Friday, May 2, 2008

Week End!

It has been a busy week and actually, a fairly good one. The weather had been nice and I've been relatively pain free. Work was very busy and hectic all week and I came home tired most night but there is no rest for the weary. I had company nearly ever evening until nearly 10. Last night was the first night this week I could call my own. I ate supper and read a bit but I still was midnight getting to bed. Just can't seem to break that cycle.

Tonight, I am hoping for a repeat!

Alice emailed me wondering where I was and saying she was suffering withdrawal because I had not posted anything lately. I tell you, I've just been so tired I couldn't think of anything at all. This post is apt to be so boring you'll fall asleep in about 10 words.

It has rained all day here and I suspect that means that the yard work for tomorrow is a no go. I still have a couple of hedges to clear and the grass will need another mowing. But with all this wet, it will be impossible. Typical.

I am going to try and finish a chapter of Mist, Alice. I began working on it this week, actually. I know you have missed it. I seem to have fallen into a slump for several months now and it has been difficult to break out. But I am putting an extra effort into it.

Well, the pizza has arrived and I am going to pop it in the oven. Store bought, not delivery. I'll be back later, I am sure.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off To Work I Go!

The weather turned cold overnight last night and I had to close the windows. Tonight, I've had to close the windows and turn on the heat. The wind is out of the north and quite chilly. It is 53 degrees. I just got home from church, got my bath and while my hair is drying, I am writing this post.

The weekend has come to a close and I am exhausted and having problems with pain. I did too much, I fear. I worked yesterday in my yard, raking the grass and bagging it, and cutting the overgrown hedges down and dragging it to the street to be hauled away.

I still have three hedges left and a truck load of cuttings but I did as much as I could. Some of the limbs had grown to a three inches in diameter because I was not able to cut them last year. My oldest son came out to help when my daughter-in-law shamed him into it. Little Sarah helped with bagging the grass and her mommie helped and hauled them to the street too. My yard looks so much better so I can deal with the side effects. My younger son says he will come and haul out the rest tomorrow after work. He worked Saturday so could not be here to help.

I do love working in my yard. I don't have flower beds and such but it is a large yard. Sarah, as small as she is, can play in that great big yard for hours and probably not walk the same area twice. We bought this house because of the big yard, in 1990, when the youngest was 7. We bought a trampoline, a basketball goal, a children's pool, and some sand. They played out there all the time. A few times we considered selling out and leaving but I truly love my home, delipated though it has become, and my yard is so private that I doubt I'd be happier somewhere else.

I do hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. I am not feeling great but I it was a lovely weekend and worth the price.

Friday, April 25, 2008

High Alert!

It is the WEEKEND! Now get out there and enjoy it!

I am on my way to Sam's Club to get a couple of rotisserie chickens for supper, pick up Becca and Sarah and sit on the patio and watch her play.

Hope you all have a sunny, dry, cool weekend! I may blog more later but maybe not. . .

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

545 People - A Political Statement

I got this in my email today. I have no idea if this is, in fact, written by Charlie Reese. I don't know if the statement at the end is true. If Charlie Reese didn't write it, I apologize to the author and ask that you let me know who you are so I can give you the highest credit. This is the best political statement I've ever read!

This is the simplest, most understandable and truest explanation of the woes of the nation and who caused them, as well as how to cure them. This should be sent to every person in the U.S., including the "545".


"545 People"
by Charlie Reese:

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don't control monetary policy, The Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court justices - 545 human beings out of the 300 million - are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered but private central bank.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall.

No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.

The president can only propose a budget.

He cannot force the Congress to accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.

Who is the speaker of the House?

She is the leader of the majority party.

She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want.

If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts - of incompetence and irresponsibility.

I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people.

When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.

If the Marines are in IRAQ, it's because they want them in IRAQ.

If gas is high, it's because they won't drill off Florida or in Alaska.

If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power.

Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do. Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power.

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

FYI: Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.




Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Glass Houses and Environmental Garbage

Check out this page learn more about what Mr. Gore is doing to help conserve energy and "go green".
Glass Houses

"People who live in glass houses should not throw stones."
Remember what I said about leaders and followers? If he can't follow his own plan, what makes him an expert?

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Count the Gumballs - Illegal Immigration

I seem to have started a debate with my Patriots video. It has broadened in to the subject of illegal immigration and the pros and cons of illegal immigrants. Incidentally, there is no PRO. in allowing law breakers to become citizens. We have enough criminals as it is and once you allow one law to be broken, you open the door for others. Never mind the simple fact that the American economy can't support the shear volumn of people we are expected to support. Who do you think is going to pay the bill.

Ginger, more people, means LESS food, regardless of who's farming. You are looking at potential famine in a country already struggling to balance its budget and pay its bills. Add a million or two and their children and you have not seen the economic nightmare.

You are talking about more money spent to house, educate, feed, and give medical treatment to for FREE. I work in a government agency that doesn't have enough funds to assist CITIZENS with housing assistance so they won't have to live in shelters. You're telling me we should add a couple of million more low income families to the mix so they can come in and push honest legal citizens into homeless shelters?

Because that is what will happen. THERE IS NO MONEY TO SUPPORT THEM. Low income is low income and the greater the numbers of low income families, the more money that is required from the taxpayer to support them with food, shelter, education and medical. The middle class is paying for free housing, free medical, free food for low income families and believe me when I say we are being forced to cut people off every year because the Federal government can't provide more money. HUD cuts housing assistance ever single year by 10% at least.

So, those of you who think you have nothing to worry about should know the facts. Number speak for themselves. If you are pro illegal immigration you should be aware of what YOU will lose by allowing the numbers to continue. You are going to pay people, never think for one minute that there is anything way at all you will benefit from this. Sorry, Ginger, you better plant a garden cause you aren't going to be able to afford to feed your own family and you will pay for their college while all those illegals get to go tuition free!

And don't think for one minute they will continue to work for those menial wages, hon. Once they become citizens they will form unions, strike for higher wages, better housing, and better working conditions... the things accorded legal citizens. And the owner will continue to hire illegal immigrants because they can't afford to hire citizens! That is where your logic breaks down. You think it will be solved by legalization but if the farm owners wanted legal citizens they'd hire them. They don't want them for the very reason you state the illegals should be made citizens.

Learn to count, folks. Watch the gumballs.


Test Run

Sunday aftrernoon ended up sunny and warm. Go figure. My weed garden is too high to go out and enjoy it.

Why is it too high, you ask? Because you can't mow in the stinking rain. It rains a week and the weeds grow another 5 inches and then on Sunday, when I am too exhausted to mow and have two church services, it is sunny.

So, soon I shall be surrounded by giant ragweed and other assorted nuisances. I will be overcome with allergies. I truly think when all humanity is extince ( probably soon) that the planet, if it still stands, will simply become a huge nursery fro every ugly plant on the planet.

Personally, I'm a Christian and we believe the earth will be consumed by fire. Hmmm, wonder if I can do a test run in my yard?

The muse has abandoned me and I have to get dressed for service.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Amusing Animations

Every once in awhile, I find something or my dad sends me something that is so amusing I want to share it. The following is one of those things. I couldn't put it in the video section so I've had to blog it. After you watch the first, you will find the second even funnier. Have fun.

Animator vs. Animation


Animator vs. Animation by *alanbecker on deviantART


Animator vs. Animation II


Animator vs. Animation II by *alanbecker on deviantART

Friday, April 18, 2008

Whole Lotta Shaken

I slept through the whole thing. Really, I did. My husband called from his job at 4 a.m. to wake me up and say, "We just had an earthquake."

Ah, the sleep of the just.

I don't get a lot of rest and so, to be awakened from a wonderful sound sleep is quite annoying. I raised my head and looked around. The roof was still on, the wall still standing, and the windows unbroken. In the darkness, as near as I could tell, everything looked ok. I lay back down and went back to sleep until 7 a.m.

I did feel the aftershock around 10 a.m. and it freaked me out far more. I am on the bottom floor of a 10 story Public Housing building that is probably 30 years old or more. It felt as if the building was skating for about 5 seconds. I had this image of the top floor swaying but I can't be sure of that. I only know that in that five seconds I realized the impact those 10 floors would have should the shaking continue. There was no time to react.

