The journey of a widowed Southern lady stranded in the Mid-west surviving the
perils and pearls of grief, adult children, grandchildren, writing, retirement, and assorted crises.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Uneventful Weekend
But I did go tonight. I was so good to be back. I was surprised when my assistant pastor read an email he got last week. When he started it I thought, I've read that then I realized, it was my blog post about Black Friday and called A House of Worship! I chuckled but kept quiet. At the end he told everyone who wrote it. It was very nice to hear someone appreciate something you wrote.
After church, my son was telling me that he and the sound guy were listening and David told the sound guy, "Someone has too much time on their hands." At the end, when they told who wrote it, David said, "Oh." I cracked up when I heard it. It was so like David to speak first and ask questions later.
I rained all day today,hard and I just knew that it was going to turn cold. It has! It was 55 this today and rather warm when we got to church at 6 p.m.. Right now, it is 36! I will hate having to go in to work in this cold!
Well, I'm signing off for now. Hope you all stay very warm and cozy and have a great week.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Glory Be!
So, with that said, I'm off to bed.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Welcome to the Winner's Circle
Whew, am I glad that is done. And you know, at the end, the story is a potentially good one. I may do something with it at some point but just to get this far is fantastic. Last year, I didn't make it and I was so disappointed. So this year, I had to try again. I am so glad I did.
Skeeter, keep going! You got one more day. And there is NEXT YEAR!
I encourage all of you who love to write, who want to write, or who want to challenge yourself, in 2008 join me at NaNoWriMo!
Lord have mercy, that was fun!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Let's Take a Christmas Trip
http://www.northpole.com/
http://www.theholidayspot.com/christmas/index.htm
And for you Christmas cooks, what could be better that borrowing Ms. Claus' Cookbook! Be prepared, it will take you until next Christmas to cook all this stuff!
http://www.northpole.com/
Have a great time!
Nose Pain
LUNCH TIME!
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend and holiday. A week off is not good for someone who has no choice but to work. I am no looking forward to another vacation. December will be a long month.
I worked a bit more on NaNo last night before I went to bed and so I am a teensy bit ahead of the count for today but that is what I want for the next four days. I am so nervous I have butterflies thinking about getting it done. Ideally, it would be done by Thursday. We'll see.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Health Warning
Now, I am not into health foods and don't believe I use many things with soy in it. So, I wouldn't normally worry but my granddaughter is unable to drink regular milk because of lactose intolerance. Some people have suggested we get soy milk but we just bought DairyEase, regular milk with no lactose for people with this disorder. So, in part, because of the potential for her to be put on soy milk by well-meaning physicians, I thought it wise to research the story.
So, I have done the research on the web to find any mention of this and was shocked that I did. Soy is such a largely used product in the food industry it is impossible that there would be any harm in it, particularly when it is touted as a heart health food.
I am not going to relate every symptom here but I am providing the links to the sites where the information is. There appears to be a smoke from this fire. So, if you or someone you know uses soy products, READ THESE CAREFULLY and do your own research. These sites all have additional links. You can do a search on Ask.com or Google for "soy and cancer". In this instance, the more information you have the longer you might live.
http://thyroid.about.com/cs/soyinfo/a/soy.htm
http://forum.mesomorphosis.com/mens-health-forum/soy-info-links-134240576-print.html
http://www.soyonlineservice.co.nz/02testimonies.htm
I'll be checking my pantry.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Late Nite with NaNoWriMo
As for what will happen to Shakedown, I don't know. I liked the story in planning. I like parts of it now. But it is so far off my original plan that I am not sure I can finish it. We'll just have to see.
This has made we want to pick up last years NaNo project and work on it but first, I have to do the project I started before that one!
Is this not confusing?
O.k. here is how it goes. I started a novel. I think it is a good one. I was working on it when NaNo2006 began. The book I started for that NaNo turned out to be a sequel to the first work! NO! Not on purpose. It just happened. Now, as it turns out, a character in this year's NaNo is linked to the main character in two previous works!
I'm tired. Even explaining it is exhausting.
So, that is were I am with this mess. Notice the word count has gone up again. Tonight I must have 40,008 by midnight. I'll get it.
Hasta manana!
Slow Day
I've been working hard on the NaNoWriMo competition and I am pleased with the progress. I am pusshing to get the required 1667 a day in. It is difficult because I got off track so far that the story is pretty much stalled. Yesterday, I went over that outline I had and went back to fill in the gaps. That got me yesterday's word count. Today is another day. I remember that last year by this time I was ready for it to be over. I am ready today. When things start dragging I do to.
I've done nothing really constructive this week. Just goofed around and wrote. Not much cleaning, a little laundry, some cooking but the house needs a thorough cleaning. I just don't want to spend what little time I have left doing it.
So, I am here, thinking about what I am going to do to progress the plot of the story.
I.... have... no ... idea.
What I am going to do right now is try and get a skirt made for work. I have an old jumper that my sister handed to me to give to someone. We don't wear the same sized clothes but the fabric is in excellent condition and I can get a skirt out of it. So, that is where I'm going.
Friday, November 23, 2007
A House of Worship
Today, you will worship at the altars of Walmart or Target or Kohl's or some other pagan shrine. You will gladly pay your tithes to the gods of marketing. You will go without sleep to do this, rising before the sun, even if you went to bed at midnight! You will go into the highways and byways to bring as many people as possible with you to the houses of marketing to worship with you.
