Good News for a Change

My daughter-in-law got called in for the temp job this afternoon. It is not an easy job. It is in a factory and she said it is very hot and it is from 4 p.m. until 1 a.m. She is very upset that she won't have as much time with Sarah. I don't like that either. Unfortunately, she has to do this. I am just thankful that they called. I have been so worried I was nearly beside myself. I'm still worried but if she can work to get ahead on the utilities, they might make it until something better comes along.

I believe that your prayers have contributed to this and I appreciate all of you who have kept us in prayers. We are praying for her to get this job with the day care. It would be such a relief on her and so much better for this little tot who loves to spend time with her Mommy. And Becca is trying to finish her schooling so this will put a hindrance in her way.

More good news - my back is better. Still very touchy and I must be very careful how I move or lift something. I can feel it when I do the wrong thing. And it gets very tired and begins to ache all across my lower back. There is a knot over the area where it hurts so I know it is inflamed. But overall, it is a lot better.

I was going to add a gripe here but decided I've had enough negative junk here for a while. I need, for myself it nothing else, to speak some positive things.

It is Thursday in about 30 minutes, so the week is nearly over. I am hoping to get some serious work done tomorrow so I don't get behind again. I've managed to get current at work and I handle that much better. One of the program assistants helped me two weeks ago and that has really put me where I should be.

I hope all of you have a great day. Thanks so much for all the encouragement and concern you have expressed. And thanks again for all the prayers. Truly, I am blessed.

Night Business

The 37th chapter of Hidden in the Mist is posted. I'm kind of at a stand still for the moment. The last two weeks have been difficult and my back problem has left me very tired in the evenings. So. it is a short one, Alice, without much action. But even Samantha has to sleep sometimes.

I promise to start on the next chapter. Things simply must come to a head soon. There are rumblings that have begun. Things will begin to shake, I think but I don't know from which direction destruction will come.

For all those puzzling over this, don't. Hidden is the Mist is a novel I've been working on for a while now (has it been two years online, Alice!!). At least another two off line! Anyway, it has some private readers, most of which have fallen away. But Alice remains faithful. She can fill you in if you like. I haven't opened it to other readers. If you are on my contact list, and interested, I will consider giving you a 30 day invite if you seem to care about reading it. I no longer post it for the public. Alice convinced me it was risky. She seems to think it a best seller. I have no confidence but it is an interesting story... I guess. She keeps coming back so there is something that draws people.

Night Everyone! Back seems to be better tonigh. Mostly. Have moments of pain but not like it last week. Thanks so much for the prayers. Continue to say a prayer for my son and his wife. They really must find jobs soon. A call came today from a temp service by my daughter-in-law was at my house and it was after five. She couldn't get in touch with the girl but will call in the early morning. There is another job she has applied for with the pre-school Sarah starts at in August. It would be the best job she could have. It is around the corner from my work, Sarah will be in a class there, and her hours would match mine. Transportation, job and child care all in one place. So, for those of you who will, keep praying for them.

Hairy Business

My son came over last night and I got him to work on my back. I had to warn him to take it easy. The boy doesn't know his own strength at times. Upper back popped in two places! It was probably out of whack because of the over compensation I've been doing with the lower back. My lower back was sensitive so he was easy on it. However, I noticed a little difference once he was done. Very little pain the rest of the evening and I slept well. This morning, it felt almost as good as new, well, as new at 51 can feel, when I got up. However, I had to put my hair up and by the time it was done, my lower back was aching again.

I have very long hair, just below my waist. I wear it up a lot for work because it gets into everything. Sometimes I wear it down but the top pulled back out of my face. Sometimes I french braid it. Some times I make a knot and pin this up into a bun or I use a hair thing I have that helps roll it into a bun. This is two thin metal strips covered in velvet that you snap when the roll is completed and it forms a round loop. Instant bun. But getting the roll right is tricky. Putting it up with the hair thing requires that I bend over and roll it onto the thingy and once it is positioned correctly, you snap it and spread the hair out to smooth it in place. Sounds simple and for the most part, it is. But sometimes getting it rolled where you can shape it is difficult. Bending at the waist seems to be very bad in this instance. So, I guess I'll have to stop that for a few days if it doesn't go up the first time.

