Saturday, March 31, 2007

Updating the Mist

Just spent several minutes updating the draft of Hidden in the Mist I have posted. It is a bit of a chore but I quite like this idea of putting it out here. I suppose I could limit access a bit and may eventually do that to those who request it. Have to think about it.

Today is a gloomy day. The sky is overcast and the wind has a bit of a chill. Not cold, just a bit cool. I am sure it is somewhere in the 60's. The pollen, on the other hand, is horrendous. I have a sore throat, stuffy nose, and my skin feels tight, probably because of a coating of pollen. I dislike the mid-west, particularly this pothole where I live. No real clean air, the water is really nasty, and I've been sick ever since I came here.

Believe me, if I was financially able to leave, I would. I crave an ocean breeze so badly I can almost smell it. And to see a sky that is not tinged with the gray of motor exhaust would be heaven indeed.

Well, enough of that. I am out of here for a bit. Got loads of stuff I want to do today. I have felt back all day with the allergy symptoms and I can't take a lot of stuff because it knocks me out.

Have a good day all. Drop by Hidden In the Mist and take a coffee break.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Bring You Up-To-Date

I just finished updating my "novel" blog, Hidden in the Mist . It is finally up-to-date with my Yahoo 360 blog. This will make it easier for new readers to get caught up quicker and stay on track.

The trick now will be just keeping it current. It is very difficult to keep two blogs going and I have tended to move toward the 360 blog. However, Blogger.com offeres some fun and unique ideas and ways to tweak it that Yahoo doesn't offer. So, I have kept both.

I am also going to to start thinking about the November NaNoWriMo contest again. I think I should get a plan this time and work with that. The starting cold turkey seemed to be a hinderance. And they say that an outline is acceptable. I do so hate outlines!

That's all for tonight. I hope you will visit all my sites. Have a great weekend. I am off to work on Chapter X.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

When the Wind Blows...

I was looking at the ticker at the top of the page and got a graphic of how quickly time has flown. My baby girl is half a year old! I won't go in to the sappy grandmama stuff but she is such a doll.

Sarah Cheyenne, December 2006

She is still small, only weighs a bit over 13 lbs. She doesn't care much for baby food and sometimes she doesn't drink a full 8 ozs of formula. She has little fat feet and fat legs and her hands are a bit plump but she isn't really fat, like some babies. I worry but we give her vitamins in her formula so she at least gets enough of those. She is a happy smiley baby who loves music. During church I hold her facing front and seated on my arm with my other arm around her. Today, during the singing her little legs were kicking and her arms flapping around and she was having the best time. Becca and I laughed and both of us agree, once she is on her feet, watch out, cause Miss Cheyenne has her shouting shoes on. This is one Pentecostal baby.

I am sitting in my study enjoying the peace and quiet. Mike is working, Dave and Becca are out and Jerry is napping in his chair. There is NO SOUND but the computer, heat flow, and the ticking of my clock. You know there is a scripture that says there will be 30 minutes of silence in heaven when God is presented with the prayers of the Saints. I suspect it will be my favorite time if I am honored to be there. I am awed by Him now and the sound of that kind of silence must be overwhelming to the spirit. Not even the ticking of a clock because time will be no more. Not the breath of a breeze because nature will cease her restless turmoil.

Wow!

Visit my Yahoo 360 page. Dixiegirl

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Touching Base, Catching up, Etc.

Oh Lord! How long has it been. The other blogs have kept me busy. I have too much going on. Still have a houseful of people but David does have a job now at Chick-Fil-et. Is that how they spell it? I don't know when he starts.

In about two months they should come up to the top of the list for housing. Hope he keeps this job.

Mike's job is not scheduling him at all so I suspect they want him to quit so they don't have to fire him. He has been home for nearly a week and has worked one day.

There is more on Mike but way too much to recount here. He's met another internet bimbo but this one is in Miss. He went down and stayed two weeks visiting her. I don't know her, what kind of person she is or anything, except she is a bit more attractive than the last one but that doesn't take much. She is thinner that the last one, and that doesn't take much either. My concern is if she is in church. She has four kids by different men so I am not encouraged by her lifestyle.

You know, I came out of a small southern town. We do not have to perpetuate the common perception of women from small southern towns. Those who do, do so by choice. Education, culture, poise, and plain old class are all things within our control. To blame location, parentage, education, economics or anything else on what we become is simply a cop out for the lazy.

Of course he is in LOVE and wants to marry her after one meeting. How stupid can people get? Let me tell you.....

No, I won't go there. I am finished fixing everyone's problems. They will do what they want anyway and from now on they all better be prepared to take care of themselves. I have nearly lost everthing I own to take care of other people. I'm finished.