You will push and shove to make your way to the mark down altars where you will pray for the blessing of cheap merchandise so that you can give someone a cheap blessing. When you find you have received a bargain, you will dance before the altar and rejoice with a loud voice and you will pay with gladness and joy for the blessing.
You will dine on leftovers at home or you will drive beneath golden arches or kneel before the King of burger and partake of a holy communion of levened bread and colas. You will do this with hundreds of other worshipers of your faith.
You will be horrified that anyone would NOT participate in the worship on this, the most holiest of all shopping days. Should anyone criticize your worship, they will be regarded as ignorant, self-righteous, infidels, or just plain crazy because they do not worship your god. You will laugh at them because they have missed the blessings of the god of marketing and have not drunk from the fountain of the king of burgers nor rested beneath golden arches.
You will return to your dwellings, sated with worship and bad food. You will laugh and dance over the riches you have found in your temples and brought home with you.
Sunday will dawn and you will roll over, to tired to brush your teeth so your breath won't reveal your mouth to be an open grave. You will be sore and achy and your feet will hurt from your Friday worship. You have given your all on the altar of commerce.
There is nothing left for the One who created you.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thanks Giving
If you are a citizen of the United States of America, you owe a great debt to American soldiers for the last 200+ years for your right to be here and reap the benefits of that residence. You owe God thanks for the direction of events that lead to the creation of this nation and for at least 200 years, a nation that was PROUD to call itself CHRISTIAN.
If you are a legal resident, you owe the American people a debt of thanks for allowing you the gift of legal residence. And you owe God thanks for the direction of events that led to the creation of this nation and for at least 200 years, a nation that was PROUD to call itself CHRISTIAN and espoused Christian charity that allowed us to grant you that gift.
If you are an illegal resident, you owe the American people even greater thanks because you have no right to be here and you reap benefits you have no right to, paid for by people who are not allowed those same benefits but who have fought and sacrificed for those benefits in the hope that their children would have an inheritance but which is no being used up to support you criminals. The only thing you have to look forward to is a bankrupt nation brought to bankruptcy by the expense of supporting a population of criminals. God doesn't approve of criminal actions so I don't think thanking Him will help you much. He is into droughts, however, and when the money dries up, you might try something else.
I am thankful for my family, my nation, and my salvation. Life without any one of those things would be meaningless. Thank God someone set sail for the shores of a primitive land because they sought a fresh start in a land of promise. Some came with hope, some with greed, some with need. Some lived justly and some unjustly. But thank God they came and built a hope for many nations.
It is said that when a nation abandons the very things that made it great, the fall of that nations can't be far behind. When you remove the foundation of any building, it can't stand.
2 Chronicles 7:14 (King James Version)
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Calling Prayer Warriors
After reading the post, I feel it is a very critical time for Nancy. It is very difficult in these situations to know how to pray and I don't think I am the only one to feel this way. I began by praying for complete healing but when things get as bad as they are right now, it is hard to know what to pray, for me anyway. I don't know God's mind or plans. I just know He is able to do all that we ask. But He works according to His will, not ours. And at times, we are not happy with that.
Emotionally, I am horrified at what Nancy is going through right now. I have been praying for her for weeks now and I know others have too. If what Alice says is true, she has very little time left and that time appears to be beyond anything I can imagine anyone having to endure.
So, I have begun praying for God to ease all her pain, calm any fear she may have during this time, and give her peace in her soul. I am praying for the comfort her family needs now and the peace they will need later. This has been so swift and so terrible that this family will be in shock for a while before they can even realize what has happened!
I don't know if the blog is open to everyone but here it is if you want read the post: http://novelwoman.multiply.com/ If it is not open, let me know and I will see if Alice can post it on her blog for everyone.
YeeeeHawwwww!
{Sighs loudly}
Now, if I can maintain that level for the next 9 days I will finish this thing with my 50,000 words! Oh my goodness, I can't believe it. I am current! that is just so exciting. This time last year, I knew I was not going to make it. I was days behind and could not get caught up. I finished with about the same number of words I have right now! In fact, the 2006 final word count was 33834, just a little ahead of where I am right now.
I might just make it, guys and gals!
Whooo hoooo!
Monday, November 19, 2007
When God Steps In
Many have been praying and while Nancy is not well, recently there have been some miraculous events. I encourage anyone needing a boost to their faith, to visit Alice's blog and read about this situation. As I told Alice, I don't know the outcome, but I know God has a plan in this situation. I believe when God steps in, something is about to happen.
Continue to pray for Nancy and for her family.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Light Through the Curtain
But I am annoyed. I have not been able to go to church for three weeks now and it has become stressful. My car is still in the shop so I have no way to go anywhere.
I am going to spend the rest of the afternoon working on Nano to try and get over 30,000 words. If you look above, you can see that is not an easy task. One day behind is not too bad but after that, it becomes a juggling act when you have a job and family.
At any rate, things are back to a more even keel, if not totally smooth sailing.
Alice has been asking when I would be getting back to writing Hidden in the Mist. Probably in a couple weeks I will be ready for different material. I miss it a bit myself. And this story has generated so much disgust that I am actually wanting to go back to last years Nano and a story that preceeds that. They are linked and I discovered this week that this Nano story is linked to those. The Main character in Shakedown (NaNo title) is the sister in two previous stories I have started. {dismay} I seem to have a serial in the works and I don't have a single one finished.