So all that earthquake preparedness stuff is just junk. There is no time to get out of a building when the shaking starts. I am two offices away from an exit but that 10 floors will fall a lot faster than I could run, I suspect. And once out that door, I am in a large parking lot where I am sure a large amount of the brick, cement, and metal will end up. I would have to make it to the street to be sure of being safe from a falling building. It would take all of two or three minutes to get there... If I were composed enough to run.

The mid-west got all shook up.

For those wondering, I am sitting in Southern Indiana, in the toe of the boot, right at top of the New Madrid zone. Not the best place on the planet to retire.

There was more than one quake in the United State on Friday. For more factual information on quakes around the globe on the 18th, check out the USGS site: USGS

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Up The Garden Path. . . to the Church

Three words, obtained from Writing Fix:
An apple
A church
A beggar

This is where they led me. It isn't finished as you will see. The begger has not made an entrance. This is actually part of something else but I thought I share. For the true writers, take the three words and see what they lead you.

Pastor Whitmore put his lunch on the desk beside his Bible. Martha packed his lunch every day, in the same kind of brown paper bag and folded the top down the three times. He knew exactly what was in the bag -- a sandwich of whole wheat bread with some kind of meat, a small bag of his favorite chips, and a bright, red apple. She provided a Stanley Thermos with ice, cold tea. Never failed. He was as certain of it as he was of his name. And tonight, when he got home, he would hand her the neatly folded bag and tell her what a wonderful lunch she had given him.

He sat down in the stuffed leather chair behind his desk. As he sat down, he echoed the long, tired sigh that only old chairs can produce. He put his head back and closed his eyes. Anyone looking in would think he was in prayer, with his elbows on the arms of his chair and his hands clasped under his chin. He knew they would because the church secretary, Kate Winsome, had thought just that when she had come into the office unexpectedly last week.

“Oh, Pastor, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I was just putting away the books. Please go on with your devotions and I’ll come back later.” She had turned on her heel and pulled the door shut with a quiet but firm snick.

For a moment he had been amused and thought about telling her he was only resting his eyes. And then the idea came to him. He could rest quietly in his chair and if anyone did pop in, they would never know he wasn’t praying. Of course, he seldom rested anyway and that is why he always needed to take these catnaps. He had not slept well in years. And after this last one, it had only gotten worse.

They had discovered the body of the missing woman yesterday. She had not been given a name. Of course, they would not be able to identify her for some time. But it didn’t matter. He would still not be able to sleep. Oh, he went to bed every night at the same time, just like the experts advised. He didn’t eat a big meal after six o’clock. He got up at the same time every day. His whole life was on a schedule right down to the number of times he went to the bathroom. He put his clothes on every day in exactly the same order. Pants first, then socks, then shirt, then shoes, then his tie and coat. Yes, everything was scheduled, everything but sleep.

He had tried all the sleep aids he had ever heard of, warm milk, over the counter pills designed to cause drowsiness, melatonin, and exercise. Yet, he was always tired. He had begun to crave rest the way an alcoholic craves a drink. It still evaded him, slipping off into the darkness that devoured his soul.

Portentous idnit'? Now, what next? Actually, I already know.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Getting To Know You... uh Me!

Welcome to the 2008 edition of getting to know your Friends. Change all the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to your friends including the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends that you might not have known!

1. What time did you get up this morning?
Get up every mornin' at 6:45 a.m. except Sat. & Sun. I don't usually go to bed until after midnight.

2. Diamonds or pearls?
Diamonds. I've learned as I get older they really are a girl's best friend.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
This must be British in origin. We don't do cinema... we go to the picture show... well, down south we do. Some go to the movies. The movies... hmmm, can't remember the last one. I don't do a lot of movies or television.

4. What is your favorite TV show?
See #3 but I like really good mysteries and a few sci-fi. And I like (gasp) Medium. Also, CSI, House, Star Gate (all varieties) If they all came on the same channel the same night, I'd watch t.v. once a week.

5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
Whatever I can fix in 15 minutes or my husband has already fixed. Grits, biscuits and gravy, sausage buscuit, cereal. I get up at 6:45 and have to be at work at 8.

6. What is your middle name?
I never tell that. My grandmother and I shared our middle names. She was beautiful but I am not really fond of the name.
7. What food do you dislike?
Not many . Southerners are taught to eat what is set before you and not complain. So, I like pretty much all food... except squash.

8. What is your favorite CD at moment?
Don't know the name but it is a Jackson Mass Choir cd of my son's. I love putting it in the car and cranking up the volumn. Church on wheels! He has another I like that I absolutly covet in a godly way; Alvin Slaughter!

9. What kind of car do you drive?
I drive what runs. At the moment it is a white Chevy Lumina that is about to die. I call it the Imminent Corpse.

10. Favorite sandwich?
See #7 I really love a good sandwich and am partial to ham and cheese. No sandwich is complete without French's Mustard. There is NO other mustard.

11. What characteristic do you despise?
Liars, bar none.

12. Favorite item of clothing?
Actually, probably this pair of sweats I am wearing. I get so cold and it hurts when I get cold. So, I wear them virtually all the time when I am home in the winter.

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Tahiti, my dream vacation. I keep asking God to bless me with a free trip and accomodations. I presume he is having difficulty with the travel arrangements.

14. Favorite brand of clothing?
Something that fits and makes me feel very sleek and together. I dont' care if it is Wal-mart chic or Saks class... as long as it is on sale.

15. Where would you retire to?
See #13. But that isn't exactly true, although nice to think about. I think I still want the cabin in the mountains or the cottage on the deserted beach. I'm trying to decide. Again, I' ve talked to God about it and I think he's having trouble deciding, too.

16. What was your most recent memorable birthday?
I don't have one... wait, my 6th. Uh, that wasn't recent but it is the only memorable one I have. I had a real party and I got a set of "luggage". Three little cases that nested. They were powder blue and had poodles on the top. I also got a gold bracelet from my father, whom I had not seen in over a year. At least, my grandmother said it was from him. I've since lost the bracelet in a move. I remember lots of children there but I have an impression I was "alone". Must be loads of meaning in that.

17. Favorite sport to watch?
Braves Baseball when they are actually playing Braves Baseball! Didn't watch a single game last year.

18. Farthest place you are sending this?
Have no idea. I don't ask where anyone is from. My family are all in the southern U.S. I will post it on the blog so I suspect world wide.

19. Person you expect to send it back first?
I place on expectations on anyone. I don't presume that if they don't respond they aren't friends

20. When is your birthday?
October 28

21. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Didn't you already ask me this? On, no different question. I am a nightowl. I hate getting up in the a.m.

22. What is your shoe size?
Size 8

23. Pets?
None since Sandy died. Don't want to think about another.

24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?
I'm breathing?

26. How are you today?
Rotten day . Woke with a migraine that turned into a nightmare. Took two Imitrex before I kicked it. Got so bad I thought I was going to vomt.

27. What is your favorite candy?
Peanut Butter Cups

28. What is your favorite flower?
All of them.

29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
Tomorrow - I figure it is always a blessing to see tomorrow.

30. What is your full name?
Now why would I need to give that out? Cynthia is my first name.

31. What are you listening to right NOW?
The clicking of the keyboard. The hum of the computer.

32. What was the last thing you ate?
Potted Meat sandwich. Poor man's pate'. Did you ever read what's in that stuff? Don't or you won't be able to eat it.

33. Do you wish on stars?
No, I just stare for hours at them when I can. I live in the city and stars are rarely seen.

34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Midnight blue

36. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Becca, the daughter-in-law that God blessed me with. I talk to her about a dozen times a day... she calls me.