I don't know yet what the doctor is going to suggest but I guess we will see. I would like a specialist to take a look at it to give me as many options as possible.

I do want to ask those of you who pray to pray for my son and his wife. They are both out of work and if they don't get something soon, they will lose their housing. I am very worried because I don't have any way to help and no place to put them. Please put them on any prayer list you can. I am getting calls ever day from people who can't pay their electirc bills and are on the brink of homelessness. It is very stressful when it is not your family but when it is, it is terrible.

Everyone have a great week. Tomorrow is hump day and nearly the end of the month. So, I hope August is better.

I'll be back.

Back to Work

The results of the MRI are in. Some minor arthritis in my lower back (I already knew this). Some minor bulging of a couple of disc but nothing that appears to be causing a problem. Everything else looks fine.

So, they want me to go to pain management. Which means a shot of a steroid. Waste of time since it is only a patch and not a fix.

They "may" need to refer me to orthopaedics? Ok. What's with the may?

So, what have we learned? Nothing new.
What have we accomplished? Nothing.

Moving on. . . but slowly. . .

I'm looking for input here: A woman takes a walk every afternoon. She walks the same route. But one afternoon, as she passes a house, she sees something. What does she see?

Back Out

All right, so all this back problems I've been having and have gone on about ad naseum has finally come to a head. The back went out yesterday afternoon. It left me in the laundry room.

I was doing laundry and picked up a basket of dry towels. Anyone ever pick up dry towels? Sarah weighs more . In fact, the basket was so light, I could lift it with one hand. As I turned and started to carry them to the living room to fold it happened. It felt as if someone stabbed me in the lower back with a very sharp knife.

I staggered to the living room and had to sit down. No easy feat, let me tell you. Pain with a capital P. I had trouble moving the rest of the day. Later that evening, I found a pain patch the doctor had given me for the pain in my leg. . . that had no effect whatsoever on my leg. I put that on the spot that was hurting at bed time and took 800 mg of skelaxin (muscle relaxant). I usually take 400 mg so that tells you how bad it was. I never, ever take the maximum dose of anything if I can avoid it.

This morning, pain is only slightly better and I can't move in some directions. Sitting hurts. Standing hurts after a few minutes. Walking is a bit iffy. I might be able to navigate in a strait line as long as I make no sudden moves in any other direction or put my foot down wrong. NO bending at the waist. Squat if you must, but do not bend.

So, now we know what all the build up was about.

I don't know if any of you remember but I had a similar incident last year. I even went to the ER. They sent me home with a smile and instructions to call my doctor the next day. Which I did. She gave me a shot in the back and I was better in a couple of days.

I have not wasted my time or co-pay on the ER this time. I will just call my doctor tomorrow. I am hoping the MRI results is in and she will tell me to come see her. We will see.

Taking Down the Flag

I just had this joke accepted to the Good Clean Funnies List (GCFL). It is a true story.

"My husband was serving his last few years of military service on active duty with an Army reserve unit. There were three branches of military reserve units at our last duty station. During one month, my husband and his buddy were assigned to take down the flag at the end of the day, which is a very formal affair to watch.

One day my husband and his buddy marched solemnly out to the flag pole and saluted the flag. Then his buddy begin to haul the flag down. After a minute of this and not seeing a flag come down, they both looked up.

The flag had already been taken down.

Received from Dixiegirl."

A New Thing

I am launching a new module to my page. I took a leaf out of Jilly's book and added the Review module. It is a work in progress and I don't know how consistent I'll be with it but we will see.

One thing to note, if you aren't sure you want to read a book you may be able to read a sample chapter of a novel at Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble. I've done it several times. They don't always post a sample but you may be surprised.

You Know You're Old. . .

When the topic of conversation after "Hello" is a run down of youer medical condition and the various test you've had run. I know it is true! It has been happening to me!

Everyone at work asked about my MRI. Of course they all knew about it and some had also had the procedure themselves. So, I've had lost of questions.