This is NOT the way to write a novel. But I swear, it was an accident.
Ok, I'm off for now. Hope you all have a lovely Sunday afternoon.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Boom, Boom, Boom
This morning there is a "poundin' in my brain". Yes, I woke up with a headache! Right behind my left eye,above my left eyebrow, back to a point just beyond my left ear and then down, behind my ear and down my neck to a point just at the muscle on top of my shoulder at the base of my neck. You can find this muscle yourself by pressing your fingers at the curve of your neck and moving them just about an inch toward your back. . . there, big elipitical muscle. If I continue to press on this area or I put pressure on my head in the area described, well, I'll confess to just about anything. This is an early warning that a migraine will be here within the hour unless I take swift action. Chopping off my head comes to mind but I keep hearing this voice say that perhaps that is a bit extreme.
This time of year is living hell for me. Low pressure systems abound in the midwest in winter. I am going for the Icy Hot to put on my shoulder and neck. This is actually something I discovered by accident when I had an RA flare that set off a migraine. I apply it to my shoulder and up my neck to my hair line on that side. Then, I take an Imitrex.
Does anyone remember the Salem, Mass. witch trials? One of the tortures was to put the person on a board, lay a board on top, and pile stones on it until they confessed their evil ways. They usually died of suffocation. This morning, the migraines imps have my head in such a device.
Today I will be doing a lot of writing for NaNo... I hope. I am behind but since I am off this week I have the potential to catch up if I really work at it. Of course, these imps would seek to prevent me from attaining my goal of Word Domination. Viewing the monitor is quite painful but I shall defeat them . . . and their little dog, too.
I depart for distant shores of Imitrex and onward to NaNoWriMo. Farewell, fond friends. Adios, amigos. Bye to the rest of ya. As a couple of great people once said, "I shall return."
Friday, November 16, 2007
Figured Out By Morning
Sarah does have a rash on her that is probably an antibiotic allergy. She was cranky and fussy. Hugged me, walked with me and growled at me. No kisses tonight except the ones I stole. She wanted to get down and play because her fever was down but there were a dozen children there at least.
So, I told them to call me when after they saw the doctor. I am tired and couldn't sit in those miserable chairs more than an hour.
I have taken a hot bath, put on some warm sweats and my fuzzy houseshoes and am going to write and watch t.v. Then, I am going to bed.
I can't fix any of my problems. I can't change the world. So, I'll go to sleep. Maybe someone will have things figured out by morning.
Sick, Tired, and Falling Behind
I took them over to her mom's to stay the night with the baby so she would have someone to help her and hopefully get some rest. David can't miss any work and had to sleep so he couldn't help and the same is true of me. During the night, the baby spiked a fever of 103 and the were busily trying to get her stripped down to prevent a seizure. Becca, obviously, got no sleep but she did have her dad stay up with her all night to give her help. Becca says if she is no better tonight she is taking her in to the hospital.
I am just so tired I can't hardly sit here and write, let alone write in NaNo. I did do some longhand at lunch yesterday so I could add to what I have but I haven't transcribed it to the computer yet. But I know I am three days behind. That's 5000 words. I don't know if I can recover that. Priorities have just bumped this to the rear but I am disappointed.
Continue to pray for this baby.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Pray Request For Saray
We had Sarah at the ER on Monday because of an upper respiratory infection and becauses all the medications you used to be able to give a child her size have been pulled. She had gotten worse as a result of not being able to fight off the cold. The ER MORON did not treat her, gave her no meds, no advice, refused to advise her on any over the counter meds she could take, and told her mother to just give her Tylenol for the fever and sent her home to develop pneumonia.
So please, once again, put Sarah on your prayer lists. She is almost 15 months old but only weighs 17 lbs. Since she is so tiny it is very dangerous for her to get very sick.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
The Race is Not to the Swift?
Of course it is to the swift. I'm two days behind in word count, despite my determination to have 25,000 by Thursday. For the neophyte, that is just over 3000 behind. I'm working on catching up now but it will take a couple of days to do that. Only the swift stay ahead of the game of NaNo.
And let me tell you, this story is so bad I am ashamed of myself. I can't believe I'm even continuing. I've almost chucked it twice but when you're this far into it, starting over is not an option.
On top of that, I am depressed. Probably from too little sleep, too much stress, and too many things to do! So, back to the word mill and grinding out the words. I just don't think I'm going to make it.
I'm tired. I want to rest. I want to go somewhere where there is no phone, no people, nothing to intrude on the solitude.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Racing the Clock
Well, maybe they have more spare time than I. Maybe they type faster. Maybe they have a story that is actually moving forward instead of wandering around an demolished town trying to figure out what she is going to do with her life!
I just popped in before bedtime to let you know that things are progressing. . . very slowly.
I can't believe I am almost halfway. If is willing to stick their neck out, you might pray for divine inspiration for this story. Cause unless someone resurrects it, I have to plan the funeral.
Seventeen days.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
NaNo Hell
There are others but there is one special hell you may not know about. It is NaNo Hell. Here you are given tools to write a story and told to write 50,000 words in 30 days. You begin with a wonderful story and great optimism. But somewhere about the second week you notice the story is stagnant, not moving. You move the players around but they don't do anything and they start talking stupid dialogue and refuse to interact with othes with any flair. They look at you and spit at you and sit down when they are supposed to run and laugh at your frustrations.