37. Favorite soft drink?
Diet 7up or Diet Coke. Homemade lemonade

38. Favorite restaurant?
Anywhere someone else is buying.

39. Hair color?
Brownish-blondish whose blond has turned more and more to gray and left the dirty brown.

40. What was your favorite toy as a child?
books

41. Summer or winter?
Summer on the Gulf in Alabama

42. Hugs or kisses?
Why chose one?

43. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate

44. Coffee or tea?
iced tea or hazelnut coffee

45. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?
If they have time and want to

46. When was the last time you cried?
Seems like all the time but that can't be right

47. What is under your bed?
I think a body. But I don't know if they are coming or going. (dust thou are and to dust thou returnest)

48. What did you do last night?
Slept as much as possible.

49. What are you afraid of?
Not making it to heaven

50. How many years at your current job ?
10

51. Favorite day of the week?
Friday - I get out of Hell for two days!

52. How many towns have you lived in?
We aren' t even going to count those!

53. How many people will you send this too?
No idea

54. How many will respond?
Maybe none.

What A Mess

I hate politics and I despise politicians. I don't like even one of our candidates, even a little bit. As far as I can tell, they are all pretty much alike. They lie. They double-talk. They say one thing in New York and another in New Jersey and another in New Mexico.

What would happen if we had a political candidate who told the truth... all the time? He wouldn't get elected. Americans focus on their wants. I want to pay less taxes so I'll vote for this one. I want my closet full of guns, so I'll vote for this one. I want to marry my same sex partner so I'll vote for this one. I want to have an abortion when I'm 5 months pregnant so I'll vote for this one. I want free this and free that, I'll vote for that one. We vote for the person who we think will give us what we want, regardless of their ethics, morality, world view, or predjudices. We so misuse the greatest weapon on the planet. Probably because we are just as corrupt.

I hear people who do the same job as I do say they would lie and steal if they were the person across the desk! How can I believe you are trustworthy and ethical if you tell me that? NO WONDER WE GET IDIOTS FOR ELECTED OFFICIALS. LOOK WHOSE VOTING!

I don't even want to vote for the current crop! But as a citizen I will vote. It boils down to picking the lesser of three evils. If Obama is the candidate, I'll probably vote for McCain. If Hillary is, I might consider her and I don't even like the woman a little bit.

I was actually leaning toward Obama a bit but after the exposure of his religious affiliation, I can emphatically say "Not a chance." Any person who can sit under a racist pastor and not bat an eye or speak out against it WHEN IT IS HAPPENING rather than when he wants my vote would not be someone I can trust. His values are skewed. If a white political candidate were associated with such a person, they would be vilified and hounded to the ends of the earth. Their political career would be over. He may try and renounce it now but what was he doing on Sunday mornings when it was happening?

I am not naive enough to think my single vote will matter but I won't ever be accused of supporting that kind of person. Ethics are already lacking in much of America. If we truly believe we are all equal, there can be no association with people or organizations who spout racist propaganda. If you want me to treat you equally, you better maintain the standards of someone who actually supports and believes in equality. Attending racist sermons of bigots won't do it. Paying tithes to support the ministry of such a person tells me you are a dues paying member of the club. And I don't give a flying flip what color you are!

Caeser's wife had to be above reproach because her associations and actions reflected on Caeser. The associations of these candidates is NOT above reproach. The rest of the world may have forgotten White Water but I remember. The bottom line was -- they lied.

Am I a demoncrat or a reprobate? Neither, I am a Bible believing Christian who is disgusted by people who don't put the right principles first. I can't fix it but I don't have to like it.

I'll be praying about my vote. Praying for the courage to actually cast it!




Sunday, April 13, 2008

Old Glory and the Pledge of Allegiance

Alice O posted this under a previous blog "Social Statements vs Military Actions". I am posting it here because I feel it would be wise for every American, every legal resident and even the illegal residents to hear it. I don't presume they will all visit my blog but every person on American soil should understand exactly what it means to be an American. Until you do, you don't belong here.

This video is almost as old as me and it states in eloquent words what a loyal and dedicated American feels about our flag and our country.





"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all."


Saturday, April 12, 2008

Saturday In the Park. . . Not

Another Saturday has rolled around and I have more to do than the day will allow. I have my sister's taxes, my bank statments, my house to clean, and some junk that needs to go! I was planning on going to church tonight because Becca wanted to go. There is a visiting minister that she knows and wants to see. That means everying has to be done by 5:00 and I have to be ready for church by 6:00 and there by 7:00. It is now noon. I don't think everything is going to get done.

I'm really tired of never completing a task. I hate unfinished cleaning jobs, junk sitting in the floor that needing to be moved, bills piled up waiting for me to write the check, my desk is cluttered and laundry piled up.

You may ask why I have to do all this by myself. Because my husband, who works from 10-6 Thursday through Sunday can't seem to do any thing around the house when he is off. He manages to wash a load of dishes if I bitch loud enough. I don't own a dishwasher. See, my problem is I was a stay at home mom until 1989. After that, I managed to juggle all the housework, two small boys, and a full college class load. Once I went to work, I was able to juggle teenagers and work and housework. My husband has never felt I couldn't do it all and still thinks we have elves that could come out at night if we just wait long enough and keep quiet. I ask him to do something and he palms it off on my son who won't do anything he ask him. I can get my son to do certain things. It is all in the delivery. I have no idea why they can't stand each other. I told them both that if they can't get along down here they are going to have a real problem when they get to hell. Yes, I did.

I've realized I'm angry. It isn't fair that I do all the work, pay 75% of the bills, and manage the finances while he works less hours and sits asleep in a chair in front of the television. I am aware of his health issues but none of them involve chronic pain and limited mobility or an inabilty to sweep, wash dishes, make beds, or dust. He can't pee without a cathater and he has a problem with three fingers on one hand that are stiff because he dislocated them three years ago. But since he wouldn't do physical therapy, who cares.

My oldest son will be moving out. . . I hope, in two or three months. My sister's tenant abandoned the unit and Mike is coming up very soon for housing assistance. He can rent from her and be on his own. I don't want to take care of all these people anymore. I've told Mike he better keep this job, even if he had to scrub toilets. No more gas money after this month and no more car insurance from me. He needs both to work but I figure two months is plenty of backup until he gets started.

O.k. I never intended to make this a gripe session. It is what it is. I have things to do. I don't hear much from anyone anymore so I doubt many will even see this any way. I can limit access but it goes to Blogger anyway, so it doesn't matter.

The weather is cold again. So frustrating. A little sunshine, a little warm so we can wear cotton and then, it turns cold enough for a coat. I want to go home. I hate cold weather.

So, I'm off for lunch with Becca and Cheyenne. My treat, of course. Hope you all have a better Saturday and that I haven't spread too much gloom.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Social Statements VS Military Actions

It appears that the issue of the illegal flying of the Mexican flag above the American flag is not dead. Here is a comment from the video page I found quite interesting.

ginger1 wrote today at 12:24 PM
It is wrong to fly a mexican flag on top of the United States Flag. BUT what do you say when the americans have toppled Saddam Hussein, and the american soldier put an AMERICAN FLAG on the Iraqi soil ? The iraqi people were outrage and have KINDLY asked the american soldier to remove the american flag. Simply because the american soldier DID NOT KNOW that he is doing wrong. I won't be surprised if somebody would have told this mexican guy what he is doing is wrong. He would have put that flag down. Instead of humiliating him like that.

I always try and address such statements. In respect to the writer, I have quoted her exactly. My response follows:

I strongly suggest anyone questioning this do a thorough review of history. A conquering force flying their flag on conquered soil is very well documented in numerous wars throughout history. There are photos and paintings of it happening in many nations during wars.

During the American Revolution, Civil War and other military actions of other nations the conquering force removes the flag of the conquered force and replaces it with their own. It is common practice of military forces. Soldiers of ALL nations, typically place their flags on conquered soil. Review the tapes of other war actions and you will see the conquering force waving their flag over territory they have taken. When embassies are taken in combat or altercation, the conquering force hauls down the flag of that country and puts up their own. It is a statement that they have taken that ground in a fight. It is not unusual behavior at all. Just because someone whines about it doesn't mean their troops wouldn't do the same thing in a similar situation. They would. They have.

Whether it is right or wrong or illegal is unknown to me and since my position is not in regards to a war action, has no real interest for me. Suffice it to say, it is not isolated to American troops; it is common practice of every military organization on the planet.