In my last post, Happy commented that everyone she knew who had had an MRI hated it. I'm finding the same thing. I haven't had anyone who said it was a pleasurable experience or even "OK". No one likes it.

Could it be the sensation of being in a coffin? I haven't had any bad dreams or anything because I think putting that cloth over my eyes really helped. I'm certain it would have been more difficult if I had not done that. I could have closed my eyes but has anyone ever done that and tried to keep them closed? At the end, I even found myself opening them under the cloth!

I'd have to say it wasn't the closeness but the sensations I experienced inside are the main reason I hated the experience. I can't even say the sound was a real issue. I had foam ear plugs and then they put rubber pads on each side of my head covering my ears. This was to pad my head that was positioned between two post. It also helped keep it still and muffled the noise somewhat. It still sounded like someone tearing a building down with jack hammers. Having lived in several large cities and next to a railroad line, I'm not tremendously jumpy.

I talked with a friend at work about what I felt and she agreed with my description. There was the sense of something swirling around you. I mentioned in my previous post it was like water swirling. Another description occured to me when talking to my friend.

Imagine a cylinder of Saran wrap (clear plastic wrap) spinning around you. There was even a wind in the tube and it was colder that the room it was in. My friend agreed with that description! She said she didn't get dizzy afterward but since the girl doing the MRI said it affected her that way, I'm fine with that. It passed off rather quickly.

The whole experience is not one I want to repeat but I am always glad of a new experience to add to my repertoire. Now I am waiting for the results. I hope this week they will call me but you all know how waiting for test results is like.

Back pain is still hanging around but the rest of me seems fairly calm this morning. I have a mild headache but the weather could be a factor. If you look at the weather over the mid-west today, you'll see lots of stormy conditions scattered about.

Those low pressure systems are migraine triggers and there appears to be one headed this way. There is one centered over northern Missouri and they track east along a specific path. For some reason, southern Indiana sits in an areas that is frequently in their path. There is a reason for that but you don't really want me to get into storm tracks, and weather patterns. I loved that stuff in college and had a really good teacher. Earth science is just fun. I strongly encourage any college student to take it. It is an easy A.

Did I Pass?

O.k., I had the MRI. Just done about an hour ago. Am I claustrophobic? I think maybe a little. They ear plugs in my ears to dull the noise and put a folded cloth over my eyes so I couldn't see anything. That alone helped enormously. I thought I'd be fine but when I lay back and realized how close it was, I took their advice. And really not seeing it helped.

However, the pain intensified when I had to lie perfectly still for half and hour. I was fine until about the last 10 minutes and at that point, I was nearly ready to scream. Not from the close space but from the increasing pain in the small of my back. There is a place the size of a fist that is just so tender. I really think this is a pinched nerve.

As I lay there I had the weirdest sensations. I got slightly dizzy for one thing. But the truly oddest sensation was the sense that something like water or smoke was swirling around me in a column. I can't explain what I mean any other way. Isn't that crazy? I did NOT tell the girl that but I did ask about the dizziness and she said it made her dizzy, too.

You feel very odd afterward, at least, I did, as if I'd been hanging upside down and now I was right side up again. Lasted a minute and then I was fine. LOL, I know, that sounds nuts.

I've had all the metals in my body realigned now, so I should be just fine. Right? They told me my iron was high at the doctors a couple of weeks ago. I wonder if that contributed to what I was feeling. Don't laugh. It is a chemical iron. Start running a magnet over iron and see what happens!

Let me say, I was relieved when it was over for several reason! Now we wait and see what the results show. I can only say the pain is worse after the test that it was before.

I am going to ask my son to come over and work it out. He always helps when he works on my shoulder and neck. I used to have him do my back but it hasn't bothered me much lately.

I have to say thank you to all of you who have expressed concern and offered encouragement and prayers. I truly appreciate it. And it does help, really, to have someone say they were thinking about you. Thank you all so very much. I'm glad to have you as friend.

Testing, Testing

I will be getting the MRI tomorrow at 4:30 p.m. CDT.

I have to be there at four to preregister. You know, when the doctor's office was asking me questions to determine if I could even have one, it was scary. They asked if I had any of these metal pieces inside and I answered no to all of them but it was so freaky that late I began to wonder things like, "Did they get all the staples out? Do fillings count as metal? What about a gold crown?"