You drag out scenes and lines and places but they just wander around, uttering meaningless drivel that not even a lost soul would want to read. And you start to pull you hair out and you roll your eyes and scream at the monitor before you. "GET ON WITH IT ALREADY! YOU MORON, CAN'T YOU EVEN PRETEND YOU HAVE SOMETHING INTELLIGENT TO SAY?"
You do your word count and you find you are getting behind and you type faster, writing more meaningless words and you pound your head on the key board. And the characters jump at you and scream profanities at you and tell you what a terrible writer you are and that you are going to be enslaved forever with them and never know what it means to reach NaNo Heaven!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Friday, November 9, 2007
Friends and Family and Other Folks - The Few, The Called, The Chosen
Words are soothing, healing, encouraging and music to the ear. Words are powerful and destructive. And as such, words are an attraction to others. All kinds of others. Blogs are words.
My contact list is a patchwork of characters, personalities, and faces. Some came with me from Y360. Some have been with me since birth. Some are recent additions based on contacts I've made here and there along a path on the web. Friends, Family, and other folks. Interests wax and wane with the moon and the subject. Some of my contacts I love. Some of my contacts I like. Some I don't know well but their blogs made me think I might like to get to know them better.
I look at the words on your blogs. Yes, I look at the photos, and neat little gadgets you may have. I may marvel at your designs. I may even think your pets or babies are absolutely adorable. But for me, in the end, the words make or break my interest in you.
So I don't accept every invitation I get nor do I reject every invitation. And I don't typically drop people, but I have. Words are always there reason.
I do tend to be very selective as to who I accept. I have specific methods whereby I make my choices. I do not deviate from this.
- I ALWAYS pray about the person asking to be added.
- I wait about two weeks before I make a final decision.
- I ALWAYS check your site several times while I "wait".
- I no longer add because you are a contact of a contact. You get added on your own merits, not someone else's say so.
- I don't add anyone who is obviously diametrically opposed to Christianity. What's the point? You'll get mad and I'll get annoyed and we will both say things best left unsaid.
- I don't add anyone who is into pornographic material. It isn't personal, but my Mama said :If it isn't for sale don't advertise it." I'm not in the market, thank you. And you don't have that much money.
- I don't add a lot of men because they don't usually ask women interested in intellectual pursuits. Sorry, I'm into brains. If you're into other stuff, well, you might try those advertising.
- I add more people who are into creative pursuits rather than receipts because I hate cooking.
- I don't add only people who share my faith. Rememeber, its all about the words.
- I don't bear any malice in any choice I make. It's all about me.
Protect yourself. I've seen on some of your blogs that your profile is visible. It shows your name, address, phone numbers, where you work, where you go to school, etc. This is a risky thing if your preferences are set to anything beyond contacts you know personally. You can block your profile and I strongly suggest you do. If you do not block it, please put in a bogus name and in the zip are put a 9 five times. It will show you are in the USA but not a city.
Ultimately, I add contacts the way I buy my mustard. There are all kinds of mustard but I won't buy or eat anything but French's. So, if you made it to my contacts list, you passed mustard.
Now, lets see if you can cut the mustard. It's all about words
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Monday Disguised as Wednesday
I know it is because the paperwork is unbelievable and I feel as if I am spinning my wheels! I can't seem to get ahead at all. I'd be happy with treading water but it isn't working. I'm drowning.
I have a hearing this afternoon with a client I withdrew because she forgot to tell us she was renting out her deceased father's home. Well, it is a long story and I won't go there. Let's just say I hate hearings.
Now back to the grind. I've had my lunch and I am fueled. I hope you all have a great afternoon and I'll be back to update the word count later tonight!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
NaNoWriMo - Day 6
Story seems to be dragging a bit but I expected it. Just not so soon.
Keep those fingers crossed and say a few prayers for my inspiration.
Update
So I want to know where that gene came from and why I can't have one?
I kept her last night and she went to bed at 10 and slept until 8:30 this morning. Her appetite seems fine although she seems to eat small portions to me. But when she doesn't want it, she just pushes it out with her tongue and looks at you with a frown.
I told my pastor last night that I don't know what was wrong but as far as I am concerned, the Lord took care of it.
Thanks to all of you who offered prayers.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Say a Prayer for Sarah
She doesn't seem to want to eat all the time. She can't drink milk because she is lactose intolerant (my native american heritage passed on) Our concern is they will have to hospitalize her and put a tube in to feed her because she is so small. She is 13 months old and weighs 17 lbs.
I'd also like to know if anyone else has heard of a child not eating like this.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Day Four
I'm on my way to bed. The story stalled out a bit so no point struggling to stay away to write. My brain is already asleep.
Third Day of NaNo
But I am going to try. Everyone keep your fingers crossed.
I see some of my buddies have pulled way ahead. One has nearly half the required word count. They must not have jobs!
Well, I'm on my way to get the grandbaby and play for a few hours. Have a great weekend!
Friday, November 2, 2007
You Heard It Here
If you visit the site today, you will see the first day site visit stats in Chris Baty's blog post and the current global word count at the bottom of the page.