I am gearing up for the weekend. Can't wait. Check out the yahoo 36 blog for more detail on what is happening. Also, check out the Hidden In the Mist blog. It is listed in the profile.

Hope you all have a great day!

Monday, January 22, 2007

That's The Way It Is

I was watching the news this morning and found that things must be really good. All they could come up with was a story of two young men who had been on American Idol. The "news" was that Simon had been exceptionally mean to them. Tell me, when did this stuff get to be "news"? Who cares? Simon is generally nasty. He is overcompensating for something he lacks in his life. That or he is just a nasty person in general. But really, do I care? Is that important enough to discuss for 15 minutes? I understand that during the second hour of the morning news show they were going to have the guys back on to answer questions from those who emailed or called in questions. I guess from people who really care about American Idol. Are those people really up at 7 a.m.?

So, if it is not news, what is it? Human interest? They didn't lose a body part. No one died. They weren't kidnapped. They weren't robbed. They were not physically attacked. They got their feelings hurt.

O.k. someone needs to pat these nice boys on the head and reassure them that that for the next 50 years someone will hurt their feelings about once a week. . . at least. They are in for a rude awakening. People are generally nasty to anyone who looks different, dresses differently, acts differently, speaks differently, and smells differently from what the masses think is normal. That pretty much means that the minority will always beat up on the majority. They think they are special.

Their experience must not have been very traumatic. They were on a hugely popular television show smiling and telling Simon what a naughty boy he had been. And they were planning their next "gig" on the View. They don't actually have it yet but they are optimistic. They have agents.

So, this is news?

Walter Cronkite, I miss you.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Sick, Ticked, and Crazy

It is cold and I am sick. The three day weekend became a five day weekend because I am sick with a horrible cold. I finally went to the doctor yesterday and got meds only to find my doctor is no longer with the group. Now I have to find a new doctor and my insurance comes up for renewal/change in June which means I may have to find a new doctor!

They need to come up with something in this country whereby insurance companies and doctors cannot refuse patients. You should be able to see a licensed physican without having to get approval from the insurance company. Perhaps the government should come up with a cost sheet that restricts all doctors to the same basic charges and insurances companies as well.

This crap of having to change doctors every time your company changes insurances companies is stupid. I have had three doctors in 8 years, two of those in the last 4. It stinks. And now, none of the doctors I had are on my plan. So I have to start over and in June, if we change insurance companies, I will probably have to change again.

Obviously, when I am sick is not the time to discuss this stuff.

I started a fourth blog! How crazy does that make me. Of course, this one and one of the other's, Dark Mountain, have languished a bit. I keep the Yahoo 360 pretty busy but I started this forth one, Hidden in the Mist. It is a book that I started last year as some flash writing. I just started writing what came to mind. Got about 20 pages in and stopped. I don't really care for the story but suddenly, in the last month, more of it started pouring in and I started posting in on the 360 site. Next, I found a way to post a novel on blogspot that I kind of like. So, I am doing it.

Just cause.

Why don't I send my writing off to publish? Mainly because nothing is finished yet. If I get some good feedback maybe I will. I have actually got three things started. I have one with nearly 50,000 words and another with 33,000. And I am getting better at just doing it. I feel better about it. I think the NaNoWriMo thingy helped me get focused on the writing. I realized a lot of things about how and why I write. And I learned that I procrastinate when I get stumpped instead of pushing on. I have received some positive feedback on 360 with the current work but it isn't done yet and even when it is, it will require re-writing and editing. And I still don't actually like the story. That is crazy to me. But you know, I am actually felling good about the writing and just doing it is such a good feeling. Publish. . . whatever.

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Lipstick, Lies, And Letters

I got another one today. You know, one of those warning letters from your friends, family and foes who want to see you die. It was warning me about the dangers of lead in lipstick. Apparently, lead in lipsticks causes cancer.

I truly appreciate the consideration of those who send me these emails. They are concerned for my welfare and safety. Except for the foes, they have other reasons. But honestly, I just wish they'd check out these things first, before forwarding it to me. It would save us both a lot of trouble. I will give you links further on that you can check if you don't believe me.

Let me just put the concerns to rest first. This is one of those false reports. It has a teensy bit of truth that is blown into a epidemic.

I will also alleviate any concern for my specific welfare. I don't wear lipstick. Constantly wearing lipstick actually makes your lips become paler. It acts as a sunblock. Sunlight is what puts the color in you skin and lips are skin. Of course, you should wear protection on your mouth to prevent windburn and sunburn if you will be out for extended periods of time but if it is ruby red lips you want, light is what you need. And it doesn't wash off.

