers and letters arranged in meaningful clusters that made total sense . . . to a computer guru. (Guru: A person of great wisdom or extensive knowledge.) But again, it told me if the problem continued to contact the vendor.

I thought I might be able to work this out. I am fairly literate about computers. What I know I learned the hard way. I had a computer when there were no windows! I am one of the few ancient wise women who actually know what DOS stands for and how to use it if the need ever arises. Bill Gates will have to die first.

So, I uninstalled the program. After all, I could have a corrupted data file that was causing the crash. I reinstalled the program. I started to work, made a few entries and was booted out again. I scanned the drive. For the non-computer person, this means I ran a system check, not physically looked at it, to see if there were physical problems with the files or hard drive. There wasn’t. Next, I defragmented the drive. No it wasn’t broken. This means I told it to get itself organized, to put the files in a logical order that it could easily understand. Then I ran a virus scan to see if a bug had crept in. Nothing.

I uninstalled the program and reinstalled it . . . five times. Each time it locked up and wouldn’t let me in and if I was able to get in, it kicked me out. Something was VERY wrong. So I called my service technician. I got a woman. Great, I think, someone who speaks my language, shares my grief, and understands my frustrations. She asked me if I had virus software and if it was up to date. I said I did and explained what. She said I might have a virus it missed because I did not have an up-to-date version of the program. Hmmm. Then, she walked me through a process she said would fix the problem. I thanked her and hung up, happy that the problem was solved.

I started the program and got to work. Worked great. I thought I should print out the register, though, just in case something else went wrong. You can never be too careful with computers. I hit the print key. Up pops a window telling me I have an error. It tells me what it was and where it was, sort of. It wasn’t the same error. It was a new one.

Stupid woman. She didn’t actually sound very nice either. She had a cold, know-it-all voice. And she must not have had a clue or I wouldn’t be having another problem. And the system was not booting up correctly now, at all.

I called back. I got a man, who sounded like he was in a smoky room in Casablanca. He said something and I said, “Excuse me?” I could barely understand him. When we are able to finally communicate, which means I dredged up my Spanish class ears and put them on, I told him my problem.

He said, “Is all your data backed up?” I did like the way words rolled off his tongue.

“Well, sort of.” I said. That means not in the last six months. “Why do you ask?”

“You should back up all your data and reformat.”

There was a long, pregnant pause. I put my head in my hand. “Do you know how long it takes me to get everything back on after a format?”

“I understand,” he said.

“It takes weeks and I have a church newsletter to have out by next Sunday.”

He didn’t respond. Perhaps we had a bad connection. “What might be causing this?” I asked.

“It might be a virus that your software failed to catch.”

I sighed. He had read the note screen, of course. Stupid woman.

“Thank you,” I sighed again and hung up.

So, I began backing up data, stopping only to eat and take potty breaks. It took the better part of three hours to locate and backup all the data I had to save. It is a time consuming, boring, tedious process. You have to hunt down everything you think might be important and copy it to an external disk. Some things are easily found because you tell the computer where you want it stored. Sometimes programs store information where they want to store it, unless you order it not to. And sometimes they do it anyway!

Around 9:00 p.m. I was ready to reformat. At 3:00 a.m. I went to bed, secure in the knowledge that I had rooted out the bug. I had reinstalled all necessary software but I suspected the church newsletter was going to be late. I just hoped I would not be late for church in the morning!

I wasn’t, but I was dead on my feet. As long as we were standing I was fine but when I sat down, I wanted to curl up and snooze. But during the service a voice in my head began to speak. I grabbed my trusty notebook and pen and started to write.

“The computer is a great tool. You load it with all the necessary things to make it work efficiently and as long as you follow the operating procedures everything is great. Follow the manual and you can do a lot of great things that would take hours without a computer.

“You also have the Internet. It is a great resource, a place where tons of information is provided, usually free of charge. But there are a lot of hazards. You go out on the Web and there is always the risk of infection by a virus. Even though you may have an anti-virus program to protect you, a virus can get through and cause terrible damage, even a system crash. Then, you have to locate the problem and root it out. Sometimes the only alternative it to wipe everything out and start over.

“Infection can result without your knowing it. A virus can come in and attach itself to a file and secretly corrupt it so badly that the program no longer even works. Sometimes a virus has the ability to replicate and move to other programs until, suddenly, right in the middle of the most important thing the whole system comes crashing down. Some viruses have the power to totally wipe out everything on your system.

"The computer is like Christians and the Internet is like the world. Christians can cruise along in the world, unaware of their surroundings, secure that they are protected by their beliefs and faith. They move from place to place and at each stop, hidden viruses lie in wait. They attach themselves secretly and begin their work. Even though Christians are trusting in their “anti-virus” religious experience they can still be infected by the viruses lurking in the world.”

I stopped writing at that point. I understood the message. More importantly, I understood why my computer crashed that weekend.

Spiritual viruses lurk around every corner. Each person we meet, each place we go may have something waiting to infiltrate our minds and cause a system failure. And if we don’t detect it, we risk passing it on to someone else. Just because we are Spirit-filled Christians doesn’t mean we are impervious to contamination. It means we are supposed to be on guard, watching for those viruses that may attach, replicate, and corrupt us, and those around us.

Anti-virus programs are absolutely necessary for any computer that will be exchanging information with another computer. However, all anti-virus programs must be updated, usually weekly. Every day a new computer virus comes out and whole companies are devoted to developing applications that will stop them. As of January 25, 2002, my computer was protected against 58,571 viruses and as of November 5, 2005, my protection had reached 70,773. So too, do we need to keep our spiritual programming updated. What worked to get us through today may be useless tomorrow. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. – Matt. 6:34”

After I left church that Sunday, I ate lunch and went back to work on the computer. I stopped and went to church Sunday night. By then, my eyes were beginning to cross. When I got home I worked until midnight. Finally, I had had enough. I crawled off to bed. Monday morning could truly be called Black Monday. I missed four hours of work. I had a migraine coming to call and I was soooo tired. But the computer was working. However, I still had days of work to do.

The bug is dead and my anti-virus program is running. I hope it is working.

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