For those who want to read my story opening, well, there is an excerpt for those truly hardy souls whose curiosity is just too great. Shakedown Have I over estimated my abilities? Am I deluded, crazy, misguided? You be the judge. Visit and read the excerpt.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Yahoo Exploded
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
The Countdown Begins to NaNoWriMo
For all you creative writers out there, there is still time to sign up for NaNoWriMo. In fact, they will allow you to sign up for the whole month of November! But if you do it by midnight tonight, you will be there when the starting gate opens. So, join Chris and I and about 90,000 other people around the world as we race for 50,000 words in 30 days!
And say a prayer for us... cause we're gonna need it.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Pray for Nancy
I've been told 2 weeks to 2 months.
The type of cancer she has is hereditary...believe that one?!!!
The type of cancer is called: Scaymous Cell Nasopharengeal Carcinoma - Stage IV.
Hospice has already been called in. She is taking Oxycodone for the pain. She is taking radiation treatments one day, then chemo the next day.
She's been losing weight (which she never needed to do to begin with). I've been making her some "milk" shakes (they consist of 350Calorie Ensure, 2 Scoops of Protein Building Whey, and the rest ice cream - everything is chocolate flavored). They've put 3 lbs on her in a week. Which is good.
She still has the double vision, so Jim and I went to a halloween store and bought all their pirate eye patches. We've had a decorating party for the "passion patches"...
She now has a wheelchair, quad cane, shower chair and a high rise toilet seat.
She cries with pain. This morning when we were alone, she started crying and telling me she hurts so bad that she wondered if she was dying and if it was going to hurt this bad when she did die...
It's pitiful. I don't know if I should go back home and wait...should I stay here? Our house payment needs to be made, we have bills to be paid...this is ALL of our vacation time being used up...so what do I do? (Don't worry, I know you don't have the answer...just blowing off some steam)...
More later - and pass this on to whoever you feel necessary.
Keep those prayers a coming!
Alice
Changing The Way I See
And it is so much faster! I have an old system (500 mhz!) and no money to buy a new one. So, I have to get the most out of this one. The browser is really faster!
My sites look so much better and the graphics seem sharper. That makes no sense to me! There are some need addons that you can try and even themes to change the look. I just made it look like the XP silver to blend in with everything.
If you haven't tried Firefox, you should test drive it today. If you don't like it, you can remove it.
Recovery
I'm trying to recover from a stressful weekend. I did not go to work today because I am not feeling well. I'm tired from lack of sleep and I have a headache because I didn't take some medication on time.
I was looking over my contact and I see I have nearly all my wonderful friends and a few new one that I think I will enjoy having here. For the new, my blog is not just where I gripe or whine, although I am apt to do both, it is also where I write at times and post news about what is happening to me, my family, and maybe the world around me. So, some days you may be bored to tears while other you may be laughing or crying. If the latter is true, I have succeeded.
My love is writing and I have a couple of things going on in that area. I have a novel in progress posted on Blogger. Hidden in the Mist is an invitation only blog that I am working on. The last month has been a bit of a problem and so I have not posted anything. I need to catch up a bit.
However, Thursday is the kickoff for the National Novel Writing Month (hereafter referred to as NaNoWriMo). I am trying for the second year to write 50,000 words in 30 days. I have been thinking and planning on what to write this year, as opposed to my seat of the pants, spur of the moment, off the cuff mode of last year that garnered me just over 30,000. I was elated to reach that but felt I could have done better. Check some of the older post and you will see what caused my shortage. To help me keep a bit more on target, I have started a blog for this years challenge. I will be able to access it from any computer and can therefore write whenever I have a chance. I am hoping this will help me build my word count and keep it up.
I hope everyone has a great week. Mine will be long and tedious. End of month usually is.
Pain levels are up but I think it is because of too little rest. I hope to take care of that tonight.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Happy Birthday from Chevy
I was looking forward to the weekend. It is my birthday Sunday and my aunt and uncle are coming up from Atlanta. But my car broke down last night and I am depressed.
I do not know what is wrong but it won't back up. My concern now is that it is going to cost me money I don't have. I have no credit cards anymore so I can't charge it. And I owe more that the stupid car is worth. I didn't buy the junk heap, my husband did. And I can't afford a $300 a month car payment!
Any constructive ideas are welcome. All prayers are too.
Happy blinking Birthday.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Coming Home Late
Mama let me date him because he was a “church boy”, meaning he went to our church. She also knew his mother and so it was all right. To my 14-year-old eyes, he was wonderful. He was 16 and had a car. He was tall and played the guitar. And I was the new girl in town.
It was a small church and I was one of three teenaged girls. One of them already had a boyfriend outside the church. Her sister, Debbie, and I were the same age and immediately at odds with one another. We all know about green pastures and he saw a break in the fence.
We dated through the summer and into the school year. During one of the first football games of the season, we were on a date and he was supposed to pick up his brother after the game, truly the cuter of the two but with no car.
My curfew was always 10:00 p.m., no matter what. I seldom rebelled on any rule Mama set but then, it never occurred to me that I could. Nevertheless, we rode around the parking lot looking for his brother and the clock kept ticking. He finally said he better get me home. Suddenly, I knew Mama wouldn’t mind if we were a bit late. After all, his brother was my age and was standing around somewhere waiting for his ride. We couldn’t leave him here. The stadium would be empty soon. He would have to stand around in the dark, alone, waiting for his ride that was not there because it was taking me home.