Other things can also drain color from the skin. Extended prison stays will wash out the complexion and probably lips as well. I think they do give you an hour a day in the yard but I don't know if that is enough to make a difference. If any of you have this information I might actually like to know this. It would make a lot more interesting blog entry. Perhaps someone can weigh in on prison makeup tips.

Of course, if this little story were true, not wearing lipstick may have been the smartest thing I've ever done! Lead is not known to cause cancer but lead poisoning actually causes severe mental retardation in children and can cause other serious health issues in adults and children. But lipstick, well I suspect you'd have to consume tons to get a blip on the screening.

You can find it out for yourself, of course. I am including the link where you can verifiy this and all other urban ledgens and internet myths. www.truthorfiction.com or www.snopes.com Please pass these links along to your friends. I am sure they are sick of these chain letter as well. I also did a search myself and came up with this result page http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=lipstick%20and%20lead . I found several interesting comments on this but ultimately, it is false.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Happy Holidays!

I've been very busy on the My Yahoo 360. Posting nearly every day and the traffic is up. I am off for a four day weekend and then I work three days and am off for another four day weekend. Yipee!

Drop over to My360 page for a visit. The link is at left.

Hope you all have a merry christmas!

Monday, December 4, 2006

NaNoWriMo of 2006 Ends

November was a busy month. Holidays and novel writing and family crisises all in one month make for some interesting times.

As you can see from the previous post, the National Novel Writing Month has ended. I did not make the 50,000 words in 30 days. But I came close. It was a lot of work and you can read my blog at http://360.yahoo.com/a_dixiegirl_in_indiana if you want to get the full account of the trials and tribulations of a writer living life and trying to write. There is of course another shot at it next year. And I think I do want to try again.

I did get a lot of good material for a novel so it was not a loss in any way. I learned a lot about writing and about me. So, drop over to My 360 and read up on how it went. You can also read an excerpt from what I wrote at the NaNoWriMo website. That link is here: http://www.nanowrimo.org/userinfo.php?uid=152098

Honestly, I love the format of Blogger but I like the traffic potential of 360 a lot better. Since May of 2006 I have had as many hits to my 360 blog as I have had in a full year of Blogger. So, I don't put as much on here as I do on the Yahoo 360. You are welcome to drop in over there. I am keeping this going for a bit longer but writing two blogs is just nuts if they are basically the same.

I haven't done much about the second blog. Too busy to deal with it at the moment but the NaNoWriMo has be a little more excited about my work. I am trying again to get organized. Need space and quiet and with six people in the house, that is not happening soon. Hope they can all get their own place soon.

Well, my break is over and I have to get back to work. More later.

Sunday, December 3, 2006

How to Install a Faucet


Oh, the plans of mice and men... and women. I missed church this morning. We were up until after midnight trying to install sink/new faucet. My toothbrush was lying in a chair somewhere in the living room when I had to go find it to brush my teeth!

There is a story here, you know, that answer all the questions and puzzled looks you all have on your face right now.

Why so late putting in a faucet? Why a sink for a faucet? Why in a chair?

You see, somewhere in a mid-sized town in Indiana lives a family who do a lot of their own repair and remodeling on their house. There lives a man, and woman and two sons, one daughter-in-law and one adorable grandchild (photos are in albums)  in this modest ranch on a wedged- shaped lot near the railroad. Usually, it is the woman who leads on repairs with a whip at hand.

In this house, there are a bath and a half. Everyone bathes in the full bath. But the half bath belongs to the woman and she uses the full bath to . . . well, bathe. The sons also use the half bath for brushing teeth and other personal business.

For some time now the faucet has had a drip. The woman has commented on this and on the inching up of the water bill. In recent weeks, an attempt was made to replace the washer but apparently washers for this particular, relatively inexpensive Wal-mart faucet don't exist. (This is from the man of the house, you understand and may have no basis in fact.) So, it was reasoned that a new faucet was in order.

But it didn't happen.

For weeks.

Suddenly, the woman notices that, with the attempted repair, the drip is now a trickle and as this is the hot water side the water bill is now expected to become a six figure digit. The woman becomes more vocal but still doesn't use the whip. She does, however, point out how much this is going to actually cost the males in the house in the long run.

Numerous attempts were made to shut off the water at the valves under the sink. The woman and man have installed shut off valves all over the house with each plumbing job because when they moved in there were NONE! However, time has worked its vicious way with the knobs on said valves. In addition, the cabinet under this sink is small and they are in the back corner of the cabinet and difficult to reach so that a wrench can't be used. So, the water had to stay on.

And so it ran.

A plan was made to fix this issue with a brand new faucet on December 2, 2006. The day arrived. The woman even took the spouse, one son, her daughter-in-law and grandchild to lunch at their favorite Mexican restaurant. She went and bought a faucet but at Lowe's this time. However, it was nearly 6 by the time all the necessary running of Saturday was done. But that was plenty of time to install a simple faucet, right?