I'll be asking tomorrow, you can bet!

Not a good day today. My back has flared up again for the last two days for no apparent reason. Well, that's not exactly true. I had some problems this week and some personal things are not good. I don't really want to tell all of it this time. I'm really very tired of it all and it seems as if it won't go away no matter what.

Say a prayer for me. I'm in a bad place at the moment and I really just don't know what I can do to fix it. Nothing, honestly, but I keep trying. And I'm ready to stop.

I'm off for the shower and bed. I'm really very tired.

Feelings, Whoa, Whoa, Feelings

I'm feeling much better today. Had myself a good old fashioned prayer meeting last night. Don't laugh until you try it. I'm dead serious.

I gotta say, lately the walls have just caved in. Family issues, work issues, money issues, transportation issues, health issues. Anything and everything that could explode has and no end in sight. I have pretty good coping skills and an ability to compartmentalize so that when one area is chaos, I can function in another, at least, for a time. But when everything becomes chaos, there is just no place to go with it. So, I just collapsed in a puddle of misery.

But I woke with very little pain today. Not pain free, just haven't had as much pain today. I am going to bed early tonight because I have to get some real work done tomorrow and I just want to be rested. I have several things to get clear by the end of the week and I think I might be able to do it if I can stay on track.

I've really been worried the last two weeks. I just don't know how long I can continue to work with the pain issues I am having. I have that MRI on Thursday at 4:30 p.m. CDT so anyone who prays, keep me in your prayers. I don't want something to be wrong but I'd rather they find a simple problem to fix than find nothing and force me to have to live with the constant leg pain. I refuse to take pain pills. I certainly can't function on them and that is no way to live. I have no intention on being a zombie. There is too much living to do and to much life to live for me be enslaved to pain killers.

They should be called life slayers. I've seen what they have did to my husband when he had his back surgery. People who fall asleep in their food or in the middle of a conversation aren't living. It took over nearly two years for him to become halfway human again. He can't handle pain at all and became addicted to the pain killers.

So, pray for an easy fix to this problem.

I'm out of here, now. I hope you all have a lovely end to the week and enjoy your weekend when it arrives.

Heading for the Week

Saturday night is nearly over. At least, half over. I am headed for bed in a moment. I had a failry productive day. Got some floors swept and dishes washed and clothes washed. Began cleaning out the dinning room. . . again. Every time I do, it gets junked up. My dining room is a former breezeway that was enclosed. It isn't used much in the winter because there is no heat in there and it will freeze you to death. Oh we had a gas heater but gas is so expensive now we took it out. So, once it turns cold, that room is closed off. We eat at a small table in the kitchen and just make do.

My husband is letting his horde overflow to that room. But this week, it is all out of there. I am cleaning out the shed again and putting the crap out there. I love sitting in that room in the mornings because it faces east and on nice mornings, it is just so lovely to sit in front of the window and look out.

I have had a problem off and on with the leg for about two weeks now. When I do any work on my feet, after a while, it begans to bother me. Stairs become nearly impossible, too. Sitting is not as difficult until I've been sitting for hours and then, when I get up, it starts to hurt. When I lie down, the pain is just so difficult to deal with. I can't find a spot that is comfortable and will let me rest. I am hoping they can do that MRI.

I'm off for now. I want to do some writing before I turn in. I hope everyone has a lovely weekend, what is left of it. And I hope your week gets off to a wonderful start.

Vegetatin'

I've spent the entire evening on the sofa in front of the one eyed monster. I haven't heard it called that since my Mama was alive. I watched Dr. Who and Star Gate Atlantis. After that, I don't remember much, some forensic pathologist, a designer, maybe a comedian...not a very good one either.

I have to be up at 8:30 in the morning so I have to hot foot it to bed. Should have done hours ago but moving was just not something I wanted to do. I kept telling myself I had to get up and "do" some things but that didn't work either. I came home tired. My stomach didn't feel good most of the day and my supper wasn't good, at least to me.

Well, tomorrow is another day so we will see.