At 11:00 p.m. we pulled up into my yard, without the brother. And as my young man walked me to the front door, Mama got up from her rocker and, in a quiet voice, said, “Do you know what time it is?” Well, of course, we did, but I don’t remember thinking that she was asking for the time.
We both said, “Yes, m’am.” She proceeded to tell me who I was and what I was supposed to know. During the course of her speech she managed to politely tell him how much she thought of him and how she expected him to have me home when he said he would. I, of course, tried to explain about his poor brother standing somewhere at the school waiting for a ride that still had not appeared. Mama was sympathetic but unmoved. I had come home late.
It was a short romance and only lasted about three more weeks. We never dated again. He discovered his old school girlfriend, who happened to be one of my classmates. I don’t know if she had a curfew but my guess is she didn’t have my Mama. She tried to be nice to me and I liked her but I could never really hit is off with her. She wasn’t a church girl and she took my boyfriend.
I am a beast about punctuality and it is no wonder. My life has always been about keeping appointments and knowing where I was supposed to be and when. When I was 17 and dating my husband, he was always careful to get me home on time. Whenever Jerry brought me home my great-grandmother’s mantle clock was striking the hour. I didn’t have to tell him, he had a Mama, too. One night as we walked into the house Mama jokingly commented, “I believe you two sit around the corner and wait for that clock to strike.” We all laughed but Mama’s eyes twinkled at me. I had never come home late but once.
I have been re-evaluating many things that have evolved in my life and that only now I think I understand. I feel as if I have come home late and that Mama is sitting on the porch, in the dark waiting for me to roll in. I hear that quiet voice is saying, “Do you know what time it is?”
I have raised two sons and they now have wives of their own. I feel I did the best I could under the circumstances of our life but as I watch their foolishness, I doubt myself. I see the waste, the unconcern, and the lack of dedication. I feel like Mama sitting on the porch, in the dark saying, “Do you know what time it is?”
It is not just in my children that I see it. It is in a whole generation. There is time to spend hours living in a small box where a world of make-believe people live and fantasy events happen. There is time to spend hours at an amusement park, a ball park, the beach. There is time to cruise hour after hour along whatever street is cool and be seen by countless others just cruising through life along the same street. And I hear Mama, sitting on the porch in the dark, asking in a quiet voice, “Do you know what time it is?”
There is no time to spend in church. There is no time for prayer. There is no time for any pursuit that enriches minds or hearts. A thousand excuses overflow to fill the time.
“Do you know what time it is?” Never before have I heard that voice so clearly. It cuts me to the quick because all the excuses have been mine. At the time all of the reasons seemed, well, reasonable. And yet, “Do you know what time it is?
I look at all the days of my life and wonder. If life was like a carousal where I could capture brass rings of time as I sailed by, I would reach out and pull the ring of time that let me spend wonderful laughing hours with Mama. I would pull the rings of my children’s lives and never let go of any of them. I would grab the rings that let me relive the most precious moments I have ever known; putting my head in mama’s lap, my marriage, the birth of my children, my sons’ baptisms, every minute of their childhood, my children in my lap, my family reunions, my sons’ weddings. I would grab every ring of opportunity to pray more and truly converse with my creator, to read my Bible. I would grab rings to relive every exciting service I ever attended and re-listen to every riveting sermon I ever heard. I'd grab every laugh, every sigh, every heartache, every tear and I'd hang on to them.
I cannot recapture one moment of time.
Brass rings of time.
“Do you know what time it is?”
I only came home late one time. It took 30 years for me to realize what it meant.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Oasis
Fireworks on the Riverfront
Friday, October 19, 2007
Rarin' to Go
Well, I've managed to get things up and running here at Multiply. Now, we'll see how it runs. I really like my 360 page but I see problems ahead and I am not going to get caught in that mess. I now have four blogs on Blogger, one on 360 and this one. How stupid is that? Of course, one of the Blogger sites is defunct, another is by invitation only, and one is going to be just for NaNoWriMo where I can post my writing for my friends. It will be limited to my blog friends and contacts only.
Today I am going to have lunch with my friend who is leaving town. I mention him in the post called Honor Where Honor is Due. I doubt I'll get to see him again so this will be a bit sad. I've truly enjoyed his friendship over the last 17 years. It is hard when friends leave. I don't have a lot of close friends to start with and so losing one has been very sad for me.
I am supposed to work tomorrow but I don't really want to. The weather is turning cool again and I don't know what effect that will have on me. Also, I don't have but one day a week that is truly completely mine and that is Saturday. Even that is often shared with other people wanting something. I just want to be alone and quiet and do the things I need to do at home. So, when I get up in the morning, I'll decide how I feel. If my pain level is up I won't be in.
I must say here that November will be a slow month for me. NaNoWriMo begins Nov. 1 and I plan to participate again this year. I have written about it a bit in my 360 blog. For those who are game, join me there as a writing buddy and write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days! I reached over 30,000 last year but I've done some planning this year and I want to reach the goal. My ID is Dixiegirl.
Now back to work. I took a few minutes to update. Nice thing is that this post will be cross-posted to my other blog, A Dixie Girl's Ramblings.
