Some Days I Feel Just Like This

OK Go - Here It Goes Again

August Thoughts

August... a majestic month. Fall is around the corner. Sarah Cheyenne is just weeks from her arrival. My birthday is about 8 weeks away while Jerry's is days away.

I am exhausted and frustrated and just plain ticked off at everything. I am again trying to find money to cover expenses and expenses keep rising. Although, gas has dropped a few cents. I have been praying for that.

Yes, I believe God answers prayer. I also believe if enough people with right attitudes and motives, pray for something, God will hear and answer.

It is Saturday and I just finished paying the bills. I have been moving money around like a high financier for a bankrupt company. I am about to go to the grocery store where I am sure I will have a mild heartattack about the price of eggs or some such staple.

Rethinking Men

Thursday and Landlord orientation day for me. I have to talk to landlords and tell them all about the housing program. It starts at 3:30 and last about 90 minutes. Oh joy!

I still have not gone to lunch and I am just about to leave. I wanted to jot something here just because it is BLANK today. I have a book in my purse that I am reading (for the last several weeks). The fact that I have not finished it is due in part to my schedule for leisure things and because it really is a silly book. I don' t like romance books that masquerade as mysteries. Just because there is a mystery in a romance novel doesn't make it a mystery. If this guy tells me one more time how adorable her chin is and how kissable her lips are and how charming her smile is I am going to puke.

Please tell me that real women do not read this trash and long for men to drool on them that way. I like being told how nice I look. I like to hear my name. I like to hear how brilliant I am. I even like hearing when someone thinks I am attractive. But when a man tells me I am beautiful, I simply wonder what he wants in return. I just don't buy it.

For goodness sake, do you guys really sit and think about how very sweet a woman looks when she bats her eyes? Do you really think about how much you would love to brush that curl off her forehead? Is it really in you mind constantly how utterly adorable she is when she giggles?

I don't think so. Tell me I'm wrong. Please. I will be forced to rethink my whole concept of men.

Clouds Rolling In

Halfway through the week and I feel as if it will never pass. I have to work tomorrow night but I don't know about after that. I don't really want to do this part-time job but I am so desperate for the money.

I really keep hoping something will turn up and I will get this insane windfall. Of course, my logical brain says that is the biggest joke ever but, well, hope springs eternal, right?

I am still trying to figure out what I am doing here. Part of me says it is ludicrous and another part says just do it for the fun of it. Tonight... doesn't seem fun anymore.

I will be grandma in about 6 weeks or less. Becca has been sick with again and tonight we think she has the flu that the rest of us have had only it is not quiet as severe. For that I am glad.

I will exit now. I have to work tomorrow for at least 11 hours. Someone should probably put me on their prayer list. I need the prayer. My family needs it, too. Things are not too good.

Until They Vanish

I walk beside you along the beach
While the laughing waves follow,
And wash the signs of our passing
Until they vanish.

We toss our dreams out on the breeze
To watch them soar up and away,
Unaware of how far dreams may travel,
Until they vanish.

As the sun sinks beneath restless waves
The sand grows cool to our feet,
And stars dance across the night sky
Until they vanish.