Only America gets criticized for anything we do, until someone wants in our wallet, then we're best friends. However, citizens of any country have the right to complain about any action taken in their countries. Although their own governments might not be so liberal. I've no doubt that the Geneva Convention, the United Nations and NATO have clear guidelines of war time behavior and actions. The situations are not similar because my issue is not a war situation. Like it or not, Iraq is a war zone.

What is happening in the United States is not a conquering force taking ground in a military action, is it? Unless since I went to bed the illegals have declared war.

These people are not soldiers conquering a country.They are squatters and illegal residents breaking the laws of this country by being here and insulting the citizens and legal residents by such behavior. This is a social statement from criminals. If this person happens to be a legal resident, he is doubly insulting this nation. Since he feels such loyalty to his homeland, he should go back. We don't need him here.

What I find surprising is those who support illegal behavior. They often are the ones who yell the loudest when their civil rights are violated. The beauty of this country is that as long as you do it legally, you can say pretty much whatever you want . . .unless you are a WASP. There are legal, civil ways to express your gripe. Had it been only a Mexican flag flying over his restaurant, no one would have said a word. But he subordinated the emblem of the country that so graciously allowed him to have business here.

Incidentally, one should remember that several statements are indicated by these flag issues. The first being that they are going to take America away from its citizens. In the first instance I saw was an upside down American flag topped by an Mexican flag. The American flag flown upside down is a distress call. Ironic, isn't it? The second is that they hold no honor, respect, or loyalty to this country. They don't want to be Americans, they want to be Mexicans allowed to reap the benefits legal residents and citizens work for.

It is fortunate that as a result, any possible sympathy that any loyal Americans may have felt for the criminals is being quickly eroded by these actions.

I respect and welcome those who have struggled and come to this country honestly to make a better life for themselves and their families. They understand the value of being a legal citizen. I know several families personally and they are a credit to America. They take great pride in their citizenship status and they identify as an American but are still able to retain their ethnic identity. That is not who these people are and their actions prove that.

I hope to God there are more patriots.

And finally, the old childhood argument that "He did it first so I should be able to do it too!" is just silly. If the war time action were wrong, and we know this is common practice, it still would not make this issue right. As Mama said, "Two wrongs don't make a right."

I point out that when you are a guest in someone's home, you follow THEIR rules of behavior, regardless of what other people do. I may have a pig in my parlor but I certainly would behave better in theirs.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

The Week Begins

Spent the morning at church and then the afternoon with Sarah and Becca. Lovely weather meant we had to go "side". Sarah loves to walk! I hate walking! LOL! But we walked around and she ran. She then threw a hissy fit when we came back in.

Then she was down for a nap. We all overslept and had to rush to get to church. We were 30 minutes late but we only missed some singing and Bro. Nally's ordination. We got to hear some more singing and some wonderful preaching from Bro. Troy Johnson from Princeton. He is a Haven boy and came home for a visit to preach. It was truly a good message and one I needed to hear.

God has been sending me these little notices for about a week or so now and I've needed them. I've been asking for some direction and some answers. I've had an email and a blog say virtually the same things that this message said tonight. God has brought me to this place. It is only for a "hour". Bro Johnson used the text where Jesus told the mob who were arresting him that "this is your hour". Meaning that they were being allowed to do this but their power over him was not going to be long. He also talked about Jesus telling Judus to "do quickly" what he had to do. He said that this was again, Jesus warning those "powers" that their time was limited. I feel as if God has given me a few explanations and that is always a comfort.

As a side note, Bro Johnson was diagnosed with cancer last summer. Imagine how powerful this message was coming from someone battling such a great trial. I was astounded because I think I would be a basket case in his shoes.

So, thus ends my Sunday. am getting ready for bed. I hope all of you have a great week!

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Sunny Saturday

Today was a nice day over all. My pain was minimal and I had Sarah most of the day. My sister and I went to get her around 11:00 and we went to lunch together. Then Phyllis went to work and Sarah and I spent the afternoon together. We were out side for a bit and came in where upon she had a temper fit because she wanted to stay outside. She took a nap after about half an hour of fuss.

After a two hour quiet we picked up mom and brought her over. The rest of the afternoon, we spent in the yard and inside cleaning. Then, we took a supper break. I took them home at 9:30 and picked David up from work on the way.

I just talked to Becca and Miss Sarah crashed when she got home. She's down for the night.

I am on my way, too! Church tomorrow.

I've posted a set of photos from just before Easter until today.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Who Said That?

Friday has rolled around at last and I couldn't be happier. I got off 30 minutes early today and have only just managed to sit down to try an jot a few things on the blog. I've been rather silent lately. Too much going on, too little sleep, too much to much.

I've been popping in to those where I see some one has posted something but it would seem that everyone is rather silent at the moment. I wonder if weather elsewhere is better than here and you are all out frolicking in the sunshine. We don't have sunshine in S. Indiana at the moment.

In fact, we have far more water than we need. Flooding was a concern last night for some. I am, thankfully, on high ground but if those on the other side get flooded I'm trapped on a dead end street.

I've run out of ideas lately too. Usually, I have no problem finding some soapbox to jump on but lately, there is so much wrong that I find myself not wanting to talk about any of it. It is sort of like sensory overload.

I've been praying for God to make me nicer. I've become quite jaded in my world view and I never wanted to be that kind of person. I find myself annoyed at people's stupidity and I spend a lot of time talking to God when I am alone. The conversation goes something like this.

"I can't believe they did that. It is just too stupid!" I said.

God remains silent.

"How is it possible?"

Still no answer.

"Look I just want to know, was I ever that stupid? I mean, I never did anything like that. By the time I was their age, I was running my own household. Very well, too."

There is a rustling of white robes and a clearing of the throat.

"Well, yes, I remember that but it can't compare to this! Even I wouldn't be this stupid."

More silence.

Finally, I throw up my hands. "I'm just amazed at the amount of stupidity there is on the planet! I mean, if it could be packaged, we'd be able to make anything grow in the desert! We'd have bumper crops everywhere on the planet!"

"Yes, well, you're pretty good at shoveling the stuff."

I look around. Who said that?

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Patriots Still Exist

You know, this illegal immigrant thing is not getting the kind of outcry from citizens that it should be getting. We've been very passive in our actions and reactions. The criminals have been very vocal and completely unchallenged by the citizens of this country. Well, we're nice people and allow everyone free speech.

However, recent activity by foreign criminals has shown exactly what this passivity on our part has resulted in. This is becoming more and more common as we remain passive. I think now it the time to stop and I think the gentleman in this film is the clarion for that.

It is illegal to fly a foreign flag above an American flag on American soil. Yet, this is going on unchallenged. These people believe that the American citizens have no power to challenge their "rights" to squat in this country and flout our laws while dining on our largess. I'm sick of it. And I am sick of those people who disrespect my country but take money out of my pocket while breaking laws I have to follow. And crying prejudice and discrimination while doing it.

So, I urge you to forward this to every American citizen you know. I urge you to contact every congressman, senator and state legislator you possibly can. Flood their offices with calls, letters and email about this outrage. Demand that the immigration bill now proposed is stopped. We don't need this bunch of criminals here. If you don't want to become a loyal American citizen, GO HOME! We don't need your kind here.

If we remain quiet much longer, America will no longer exist and your rights as citizens will disappear. This has already begun. We've become fat and lazy because we've never had to fight to survive. Our parents and grandparents and great grandparents did that. You, this current generation are going to completely lose your identity. It is going to be subordinated to a foreign, criminal element. The actions of these people are telling you, "WE, illegal immigrants, are going to run this country."

Remain silent and passive and your children will be required to learn a foreign language and fly an foreign flag. If you can't open the attachment, watch it at the link above. To prove my point, they are now saying this man may be charged with a crime!

Friday, March 28, 2008

Is There Anyone Out There?

Do you ever feel as if you are standing in an open field and all around you is absolutely nothing and on the horizon you see roiling black clouds that are quickly overtaking your position. Lightening bolts slash and slice across and through them and strike the ground beneath. You feel the electricity in the air and a strong wind carries the sent of ozone. A terrible storm is approaching.

You know you must run and warn others of what is coming and yet, you can't move. You feel as if you are so far out into this wilderness with no means of communication that will be effective and you want to shout a warning to the top of your voice but it becomes completely lost in the vast surroundings in which you find yourself. There is nothing you can do to stop the coming storm. No one can hear you and if they could, they wouldn't listen.