Hope everyone has a great day!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
A 360 Wanderer
I just started this Multiply thing and I think it may be just what I wanted! I've transfered some post from one of my other blogs, A Dixiegirl's Ramblings at Blogger to kind of give you an idea of what interest me.
There is another blog I have on Yahoo 360. In fact, it is why I am trying this out. They are about to change things on 360 and my experience so far is that they mess up something everytime they change things. A lot of us love 360 but I'm just tired of the hassel and lack of response. I've backed up my blog there and probably will be posting some of it here.
Now if I can talk my friends there into joining me here, I'll have every thing I want in my blog and my friends too!
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Rules of Respect
I was cleaning a file today and ran across something I wrote when my sons were entering those troublesome teen years. For several years it was posted on my refrigerator and every time they got in trouble they had to read it aloud to me and review the one that applied to their situation.
Rules of Respect
- Show courtesy to everyone. Please, Thank you, Sir, M’am, You’re welcome, and excuse me, are all keys that open doors. Everyone likes respect. You get what you give.
- Ask first. Do not take something that is not yours. If you “borrow” without asking, it is stealing. Get permission
- Wait your turn. Do not interrupt others when they are talking. Or, if you are not part of the conversation and need to speak to someone, “excuse me” is an appropriate way to get their attention if you have waited for several minutes.
- Know who’s in charge. If you see a need or problem, do not give orders – find the person in charge and politely mention the problem. If you have not been put specifically in charge, allow the person in charge to give the orders.
- Refuse to argue. Ask if you can quietly discuss the problem. The Bible says “a soft answer turneth away wrath.” Usually, it is hard to yell at someone who won’t yell back. After a while they get tired. Remember, sometimes it doesn’t work, especially if you have wrecked the car or broken curfew.
- Allow the other person to be right. No one is right all the time but neither are they always wrong. YOU could be wrong. It is more embarrassing to loudly declare you’re right and be proven wrong than it is to keep your mouth shut and let others loudly declare when you are right.
- Offer help. If someone is ill, physically unable to do a chore, or simply needs an extra pair of hands, offer to help. Do not wait to be asked. Offer kindly. If your help is refused, say nothing and allow them to do it themselves. If asked -- give your help to the best of your ability.
- Respect other’s privacy. Do not ask questions about someone’s personal life unless it will affect you personally. For example: You do not need to know about someone’s sex life unless you plan to have sex with them. Do not tell secrets you have been told unless there is a danger involved or a crime. Do not listen in on others’ conversations uninvited. Do not tell something you have overheard in a private conversation. Would you want someone to tell your secrets?
- Do unto others. If you want kindness, give it. If you want love, give it. If you want help, give it. If you want friendship, give it. If you want understanding, give it. If you want fairness, give it. If you want truth, give it. If you want joy, give it. If you want peace, give it. If you don’t want any of this, do nothing and you’ll get nothing.
- Overlook the jerks. There will ALWAYS be someone who defies all of the above. And because of it, no matter what you do, it will never be enough or it will always be wrong – to them. Walk away and smile. If you have done your best and followed the rules, you have won anyway. Always, always, always let them go before you. When the axe falls, it will be their head that rolls.
You have been taught a set of values. If you choose to abandon these, we will not avert the consequences of your actions. If you get arrested, we will not bail you out; if you catch a disease, we cannot cure you or even get expensive medical care. Adult behavior requires adult responsibility. You are on your own when you set your own values and rules of behavior. If they conflict with our moral code, you must move out and support yourselves. We will still love you but we made our choices before you were born. We have not changed our minds since then and will not do so now. As a result, we may lose you but if we give in, not only will we lose you but we will also lose ourselves.
Today, when I found them and read them again, I realized that all the self-doubts I’ve had lately were foolish. I did do something right. I didn’t neglect the important things. They may not have stuck but I did the right thing. I can’t understand why the sons I raised became who and what they became but it is not my fault.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Down in the Dumps
I went and joined the YMCA last night. My plan is to start working out again 3 days a week. That's the plan. I may go tomorrow and Monday and Tuesday since I am off until Wednesday. That might be good. I might feel better getting some exercise.
I think the problem is that I didn't have my pain meds for two days. I've been having more pain since yesterday and last night I was really depressed. Tonight I just feel tired.
Let's face it. I don't really know what the problem is and I'm just grasping. I'm going to get a hot bath, get some comfortable clothes on and I may just go to bed.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Fireworks On The Ohio
It was Sarah's first celebration of our Independance. I hope someday she will be celebrating the same event with her children, if not on the Ohio, then somewhere nice.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Honor Where Honor is Due
He was my writing teacher and he became one of my dearest friends. I met him in 1990 when Daddy died and I went to take an Anthropology test I had missed. It was my second year of college. He stood out in the hallway and evesdropped on my conversation because I was talking about writing. He was waiting to get something for his wife, who also took the Anthro class. He stepped brazenly into the room and told me to take his 400 level editorial writing class. I wasn't even a junior and didn't have any of the prerequisits. Yet, he followed me out of the building and dared me to take it anyway. I did and it changed me forever.