I think Alice liked the new chapter. See drooled all over my last post. It is quite flattering. Is the darn thing really any good? I trust Alice's opinion so something must be working. Or she is really one bored chick. Nah, I've heard stories. You don't get bored if you're Alice. Way to interesting.

O.k. enough chit chat. You know this is just so I can say I posted today. Duty done. Nite y'all!

Off to the Landl of Nod

I am off to bed now. I'm really tired tonight and I have once again stayed up too late. But... I finished chapter 36 of Mist. Alice will be thrilled. But I have not given much away here.

Tomorrow is Friday. TTGIF (Truly Thank God It's Friday!)

We have revival this weekend and I want to go! This guy was here several months ago and Becca and I really were enjoying the service and suddenly it was over. We were so aggravated! So when we heard he was coming back for four night, we said we wanted to be there. He has some kind of healing ministry. A lady in our church who has had fibromyalgia very bad says the last time he was there, he laid hands on her and she has not had any troubles since. We had several others say God healed or touched them in some way. He seems to just approach people as he is preaching and ask them if he can pray for them.

Anyway, I hope to be there Saturday and Sunday nights at least.

Which Way to the Weekend?

Someone give me a compass! I am already at Thrusday and already two days behind. There is always something happening to screw up my work day. Last Thursday, Monday, and Today things happened to disrupt my work schedule. When that happens, I can't get back on track.

Doctor's Visit

I went to my rhuematologist today. She is going to try and get an MRI on my lower back to see if there is something causing this pain in my leg. She doesn't think it is a herniated disk and I don't either.

She has to battle with my insurance company and said it could take a while but they will let me know. If it turns out there is a problem, I'd probably be sent to Pain Management. Meaning, deal with it. Which I already do . . most of the time.

She talked about over the counter pain meds, which don't work, and perscription meds, which I can't take and work.

So, we aren't much farther ahead. Sadly, I can see in her face sometimes she wants to offer me some advice. But honestly, I'm not stupid. I have researched fibromyalgia and Rhuematoid arthritis. There is no cure, and no relief in the long run. Everything is a patch and the patches are often harmful in themselves.

My primary care physicaion gave me an extra BP med. Isn't working terribly well as far as I can see. I am supposed to take my BP every day at the same time. Right. Like I have an organized day with times set to do certain task! I do what has to be done and I do it when I get to it. If I can't get it done, it isn't because I'm slow or unorganized. It is because there was too much crap to begin with.

I've been shooting for about 5:30 p.m. and I've hit that about twice in the last week. But I've taken it at other times too and sometimes it seems fine and other, not. So, I'd say that is a no?

Ok, now you have my very well educated opinion of my medical condition.

Funny about that. My aunt called me the this week. She said, "I had to call Dr. (my last name) and see what you thought this was." She told me that she always calls me before she goes to her doctor. She said, "Everytime I've done that I have gone to the doctor and he told me exactly the same thing you told me was wrong." She laughed and said, "So, we always check with you first to be sure the doctor is right!" Then she told me she wanted me to go back to college and become a nurse practicioner. She's old.

Of course, I laughed too. Physician, heal thyself.

I am not a doctor nor do I have a medical degree. Every thing your doctor knows is in a book somewhere. He had to read it and he has to research your problems if he doesn't know. There is no reason you can't be educated about your condition. But please be warned. Some doctors don't like it when you know more than they do. My current doctor is a woman about my age but she has the degree. When I question her about my meds she gets annoyed. I see it in her face, even though she struggles to not show it. She's not a good actress and doesn't have a good bedside manner. I don't like being patronized.

Since I started using that office, they have made an error on dosage of one med and I may have found a second error. I discovered they increased the dose on one of my meds but she didn't tell me she was doing that. So, tomorrow, I have to call about it. The last time they ordered quadruple the dose on another one. They had not discussed it with me so I checked. When I caught it they corrected it. What if I trusted that? They told me someone had entered it in the computer wrong! So, now I have a second increase I was not told about.

My philosophy: It's my body and I am PAYING you to treat me. I will be told what is going on. I will be informed before you change something. I do not have to take something I think is bad for me. I don't have to believe your mouth is a prayer book even if it does open and shut. And, if you don't want me as a patient, I can find another doctor. I have excellent insurance.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

This was in my daily joke email. How very profound!