As I study the candidates for this election and as I study the things happening in my world, in my country, I feel a coldness creaping up around me. It is portentous and insidious. A storm on the horizon that will bring destruction. I am left with a feeling of desolation and futility.

Hogwash! you say. Negative thinking, Cassandrian attitude, doomsayer. Perhaps. I don't know but too much of what I am finding is very frightening. And I find that the fears are not so much for myself but those surrounding me. I look at loved ones, people I like, people I respect and even people with whom I have a passing acquaintance. And I am terrified for them and horrified at their blindness. Can't they see what is right in front of them? What, just tell me, what can cause such ostrich behavior!

Why are we silent? Why do we fear to speak? Is it because we fear being labled a fanatic? A lunatic? I suppose they are valid fears. For many, they already bear the lables but they continue to warn, they continue to scream and yell that there is a storm coming. And yet, the vast majority looks at them, if they even see them, and shake their heads in scorn or misplaced sympathy. There goes another one of those weirdos.

I try not to think about a lot of things because frankly, I can't change a single one of them. I can't fix morals, values, ethics, or behavior. So much that needs fixing and I. . . can't. . . fix . . .it. If you knew me, you'd know why this is the absolute, most frustrating thing that can happen to me. I want to fix it. Someone needs to fix it!

But everyone, EVERYONE, is blind. A small group who sees and knows the storm is coming is standing in that vast wilderness and they are screaming at the top of their lungs, as loud as they can, their voices straining, veins bulging, eyes protruding. Screaming for the safety of those who neither see, hear, or feel.

The Watchmen are calling out. For God's sake, no, for your own sakes, LISTEN!

The storm is approaching! Seek shelter NOW!



Thursday, March 27, 2008

Gotcha!

I think I have a cold. Sore, scratchy throat, so hoarse I can hardly speak, stuffy nose, beginning of a cough. Yes, I think I've been caught.

Language is just so facinating. Why do we say we "I caught a cold"? I mean, does anyone go out and chase one down? And once caught, do you just gulp it down so you get immediate contagion?

"Why are you breathing like that?"

"I just ran four blocks to catch a cold."

"Oh, so you're already feeling it, huh? How's the nose?"

Sniff, sniff. "Still clear but I think if I eat a bit more I can get it really stuffed up, maybe even get a headache and fever."

I don't think so.

I'm the one who got caught. It snuck up on me, too. I thought it was an allergy because it started like one with just a slight stuffy nose and scratchy throat. Today, I feel lousy.

Sneaky little imp.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I Can't Complain... well, maybe just a little.

I've been pretty negative lately and I don't like it much. I suppose that is the nature of pain. It brings out all the worst in us. I apologize to anyone I have depressed and stressed and annoyed by my persistant whine tasting sessions. Really, I do.

I don't know if anyone who is not experiencing pain can really grasp what it means to have unrelieved pain for which there seems to be no pill or recourse. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid arthiritis about 4 years ago. Actually, the doctor I saw was wishy-washy about it but my primary care doctor had already done the blood test and it was positive. So, I changed specialist and the next one, also relucant, did confirm the original test results... with a caveat that other diseases can mimic RA. I already knew this from my research. (Side effects of a history major are propensensity for research.)

She further concluded that while I do have a mild case of RA, she suspect that the pain I am experiencing is related to fibromyalgia, an elusive disorder that appears for no known reason, strikes at random in the body to cause inflamatory pain. No cause, no cure. Until a few years ago, this particular disorder was considered imaginary. Sufferers appear perfectly healthy on the outside, if you exclude the strained smiles, wrinkled foreheads, tense postures and stiff movements.

Really, if I want to keep it hidden, I can but once out of sight, it is normal to breakdown and cry with pain or just suffer in silence. For example, my right calf muscle frequently feels like a torn muscle that makes it extremely painful to walk. I limp. Someone ask, "What's wrong with your leg?" I reply, "Nothing, just hurts today." They walk on and have no idea that I would rather be crawling down the hall than put my weight on that leg.

The pain in my neck and shoulders is continous, with brief lulls in the severity. I suffer from TMJ and migraine headaches, both of which are symptoms of the disorder. I have had TMJ since I was in my twenties and migrains began in my 30's. Muscle pain in my late 40's. It is a progressive disorder. I do not sleep well and disrupted sleep is thought to be a common problem. Too little sleep and pain escalates which in turn causes you not to sleep.

I did aerobics for a couple of decades and road a stationary bike. I was very active and weighed 70 pounds less. I could move furniture alone. I painted my home, hung dry-wall, replaced floors, toilets, sinks, refinished old furniture, sewed, crocheted, wrote, and took care of my family while I attended college full time in my 30's. Once I graduated, I went to work. I work 40 hours a week. I can no longer do any strenous work for very long and I can't think. And that is the worst side effect of all.

They say exercise is one of the best defenses of the problem but you hurt so bad and are so tired it is a herculean feat to accomplish it. A treadmill puts me in tears after 30 minutes. And I so miss exercising but I cringe at the thought of an aerobics routine.

Now, what to do. There is no known cause. There is no known cure because you can't cure something you can't define. There are medicines to take. They usually don't work. I am taking an RA medicine now and an antiinflamatory. I take Previcid to combat the stomach damage caused by the anti-inflamatory. I am also insulin resistant and have high blood pressure. I take meds for both those. I take a muscle relaxant to help me sleep but it causes severe dry mouth and I can't take if for more than a few days at a time. I take a medicine for migraines when I have them and another medicine that helps me sleep. That medicine has limited effects after a week. There are some new experimental medicine. I won't take them. The RA med has potentially lethal side effects and some pretty scary non-lethal ones, one of which is blindness. I am sick enough already and don't need any more symptoms.

I still have pain. I still don't sleep. I probably should quit work but I am the primary support for my family so, that is not going to happen. Well, not unless God gives me a few million to retire on. So far, that hasn't happened. I'm hopeful but not optimistic.

So there you have what all the whine is about. It goes down better with cheese but my humor is not up to speed at the moment. Still, for everyone who has dropped a word of sympathy and concern, it is so very appreciated. Sometimes, just hearing someone say something nice is the best medicine there is.

I promise to try and be more upbeat. The weather is changing so maybe some sunshine will cheer things up a bit. I am looking forward to sitting in the sun and just relaxing for a few hours on the weekends. I do know how to relax but finding a comfortable position is the problem.

Tomorrow is one day shy of the week-end. We have rain at the moment. This means in Indiana that spring is at the door. I hope you all have a lovely weekend wherever you are.

My final words: God is good. All the time. In the good, in the bad, in the happy and in the sad. And in the midst of great suffering, he is closer that your skin. You just have to open your eyes.

Blessings and good wishes to you all.

Over the Mountain

It is Wednesday and like the bear who went over the mountain, all I see is the other side of the mountain. Paperwork is piled around me in stacks of varying height. I have folders, and faxes, and mailings. Oh my!

It has been a long week and I was off one day of it! My pain levels have been high for a couple of weeks now. Sleep has been another problem. I decided to ask my doctor the next time I see her if she will order a sleep study. Something is wrong because I just can't get enough rest. I don't sleep soundly. I wake several times a night to reposition so I can stop something from hurting. I can't lie on my side because on the left the shoulder hurts and on the right the hip and leg hurts. I can't use a pillow because my neck hurts. I can't lay on my stomach for the same reason, well and because I am a "D" and it is impossible to sleep uphill. The end result is very little recuperative sleep. I'm beginning to wonder how long I can continue to function with the way I currently feel.

A lady here today said, "You should be able to draw Social Security." I am astounded because I have no choice but to work. I can't survive on about $600 a month! At least, not at this point in my life. I've lived at that level before and it is no picnic.

So, I will just keep pounding away in the mine and hope someone will give me my life back. The other day I realized I now understand why some very ill people are not afraid of dying. You can actually reach a point where the thought of rest or no pain or sleep, any kind of sleep is a blessing. I'm not ready to die but I am very tired of living like this.

Got to get back to work. Break is over.