He isn't a Christian. I don't actually know if he is even a believer. He's never said so outright but my impression has always been he'd like to think there is nothing to faith or religion. But maybe he was really wanting to find a reason to believe. I don't really know. The few times I discussed religion or faith with him, he would want to debate the issue. This, as you all know from this blog, is not a debatable subject for me. So dealing with questions whose answers are entirely based on my faith was not something I wanted because ultimately it would come between our friendship. I had always felt that God had put this person in my path but there were many times I didn't have a clue as to why. He wasn't going to listen to me on the subject of faith.
So, I avoided that discussion. Only occassionally did some topic of religion come up and we would briefly discuss it but nothing in depth. He knows what I am. He told me the last time we had lunch, "I can't figure you out. How can a woman as intelligent as you be such a fanatic?" I think I just smiled. My opinion is that they are not mutually exclusive. You can be intelligent and believe in a loving Saviour and creator of the world.
He is a hard person to like. Gaining his friendship is one of the hardest things I've ever done. He would hate and deny this but when I first met him he had all these preconceived ideas of "religious nuts". I was immediately a "fanatic". He would make comments in class and watch for my reaction. Only once did he ever offend me and when I told him, he apologized. Since then, I've spent the better part of 17 years trying to shatter every one of those preconceptions. The friendship that has grown has been a blessing to me because it has taught me about me. I've learned to look beyond the surface. I found honesty, integrity, and sincerity in someone I'd not normally spend more than a few minutes on.
I know a little about his personal life here. He set these barriers and boundaries with his students that only a few could breach. I was priviledged to have scaled the wall. On occassion, there would be this glimpse of a funny, relaxed man who wanted to be liked. He hid behind the tough as nails newspaper man. Since I graduated nearly 10 years ago, we've met for lunch off and on and I would listen to what was going on with the students, his latest writing project, what was in his head. I don't think I actually did a lot of talking. It doesn't seem like it. Sometimes he would joke about religion in an attempt to bait me. I didn't usually bite and he would know to move to another subject.
And oh, what a teacher! I loved his writing classes. That funny outgoing man held sway in the classroom and most of his students adored him. Yet, he is a person who will tell you if your work is good or if it stinks. There will be no sugar coated words or sparing of your feelings. Just the Facts, m'am. And that is why he has a hard time with faith. It requires accepting as fact what one can't see.
It is because of him I truly began to write again, to believe that I could write. He told me I could. He told me I was the best writer to ever grace his classes. And because of his words, his honesty, an open wound that I had not realized was there was healed. He couldn't have known then about the emotional damage to a young girl by another thoughtless, stupid teacher many years ago that sent the young writer into hiding. My friend is a Teacher.
Now he is leaving. I realized, when I heard the words, that I would ultimately be friendless here in this city and because we come from opposite ends of the country, I will probably never see him again. It is so painful, that even now I cringe from the reality. Oh, I have "friends" and I love my church family but there is a place that this friend has carved in my heart that will be empty when he leaves. There are conversations and ideas that no one else will understand.
Saturday night I told him that God places people in our paths that we will need in our futures. I said it regarding someone who has helped him during this time but I meant it about me, too. God put this wonderful, stubborn person in my path because of what I needed. I hope I have impacted his life as much as he has mine. I have said many prayers for him - to find peace, to find God, to find faith. I don't know if he ever will. I will just keep praying.
I will miss you, my friend. I won't forget you because I have carved you in the palms of my hands. (Isa. 49:15)
Monday, September 10, 2007
Grandmother's Brag Blog
Well, a year has come and gone. Sarah Cheyenne was 1 year old on September 2, 2007. She is the sweetest little thing and such a joy to be around. I know all grandmothers say such things but other people tell us the same thing so I don't feel I am exaggerating.
She is so smart she scares me a bit. I've never seen a baby her age do some of the things she can do. Neither of the boys were as smart as she seems to be, nor as attentive to details. She will watch you do something until she figures it out. In a few hours she learned to turn on a toy she got for her birthday. She has to push down on the head to make it go.
She apparently hides her pacifiers all over the house and no one can find them. Her mother will tell her to go get it and Sarah will come back with one in her hand. She puts them in cabinets, drawers, shoes, and boxes. It is nightmare to try and locate them. So we don't anymore. If Sarah can't find one she comes back in the room and raise her hands in a gesture that says, "I don't know."
Today, the cordless phone was on the floor and Becca said, "Sarah, go get the phone and give it to mommie." Sarah got down off the couch and walked across the room and got the phone and brought it back to her mother. She's 12 months old!
I'd be interested in anyone else who has seen children this young follow such detailed instructions. It has me stunned.
Her mother reads to her but sometimes Sarah takes books and sits down and turns the pages and makes talking sounds! (I have heard of this. My grandmother and aunt said I did that as a toddler.)
I'm a bit depressed as well. Not sure why. My birthday is next month. . . 51. Joy, joy, joy. Officially over the hill. I feel very old and useless tonight. I am homesick again but not so much for home as for some relief from the city congestion and the frustrations of a ridged schedule of work, clean, sleep. My life had become a circle of drudgery. I hate having to be somewhere at a certain time to do the same things every day, seeing the same faces, hearing the same whinning voices. I am missing the travel and excitement of moving to new places to make a new start in new surroundings and finding new interest.
I'm going to bed now because I have work tomorrow. I have bragged and whinned enough. Maybe tomorrow I can do some real writing. I have sort of let this blog falter and I want to get back into it. I like the My Yahoo 360 page with all my friends but lately it has become a burden. I think everything has for some reason.