They will bury my coworker on Saturday. The week has been difficult for all of us. I keep thinking that she will pop in with her big grin and say "Ok guys, I was just joking." We are all having similar feelings I think. We talk about it a lot and I guess that helps.
I have discovered several things that I was unaware of. There was no food in the house. She was losing weight because she had nothing to eat. Between the two of them they made $70000 a year. How does a pregnant woman starve to death with that kind of money? How does she die if she is cared for and loved?
He was giving her $500 a month as his "share" of expenses out of $40,000. Her salary of $30,000 a year supported two adults, and her child, his daughter, and their child and all household expenses and debts. He ran up her credit card when they married and she had him removed. She had refused to put him on the house purchase or her car. He had no credit at all.
He was spending his money on golf clubs, trips with buddies, and gambling on the boat. In fact, he had a golf trip planned during the time she was due to deliver. Felt he should go since it "was scheduled a long time ago." He was also the beneficiary on her life insurance. The day they found her the power company showed up to turn off the lights. Her father gave money to her friends and they went and paid the light bill.
She left no will because who dies at 31? But she died in her sleep, probably hungry and most definately alone.
Take care of your children. Take care of your few possessions. And for God's sake, take care of yourself. Tell someone if you are suffering for any reason. And then, if there is a special "other" in your life, take care of them.
Please make a will, even if you are only 18 and have nothing but an iPod. Please designate more than one person as your executor. Make sure the person you appoint is controlled in what they do on your behalf. Do not assume that the person you love will be capable of or will even want to have your best interest in mind.
If I sound cynical, I am. I trust no one. Everyone is potentially self serving. Thankfully, this story doesn't happen often but it happens enough.
Be safe, be healthy, but most of all be happy. If you aren't, tell someone immediately.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Monday, June 26, 2006
The Unexpected
I am home sick today and a friend at worked called to tell me another co-worker had been found dead at home. She was 31 and pregnant with twins, has a baby about a year old, a 6-year-old and a step-daughter she just sent to college. Her husband came home from work and found her dead in her bed. It appears she died in her sleep.
On Thursday she was telling us that something was wrong but she didn't know what. She had trouble sleeping because when she lay on one side she couldn't breath. She also had a history of seizures, not the grand mal seizures, small ones that you wouldn't know she was having unless you recognized that kind of thing. She took medicine except when she was pregnant.
My guess is she either had a seizure or something happened related to the pregnancy. She has not been able to take her seizure medicine for a long time, not since she was pregnant with the last baby. She got pregnant with the twins when the other baby was only 6 months old and she was supposed to have the twins at the end of July.
I am so sad about this. I think because she was so young and those tiny babies who never had a chance. The two children she left behind, the step-daughter who called her mom all wondering what happened. I know everyone will know once an autopsy is done but still, I don't think that answers the questions we often have when a young person dies.
Life is a treasure, filled with unexpected hearthaches and joys. Sometimes the unexpected happens.
On Thursday she was telling us that something was wrong but she didn't know what. She had trouble sleeping because when she lay on one side she couldn't breath. She also had a history of seizures, not the grand mal seizures, small ones that you wouldn't know she was having unless you recognized that kind of thing. She took medicine except when she was pregnant.
My guess is she either had a seizure or something happened related to the pregnancy. She has not been able to take her seizure medicine for a long time, not since she was pregnant with the last baby. She got pregnant with the twins when the other baby was only 6 months old and she was supposed to have the twins at the end of July.
I am so sad about this. I think because she was so young and those tiny babies who never had a chance. The two children she left behind, the step-daughter who called her mom all wondering what happened. I know everyone will know once an autopsy is done but still, I don't think that answers the questions we often have when a young person dies.
Life is a treasure, filled with unexpected hearthaches and joys. Sometimes the unexpected happens.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Free Evening....Maybe
Wow. I had a very productive time at work! Got CAUGHT UP! Current is so cool. I got a whole 10.5 hrs this week and about the same last week. That will pay a bill!
Do I seem a bit excited? I hate working two jobs but I am so tired of the money problems I just about can't stand it.
Someone did get the cobwebs down while I was working, by the way. Imagine that.
Well, I won't give you any more whine and cheese. Free the rest of the day. Now if I can just get people out of my hair. I might have a nice evening.
Yeah, right, like that is gonna happen.
Do I seem a bit excited? I hate working two jobs but I am so tired of the money problems I just about can't stand it.
Someone did get the cobwebs down while I was working, by the way. Imagine that.
Well, I won't give you any more whine and cheese. Free the rest of the day. Now if I can just get people out of my hair. I might have a nice evening.
Yeah, right, like that is gonna happen.
Cobwebs and Candor
Saturday, yippee! Yeah, right. Not.
I have a horrible lower back ache and no clue as to why. I have to go have blood work done and since I have NO veins that won't be fun either. Then, I have to go to my second job and spend the afternoon working. I have not got time to clean house or do any of the things I need or want to do. I would love to sit here and write. I would love to clean the cobwebs hanging from the ceiling of my bedroom.
I am so PO'd.
I came in from the day job at five yesterday. Now remember, I have to be at the second job at six. My unemployed husband says, what do you want for supper? This is two nights in a row. I come home and I am supposed to figure out what is for supper, get it cooked, and get to work by six.
This morning I pointed out that during the down times when he is trying to figure out what to do around here he might like to sweep out the cobwebs from the bedroom. He looks and says, "The whole house needs it.
I looked back at him and say, "Gee, ya think?"
He didn't like it.
I have a horrible lower back ache and no clue as to why. I have to go have blood work done and since I have NO veins that won't be fun either. Then, I have to go to my second job and spend the afternoon working. I have not got time to clean house or do any of the things I need or want to do. I would love to sit here and write. I would love to clean the cobwebs hanging from the ceiling of my bedroom.
I am so PO'd.
I came in from the day job at five yesterday. Now remember, I have to be at the second job at six. My unemployed husband says, what do you want for supper? This is two nights in a row. I come home and I am supposed to figure out what is for supper, get it cooked, and get to work by six.
This morning I pointed out that during the down times when he is trying to figure out what to do around here he might like to sweep out the cobwebs from the bedroom. He looks and says, "The whole house needs it.
I looked back at him and say, "Gee, ya think?"
He didn't like it.
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