My grandson, Justus, age 10, and his sister Taylor, age 13,
were always teasing each other. One day, Justus was getting
"sensitive" about things his sister was saying to him. I
reminded him that he had said the same types of things many
times in days past.

With quiet reflection, he spoke a gospel truth: "But it
doesn't hurt as much coming out of my mouth as it does going
into my ears."

Idiot for Sale

Oh, I loved this! ROTFL!


Two businessmen in New York city are sitting down for a
break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store isn't
ready - only a few shelves are set up.

One says to the other, "I bet any minute now some tourist is
going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what
we're selling."

No sooner are the words out of his mouth when, sure enough,
a curious southerner walks to the window, has a peek, and in
a Southern drawl asks, "What're y'all sellin' here?"

One of the men replies, "Oh! We're selling idiots here."

Without skipping a beat, the southern gentleman says, "Well,
I see y'all're doing really good. You only got two left!"

A Misty Mess

Alice will be happy to know that chapter 35 is done and posted in its entirety. As many of you know, I have been working on a story, Hidden in the Mist. It is a private blog on Blogger and Alice has been reading it. She nags me, often, to post the next chapter. It's a good thing because I doubt I'd ever progress if she didn't.

Before her sister, Nancy, died, she also was one of my friends and between the two of them, I made a lot of progress. Mist was on the verge of death when they got hold of it. Now, I actually think I am getting to the point. There are 60,641 words in the blasted thing! More than two years of work. Well, it isn't the only thing I've worked on. I did NaNoWriMo in 2006 and 2007. I didn't reach the coveted 50,000 words for NaNo in '06 but I did in '07. So I don't feel guilty about Mist moving so slowly. And, if you read all the post here, you will see a lot of life has been happening.

And a lot of procrastination. But I am trying to imporve.

Unfortunately, this November is again National Novel Writing Month. I want to participate again in NaNoWriMo. Once you've done 50,000 words, you are truly hooked. I also have a women's conference I want to attend the 13-15 of November and then there is Thanksgiving. So, November is a bbbbbad to the bbbbone month. Still, I am impressed with all I've done with Mist.

I owe a lot of it to Alice and Nancy.

I Work, I Work

Saturday is no day in the park for me. I usually spend it cleaning because it is the only day I have that doesn't belong to someone else. So, there is a week of laundry, a week of floors, and a week of bathrooms. No, other family members do not help. Since it is only my husband and my oldest son (28), you'd think it would be lite work. My son keeps most of his mess in his room, which we just finished cleaning out together.

My husband is the worst. He has become a horder. I have no idea why but in the last 5 or 6 years he is suddenly hording ever piece of crap he touches. Receipts, plastic bottles, boxes things come in, flyers he reads, old clothes.. . even if they are't his. I have no idea what is going on but I'm getting pretty tired of it. We talked, argued and shouted about it. I've told him that as soon as Mike get a place to go, I'm taking his room for myself and my spouse can live in his squalor. Don't suggest a shrink. He won't go. There is nothing wrong with him. He doesn't have a problem. I do.

Never mind you can no longer get in my garage or storage building. You can't walk on his side of the bed. Several years ago I put him on the wall side because I got tired of wading thorough every pair of shoes he owns. Now he wades through them and his laundry. He won't put it in the hamper in the bahtroom. I stopped doing everyone's laundry because it was taking two days to do it. I also refuse to cook if I come home to a sink of dirty dishes. I don't own a dishwasher and if you can't wash up your mess, you don't need to be eating here.

By the time Saturday gets here, things are pretty bad. The floors have no carpet and haven't for years. My dog died and we had gotten rid of the carpet because it wore out and she was a horrible shedder, a long haired terrier... like Benji. Anyway, I have to sweep or vacuum the house.

So, now that I've vented, I'll go get to work. I will probably pop back in later. I'm doing a Jilly cleaning. Clean a bit, sit a bit, clean a bit, read a bit, clean a bit.... you get the idea. She should really write a book. It works so well!