Dreaming

I used to have the most vivid dreams. They say we dream in black and white but I dreamed in color and I'd have the most interesting dreams. I stopped dreaming years ago for a very long time. I don't know why but probably due to my sleep disorder. To dream, you actually have to sleep well.

Not dreaming can't be good. They say it helps you work out problems and frustrations in your waking life. I think that is true and I miss my vivid dreams. Perhaps I still dream and they're just not memorable. After they started treating me for the sleep apnea I did start to have a few dreams but not very memorable ones or very vivid.

Until last night. I dreamed and the dream stuck with me after I woke up. It was quite vivid and for some reason disturbed me. It might be because there was so much confusion in the dream. Even now, as I write this post, I'm confused by it. Some of it fades but fortunately, I wrote it down. You can see it is filled with confusion.

In my dream I was going to a funeral, I think. I thought I was with someone (Daddy) and when I parked the car I told them I could find it when I came out. Then I was alone inside a huge church packed with black people and I thought a black person was dead. They all had on white hats and I remember they were singing but not the song.

At first, I was seated toward the back and high up but then I was near the front left on the end of the pew and two white women were seated on my right. The nearest was blond or gray haired. Beyond them were two people I knew, Loraine and Joseph. They used to live in town and moved to Nashville. I didn't know why they were in the church. Or my dream.

I suddenly had a tablet and had turned it on. I don't know why I had it but I was listening to something and the woman next to me told me to turn it off. She was very rude and then the woman next to her was snarling to turn it off. I was frustrated at getting caught with it on, even though I didn't understand why it was on in church. I told them I was trying to shut it down but didn't know how. I finally got it off but the woman said something ugly to me but I don't know what. She pointed out that Loraine and Joseph left and said it was my fault. I could see them walking up the sloping aisle of the church.

I started to leave but went back to tell the woman that she didn't know anything about me, who I was or what I'd been thru and then I felt bad for being nasty to her. I said that I didn't know her either and was sorry for being disruptive and left.

Outside it was pitch black but I saw Loraine and Joseph driving away. I was surrounded by woods. Cars were parked willy nilly around the woods and I couldn't find mine. I was getting panicky, using the emergency button on my key, hoping to set off the car alarm so I could find my car. I felt there were people going to their cars but didn't see anyone. I remembered telling someone I could find my car again.

Then it was daytime and the building was surrounded by parking areas. There was a creek and beyond it a parking area. In the light, I could see that there were parking areas all around. I kept walking trying to find my car, pointing the key and pushing the button. 

Then, I was on the street and it was lined with cars. I walked a moment or two and turned into another parking area. I stopped and dug out my phone and told someone to call home (who?) but saw it had all these games on it. 

I started deleting them until I realized I needed to call home and ask where the car was. Then I realized I didn't have my phone. It looked very weird with a small screen and was a pink color. I didn't know whose phone it was but I knew mine was in my purse. I handed the phone to someone (?) and began to dig in my purse.

I woke up.