Friday, March 21, 2008

A Short Tale of Blessing

Sometimes you have to let people know that God is still doing good things for people. Not because they don't know but because for the most part, we don't hear much about how good God is but rather, we hear how God is responsible for all the bad that happens in the world.

For several years now, I've been supporting what amounts to three households. Mine, my son and his wife, and an unmarried son who lives with us. We've had car troubles times three, job troubles times three, grocery troubles times three, utility troubles times three, illness times three.

My job is not the end of the rainbow, folks. My husband and I could live reasonably if it were just the two of us. But how many parents are going to see their children do without something it they can help. We all need a car and a job and food and a place to live. My kids are extravagant and wastful with very little money to start with. I know this but when the lights are about to be shut off or there is no food in the house, I am required to do something, if only by my own conscience. They are my children, any character flaws are probably partly my fault. You don't have to agree.

When they are sick, I have to buy medicines. If they need clothes or shoes, I have to help. I grew up fairly poor because my grandparents raised me on social security and child support of $60 a month. My grandfather worked but he drank up any surplus he had after Mama paid our living expenses. I remember commodities with canned meat, powdered eggs and milk and cheese. We gardened. I had flour sack dresses as a small child. Hey, back then it was pretty material and people baked their own breads. God took such good care of me through other people who provided beautiful clothes and sometimes food and even my grandmother's medicines. I would be truly unthankful if I did not give back some of that blessing. So I do more for my children than I should.

The consequences have been that I've had times in the last six years when I had money problems that caused me a lot of stress and I've done without some things I needed for myself. Thankfully, I have good health insurance and a steady job and my husband has a small VA pension and medical care. So, we've survived.

Even before I got my job, in fact, since my sophomore year in college in 94, we struggled with more debt that we could handle that resulted from two years unemployement and waiting on the VA to get his pension. Family sent money here and there when they could but we nearly hit bottom a few times. And there was no housing assistance or food stamps. We had to make it alone. A second mortagage gave us enough money to consolidate debts and temp jobs kept us above water, barely. That extra debt didn't go away once we got jobs. It was one more bill to pay. We struggled to keep from drowning until this last year.

God blessed us by letting us get the house refinanced just before the real estate market bottomed out. I might have gotten a cheaper rate today but I would not have been able to refinance because now, the values of homes has spiraled downward.

During all that time, I have always paid my thithes. There were times when not paying them seemed the better choice but I made a promise that when I got my first job, as long as I earned a dollar, God would have his portion and more if I could do it. I've never backed down from that. And the first two years I worked at my current job, I added $25 every two weeks to my tithes because I had promised God I would if he gave me the job. I had promised to do that for one year but I felt so blessed that I continued for a second year. But hard times came in the form of a teenager who got in trouble. So the extra just wasn't there.

I realize all this may mean nothing to you if you are struggling. The bitterness of hardship lashes out at such tales with "why not me?" Believe me, I know.

I can only say that God has been so very good. He has put people in my path who made my way easier at times. He has opened doors and coffers to fill needs. Not every issue is resolved easily and sometimes something doesn't get fixed. At times, I can't buy something I need. Groceries at times are a problem because I may have to feed six of us for a few days. But we've not gone hungry. The lights are paid, although it has become more difficult here. And we've cut down on going anywhere but to work or to church twice on Sunday.

Today, as I paid my bills, I realized that there has been a little money left over lately that allowed me to start paying down on the few credit debts we have left. I will be clear of one in 60 days and that money can be applied to the second one. I found my student loan payment has dropped to 1/4 of what I was paying. I have no idea why! but I paid more than the minimun, just as I have always done. If God continues to help, I will be able to clear that debt in 12 months... after more than 10 years of trying to pay it off!

In January I got a raise. We get cost of living increases in my job, not that they are anywhere near the cost of living! At the end of the January, during Sunday night service, I felt prompted to give an offering equal to the amount of my raise that month. That's $50. I hesitated about a minute because I debated doubling it. But I stuck with the $50. That is what it cost me in gas each week.

I don't believe in the so called prosperity doctrine. I don't believe that the more you give to a church or a tele-evangelist the richer you will get. BUT I do believe that God takes care of his people. I believe that if we give to God what he asked of us, he will give us all he promised. There may be times we have to struggle but David said that "I've never seen the righteous forsaken or His seed begging bread."

I can promise you, I've never gone hungry but bills have gone unpaid for a time. I always pay my debts but there have been times when it took a little time. I have had to struggle. I have been afraid. And I have cried over my situation. But it is days like today, when I can't figure out what happened to my bills that I am reminded that God is working for my good.






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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Rain

There is something about rain that soothes the soul. I'm not sure why. Something about the sound of the crystal clear drops splattering on a sidewalk or running off the eaves of the house is just the most beautiful sound in the world. I never grow weary of it.

My grandmother used to tell me that it wouldn't rain in heaven and there would be no storms there. I'm sure for someone nervous about storms this was a comfort. But as a hurricane hardened child, I was very saddened by that news and when I prayed, I would often tell God that wherever he put me, I hoped there would be rain and thunder and lightening once in awhile. Streets of gold are all well and good but I suspect that gold won't be slippery enough to do a really good slide if it isn't wet. And the smell of grass is not nearly as sweet as it is after a summer rain. The air of a hot summer is only freshened by a quick thunderstorm that you can smell half an hour before it arrives.

For me, sitting in the dark watching heaven throw flaming arrows at the earth is the most exciting contest I can imagine.

It is one thing I miss most about my Southland. We have wonderful thunderstorms that charge the air with excitement and electricity. Just standing on the porch during a storm with the air sizzling from a lightening bolt and feeling the force of the thunder against your chest and the explosion in your ears gives you a physical impression of raw power that you can get nowhere else and survive. If you aren't cautious, you won't survive that either.

Tonight it is raining. For me, it is one of those nights when the sound of the rain brings a coolness to fevered thought, a freshening of the spirit, and a cleansing of the soul.

Turn your face up to the heavens and let the rain fall.

Just When I Was Feeling Better

You know, sometimes it doesn't pay to read the paper or watch the news or well, read anything at all! I was getting my feet back under me and along comes another domesdayer.

Can We Really Run Out of Food?


I need to just shut off everything, phone, cable, internet, subscriptions, etc. and find a place in the woods where I can grow my own food and live off the land. Sounds good to me.



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No Blue In Sight

Gray skies, nothing but gray skies. Gray skies from now on.... Well, it feels like it. Rain is falling. Does rain do anything else? Lately, not much but once it falls, it just sort of lies there. The ground is saturated and I'm beginning to feel as if I'm watching a lake form around my house. Fortunately, I live on high ground so, I'll have plenty of warning if it gets too bad.

I have to say I am having a really bad bout with pain. My back, from my neck to my ankles. feels as if I have been beaten with a stick. It feels just like I am bruised all over. It isn't funny but my butt and upper thighs are probably the worst. I"ve never had pain in that location of this type except when I started doing squats to strengthen and tone that area. I can assure you, I have not done that for years.

This pain thing is just insane. There is no rhyme or reason and no way to predict where it will strike next. If it wasn't so miserable it would be fascinating. I test areas to see exactly what hurts and how it feels and I am always surprised by what I find. But it really hurts.

My husband told me today I needed to see the doctor and get something for it. I looked at him and wondered where he's been for the last two years. I said, "There is no sense seeing a doctor. I am already taking everything they know to give me. It doesn't work. There is no medicine, no cure, no reason, no understanding in regards to this. Until a few years ago insurance wouldn't cover it because it "didn't exist" except in the patient's head. It can't be fixed or repaired or managed."

He looked at me as if I had just sprouted two heads. I'm not sure if this isn't the first time it has really registered that I am really hurting and it is not going to go away. Well, not unless God heals me. And I don't think my husband really gets it yet.


Monday, March 17, 2008

What is St. Patrick's Day?

I was a bit surprised when Riete told me she had no idea what St. Patrick's Day is! But when I think about it, perhaps a lot of people don't. So, I've provided a a link to the History Channel website with the interesting details of this Irish American holiday. We don't take off for this holiday, by the way. It is more of a tip of the hat to our Irish roots... well, those of us who have them.

