Wednesday Week's End

It has been raining all night and is still raining. Not an auspicious beginning to a holiday.

I will be off four days after today. Thank goodness. I have so much to do. We're thinking we may cook after all... I don't really want to but not everyone will be able to be together. Phyllis has to work until 3 p.m. I thought David had to work too but last night he said not so if he doesn't then we will go to lunch at 4 p.m. That would work. But if he works, he would go in at 2 p.m. You can see the dilemma.

I slept terribly. Since I've stopped the melatonin I'm not sleeping as well. I am going to give it a couple of weeks. I can tell I'm not as depressed or as anxious. However, I'm exhausted. Once thorough thanksgiving, I can try and taper off the St John's wort for the depression. If that works, then I can try the doxepin again to help me sleep. I'll just have to take it very early in the afternoon. I'd forgotten I did that to combat the hangover the next morning. If all goes well, I should be able to sleep and not have that terrible anxiety and depressive episodes. One thing at a time, however, right now sleep is a problem.

I still have my cold and feel lousy. Sore throat and cough. I have a headache, too. Sleep could and is probably a factor in that. I am trying to drink a lot of water since I've been taking a cold medicine. They tend to dehydrate you.

Last night I kept waking up. I don't know the times but since the mornings are always dark I have trouble keeping track of it. I do not use a lighted dial clock. If you have a sleep disorder you don't use lights of any kind in your sleeping area. Anyway, I went to bed about 12:30 and woke around 2 a.m. Then, sometime later I woke again and went to the bathroom thinking it was around 5:30. I was very groggy and everything was hurting. When I got back to bed I hit the clock and the voice told me it was around 3:30 a.m.! I got up at just after 7 a.m. for work. I could barely do that.

I am hoping they let us go early today. Our executive director has left the agency and she used to let us go around noon on the last work day of holiday weeks. I'm not expecting it this year... not for my department.

I have not been writing anything. This cold has kept me down for over a week now. And I felt as if I was in a minor flare with the fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis. Pain has been higher, particularly at night, as the weather has changed.

Becca asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Nothing. I can't think of anything I want or need. All that I would have is beyond reach. I do not feel any sense of the holiday season. I don't care to go shopping. I don't care to celebrate anything. I suppose I'm thankful for my family, my home, and my job. But I can't honestly say I care about celebrating anything.

My house guest will be here for the weekend and I am looking forward to that. I'm going to buy some hot chocolate to get read for a nice long chat. I will reveal all later. One must have some secrets to make this blog a bit interesting and keep people reading.

I'm at work and so probably should get back to it. It will be a long slow day for all of us with the rain.People won't come in much and work slows to a crawl because you don't want to start a big project before a holiday and have to interrupt it.

With that, I will leave you now. More later....