St. Patrick's Day

An Irish Blessings

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Hope you have a grand St. Patrick's Day.

Well, the Irish do have a great way with words. I believe it is called the Gift of the Gab. I've been told I have that gift, too. I found lots of blessings and prayers. I love this one,
If God sends you down a stony path,may he give you strong shoes.

I could celebrate St. Patrick's Day but since I don't drink beer of any color, it may be difficult. I didn't wear green today and I am too sore to dance a jig! Since I am of Scot-Irish-German descent with little bit of Cherokee I imagine there are several holidays I could celebrate but I have no idea what they are. I'll have to google and find out.

Today is my maternal grandparents anniversary, or would be if they were still alive. I've always had a fondness for the day for that reason.

How will you celebrate today?



Saturday, March 15, 2008

Soap Story

I've slept and my sentiments have not changed much. The compassionate responses are appreciated, of course, but I suspect I've gone beyond the reach of rational thought.

But there is something theraputic about making soap. My husband saves the soap slivers, actually still big enough to use but hard to handle when wet. The cache had become so big I was going to toss them last weekend. He stopped me and said he wanted to use them to make a bigger bar. We've done this before and it works very well but I haven't done it in a long time. Tonight I decided to try it again.

I've had Sarah most of the day and after I took her home, I got the slivers out and put them in a bowl. I must remind anyone who tries this to use a glass ovenware dish. Melting soap is hotter than you can imagine. I forgot this rule tonight and had a small puddle of soap and plastic on the bottom of my microwave. And the bowl was one I've microwaved in before! Wear at least platex golves for handling it. It will still burn if you get it on your hands but it is managable. Getting it melted is a pain because it doesn't all melt at the same time and for some reason it foams rather than melting like wax.

Once you get it soft, add a little water but not to the hot dish, which will also be hotter than you think and will shatter if you add cold water. I put it in a pan and used a metal spoon to mix in a little water. You have to really brake the soap into small pieces and it is best to do this before you start. I didn't. This is probably why it didn't melt very consistently. After finally, getting most of it soft and coated with water I lined a cake pan with wax paper and dumped the mess in. I covered it in the same and used another cake pan to press it. I needed more water. I started over.

I then dumped it all in a plastic zipper bag when it had cooled enough to handle safely. I added a small amount of water and began to smoosh it all around in the sealed bag. Be sure and let enough air out to be able to do this. Then, I began to press it into the bottom of the bag to form a loaf shape. I rolled out all the air and rolled the top of the bag down to compress it further. It is sitting in the kitchen to cool and it will probably be a couple of days before it dries. But I will have the equivalent of two bars of Dial soap.

For those worried about germs. Believe me, the heat of melting soap will actually raise a blister on your skin if you don't protect yourself. Nothing could live in it.

I would also recommend trying this in a double boiler with a smidgen of water in the soap. I think the melt would be more even. You could even add purfume if you are so inclined. As long as it won't conflict with the scent of the soap. I didn't try this but with the slivers I used, there wasn't much but a soap smell.

So, I burned my fingers slightly, created something useful and conserved on soap and money. And my kitchen smells of soap. Better that than the garbage. I have polish sausage in the oven and I am going to have the baddest dog in town.

Tomorrow is Sunday. Maybe it will be a better day.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Chaos Reigns Now

I'm not sure where all my drive went. Perhaps it drove off and left me. The faint of heart need read no further. I am absolutely certain there is something in here to offend everyone. I believe in equal opportunity annoyance.

It has been an absolutely crazy week that started off with a Monday and got steadily worse. The one bright spot was that my boss let me leave an hour early today. The week was so dreadful that, on my way home, I was wondering what that gift of an hour was going to cost me in the long run. Very negative of me, I know, but that is the kind of week it was.

I was told this week that I have a harsh tone but that I do hold people accountable for their actions. My response was, "It is what it is." If the rule says, "Don't" then you don't. If it says, "Do" then you do. As Yoda said, "There is no try. There is only do." Now how hard is that!

I've been thinking about it and remembering the quiet, southern girl who smiled a lot and grew up around very dedicated Christian people who laughed a lot and loved everyone. Where's the girl who was friendly to stranges around the world? I wondered when I got so very hard. I can guess but let's just say the last 15 years have been my own personal hell and has given me a hard outer coating, kind of like an M&M but less sweet. Who I "was" is trapped somewhere inside. The continual irritants I face daily have created the hard shell as a means to protect the inner heart, mind and soul of me.

See, I am sick to my core of the poison oozed by some people. I am disgusted by rude behavior. I have no tolerance for social ignoramouses, ingrates, and ignorant leaches who suck the life out of those extending an hand to help them. I am more than annoyed by whiners who do nothing to help themselves and inflict their misery on everyone they come in contact with so that a hand will be extended which they can then suck on to refresh their energy to whine a little more.

Sometimes, I'm not surprised by all the calamity that befalls the planet. We are a worthless lot bent on our own destruction in an effort to satisfy our insatiable lust for pleasure. And we don't care who we have to walk over to get it.

I am certain that my opinion comes, partly, from the fact that I work in a job where I see rules broken every single day. I hear one lie after another, told in an effort to steal from taxpayers who work extremely hard for their dollar, of whom I am one. I see political appointments and hires that make one wonder what were they thinking!

And it also comes partly from a planet where all the above people live! I am sick of criticism of the decisions every person in authority makes, no matter what party they represent. THEY'RE ELECTED, people, if you don't like them, maybe we can get a dictator next time? Don't worry, that's coming.... sooner than you think.

I am disgusted with amoral leaders who lie to their constituents or expect those of us with slightly higher standards to excuse or "forgive" their getting caught with their pants down. And I am doubly sick of media who milk misfortunes for everything they are worth and then rehash the destruction for days on end. They are like vultures picking the bones of thed dead.

I realized that I have conformed in a way to my surroundings. I have transformed into a person who despises a lot of people because there is no integrity, no truth, no honor and precious little dignity. I speak without sympathy to people who lie to my face and they know I know they are lying but am powerless to stop them. I am disgusted because there are those who think they are deserving of respect simply because of their religion, their sex, or their color and yet they are disrespectful to every person, every ethic, and every value they encounter but deny me the right to respond. I mistrust a lot of people simple because the majority of those I am in contact with and read about and see on television are little more than theives. It is a sad state of affairs and one for which I have relized there is absolutely no cure. And I despise that fact most of all.

We are standing at the brink of a great catastrophy for which we will not find a solution. We seek the answers in the "goodness of mankind", who has shown time and again that there is no goodness in us. We pontificate with pat answers. We write books about god being us, we have power, we are our own salvation. And those are the ones who would have organized religion destroyed because they disagree with their philosophies.

Then those, such as I, who believe in a single deity we call God, are mocked and ridiculed and accused of starting every war in history but we are also usually the first burned at the stake! Or we go out and start a war in God's name! No religion is sacred and only one is true and it depends on who you ask because there are no longer any sacred text unless they appear on Oprah!

And we continue to spiral out of control.

Am I the only person who sees things getting worse rather than better? The environment is a mess, energy cost are skyrocketing, prices are skyrocketing, diseases are becoming untreatable, new strains of bacteria are resistant to treatment, people are nastier than ever and have no tolerance for one another. Perverts are growing faster than weeds. There are wars and rumors of wars. There is hatred, malice, perversions, strife, etc.

Chaos, folks, is in charge. And he is Hell on wheels.

When you see these things come to pass you will know the end is near....


Monday, March 10, 2008

Joke of the Day

I love "kid" jokes. This was so cute I had to post it.

A Thoughtful Teacher

After school one day, a young first-grade boy was sitting at
the kitchen table, eating his afternoon snack, when he
blurted out, "Mom, the teacher was asking me today if I have
any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school."

The boy's mother replied, "That's nice of her to take such
an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you
are an only child?"

She just said, "Thank goodness!"

(From the Good Clean Funnies List (gcfl.com)

Sunday, March 9, 2008

No Voy

No, I did not go to church. Shoot me, please. I've laid on the couch and watch Mythbusters blow things up. It was sort of cathartic.

No, the knees don't work, ankles don't work, bottom of my feet refuse to support me, headache coming and going, shoulders in knots and lower back sore. I have no idea what is going on. Surely cleaning the oven is not responsible for all this. I didn't even do it all at once. I did it over the course of 8 hours. I sprayed cleaner and left it. I came back and cleaned the door. It wasn't done so I sprayed again. I waited a couple of hours and returned to clean the door and sides. I sprayed the bottom again because it looked like a swamp --too many pizzas I guess. Hours later, I returned and did the bottom. Looks great and much easier than I remember them. The irony here is I have a self cleaning oven and have never used the feature. I don't have time to figure it out. I just bought stuff for self cleaning ovens. Stupid, right?

Actually, I recommend cleaning an oven this way. During the lulls I did laundry and moved furniture. {Hard smack to the head here}. Could moving furniture do this? I actually remembered this as I wrote it. I did move stuff around, no real lifting, just pushing and scratching an already horrendous floor. I don't care anymore, you see. It's never clean anyway. Sarah played while I cleaned and I would stop to sing and read a story. She is such a joy to be around.

Anyway, that's how it went. So maybe I did this to myself. Yea, that's probably it. God hates a clean oven and house so as punishment, I get a semi backed over me.

Whatever.

You know that multiply posting feature I mentioned, they have fine tuned that thing even more than I realized. I can actually pick a single individual on my contact list to allow access to a particular post! That is just too crazy! How neat. When did they do that?

I also did a neat thing on my Blogger account. I added a translator so now I can be read in eight languages! I'm global! Right. Who the heck cares.

I'm gone. I have a flexiril calling my name. Work might not be pretty if I don't take it.

Four Letter Words

Pain. Yes, really. It is a four letter word that is creative in its ability to allow the recipient to create other four letter words. Of course, it is also a word that can result in bodily harm to anyone surrounding the recipient.

Migraine headache, RA, and fibro picked today to party. My husband came in from work at 6 a.m. and I though my son would take him to church. He can't drive himself because he worked all night and will go to sleep at the wheel. If someone doesn't go on Sunday mornings he never gets to go to church. My son didn't want to go and I had to get up and get dressed and take him to church. Believe me when I say this is a feat worthy of a gold medal or two. When my husband saw the shape I was in he asked me what I wanted to do! I said, "Die." Maybe I already have. I got dressed and hobbled like a 90 year-old to church. Since then, I've been told twice I don't look so good. How nice. So very tactful of folks. Do you know how hard it is to smile and say, "No, I'm fine." when you feel as if you've been hit by a car and backed over? Guess. Finally when a third woman ask if I was all right, I said, "No, it is not a good day." Hey, I never lie. As in true Christian spirit, she beat a hasty reteat with a "Oh, sorry." tossed across her shoulder. I'd have laughed if I had not wanted to cry so bad.

Some of you will be getting notice of relationship changes as my contact. I am utilizing the lovely multiply screening mechanism so I can post more personal information for my nearest and dearest. I did this awhile back and since then, I've added a few people without selecting and it chose for me. Some I just never bothered with. But now, I have too many unsecured openings to post some family stuff I want to post and they won't be pleased if I broadcast some things to the world. And I may just want a bitch session that I don't feel like sharing. Happens. So, these changes will allow me to make certain post specifically for family and people I know personally amd for those times I want to share something with everyone.

No, I'm not booting anyone unless you want booting. If so, you have a way to do that on your end. I promise, if you feel that strongly, it won't hurt my feelings. Today, there is no one big enough to do that.

I've stopped posting as much lately. Frankly, I am re-evaluating my place here and on every other blog. In fact, today I'm re-evaluating my place on the planet. But where the blog is concerned, I've been considering whether to just blow the whole thing off and get back to real life. However, I've learned to not make any decisions when I am in this much pain. so it will have to wait. I started blogging to force myself to write and it worked. And I caught some friends along the way. There are bonuses to blogging. I just have lost sight of it.

I'm on my way to bed and it is only 1:30 p.m. here. The sun is shining and water is pouring off everyting. The snow is melting and it is warmer, 41 degrees. But I'm looking for a bed and something that will knock me out so I don't feel anything for several hours. Church starts at 7 but I like to get there by 6:30 for the prayer room. My feelings are that should I miss that tonight, it will not bode well for anyone tomorrow.

I hope you have a great start to the week. If any of it spills over, toss it this way. I'll need all the help I can get.

Unless I can find that pill. Now, where did I put that bottle....

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Bits and Pieces

Several bits and pieces here. I've posted the next chapter in the Hidden in the Mist saga. For those reading it. I don't think anyone but Alice is but that's ok.

Also, Cajun Girl posted today that Patrick Swayze is dying with pancreatic cancer, a very painful way to die. I find this terrible. In all the inteviews I've seen him in, he always is so well mannered and seems like such a very nice guy. I've never heard of any scandal or bad behavior either. How very sad that someone who seems to have kept his career on track and his life in order should have his life cut short.

I am still wanting to go to the Women's conference that Skeeter has mentioned on her blog. I was checking it out again today, and I want to go. If you are interested in such things, check her blog for the link. There are three in three different states so you may have one near you.

Any of you ladies who plan to go to the Illinois conference, please email me. It is November 13-15 and I will probably take off that Thursday early and drive over. My plan is to find a room at the Hampton Inn (free breakfast and clean rooms) in Marion. That is 16 miles from Benton, where the conference is held. I'm less than two hours away. I'd love for us to meet face-to-face and get to know each other better. I am taking my daughter-in-law because she never gets to go to thise kind of things now and she likes them.

I am taking off the Monday after Easter Sunday. I HAVE to have a four day weekend alone. I thought it would be a day alone but I found today that my husband is also taking off and so, it will be just another day at home. It will at least have a four day weekend.

Not sure what everyone else is doing. Not many post lately from the masses. But then, I've been busy, too. I hope you all have a lovely weekend. We are, again, supposed to have snow. When will it end!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Who Am I?

I saw this on Alisone's blog and thought I see what I ranked. Not bad but the negatives sure make me sound like a school teacher!











- October 28 -
You are very independent and don't care what others think of you. You are genuine and romantic. You love the outdoors, travel and the arts.QuizGalaxy.com
Positive Traits:
a leader, willpower, self-confidence, originality, stamina
Negative Traits:
cold, unfeeling, workaholic, domineering, obsessive

'What does your Birthdate mean?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Monday, March 3, 2008

A Good Monday Morning?

Is there such a thing? I truly didn't want to get up this morning and come to work. It is a rainy day and the weather has turned ugly - rainy and cold compared to yesterday's sunny 70 degrees. On rainy days, I want to be curled up in a cozy corner with a book.

I've been away from here for a bit, except for changing the look of things when I get bored. I want to respond to a couple of comments on the post prior to this last one, the one regarding Sunday morning. A several people made comments and I found them interesting, although not very surprising. I am thinking about my response carefully because I want to take each viewpoint into consideration.

I haven't been writing much either. February was a short month where it was too cold and dreary to get anything done and I was sick for about two of the four weeks anyway. However, spring is in the air and the days will steadily get warmer and sunnier. I hope the allergies don't present a problem but we shall see. I am going to put out weed killer BEFORE they take hold and see what happens.

Does anyone but me find time a problem? I can remember getting numerous things done and having plenty of time left over. Now, there seems to be no time to complete anything and I am always left with something hanging unfinished, never to be completed. I hate that.

I won't get much done today or tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment today and a dentist appointment tomorrow. A check-up and a cleaning. Still, boring. Loads of work to do before lunch. They won't let us take our lunch out for doctor's appointments. I've decided that I will start trying to set all my appoinments on the same day so I won't have to miss an hour here and an hour there. Stupid if I only need an hour and could use a lunch hour and save the sick time for those days I am actually sick!

You know, I just noticed that several people have left my contact list but they didn't even say so long. How rude! As far as I know, I didn't do anything to them but to just leave without a good by. Anyone ever tell you that it was good manners to speak to your host if you are leaving the party? I added people who requested to be added. I didn't go seeking them. Oh well, Mama always said you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Now I shall get back to work. I'll try and catch you all later!