The sink in this bathroom was installed in the countertop from the bottom with clamps holding it level with the counter top. This is a most inefficient method to install a cast iron porcelain covered sink, by the way. They are very heavy, although this particular sink was very small, say a gallon and a half capacity. The area under it was extremely small and the bathroom itself is about the size of a 4x4 closet. However, the family actually has that special wrench to remove faucets from tight places.

The project begins. . . at 8:00 p.m.

The spouse begins to remove the clamps. Wife ask why? Obviously, spouse says, so I can put in the faucet. Wife says, "If you remove the clamps before you remove the plumbing, the sink will fall and you won't be able to do anything." After much arguing and waving of the whip, spouse relents. Wife points out that all plumbing work on this sink in the last 20 years has required removal of counter top with the sink attached. Spouse then relents amid vocal protest but with eyes on the whip.

Wife and spouse remove counter/sink. . . after he has shut off all water and disconnected all water lines and drains. Wife says, "I'm sick of that stupid sink. Every time we have to do anything in here we have to take the whole thing out." Faucet was replaced in the past, twice. And the weight of the sink, with the weight of the counter, is that of spouse. Or thereabouts. And this couple is not getting younger or stronger.

She eyes the cabinet and uses her personal measuring tape. She says, "Get the sink that is on the shelf in the garage." Remember, this is a family who does their own remodeling. They never discard any item that is still useful and may potentially be needed. There are two perfectly good bathroom sinks in the garage. One was purchased with a used cabinet and since it is an iron porcelain covered sink in great condition, it was kept. The other is a ceramic sink that doesn't need a counter and that was removed when a new cabinet was needed in the full bath and the old sink would not fit the cabinet. Fortunately, a lovely PLASTIC sink came with the new cabinet! We will not go over that particular repair project. Wife was NOT happy replacing a lovely ceramic sink with a plastic sink. However, she always has her eye on a bargain and saw the day when she would put the lovely ceramic sink in her bathroom and remove the ugly PINK mutation installed in her bathroom by some misguided soul in the past life of the house. So, it went to a safe place in the garage.

The lovely sink was brought out and cleaned up and set on the cabinet. The fit is just a little tight but by knocking out two back braces it dropped in. Yes, there is still support for the ratty old cabinet. We know what we are doing. Sink is removed and faucet put on and the flexible waterlines put on (another touch we have added everywhere). Then ceramic sink is placed in the cabinet. It is now after 11:00 p.m.

Spouse begins to connect water lines and a sound is heard from the nether regions. It sounds like, "Hoses are too short."

I hate it when that happens.

The ceramic sink is thicker than the counter top and bigger than the other sink so the water lines are about two inches too short. A conference is held.

Lowe's is closed. As are all plumbing stores. Spouse says, "I will have to go to Wal-mart."

Wife looks at daughter-in-law and says, "This is how every project goes in this house. Now you know why we hate starting them."

It was noted that spouse will take an inordinate amount of time to search for needed waterline and the family had not had a meal since 2 p.m. Number 2 son (#1 has been out for the evening) is convinced to go with spouse. He will drive spouse to Wal-mart and drop him off. #2 will then go purchase sustenance for the family at Sonic and then pick up spouse on the way back. It actually went smoothly. Food was not stone cold.

Unfortunately, Walmart did not have longer hoses.

It is now midnight. Family are fed but there is no water to bathe. They can't turn the water back on because they can't cap off the supply lines and the hot and cold valves don't work. Hot water valve knob is broken and post is rounded off. And you can't get a wrench back to it. Spouse goes back to Wal-mart to get something to cap the lines. He comes back with two plain brass faucets. There are no caps at Wal-mart. Wife doesn't think it occurred to him to buy valves to replace the old ones. She doesn't mention it because by now, she is not feeling very good and to do so would simply make everyone grumpy.

Spouse connects water lines to brass fixtures and water is shut off. However, wife's toothbrush is sitting in a chair in the living room along with everything else that was on the counter before it's demise. Ceramic sink is sitting in the living room floor with a new faucet attached. And then it was noted that the cold water hose was leaking. A bucket was located and place with hose hanging in it for the night.

Every toilet in the house has been without water for over four hours. . .two toilets, five people. You can do the math here. The family manages to get all the bathrooms functional and take their baths.

It is now approximately 3:00 a.m. and wife finally heads to bed. Just before she turn in she checks the leaking cold water hose. She studies the bucket, and check behind the drain. She sees the cold water shut off valve still has a knob. It is located directly behind the drain pipe and is nearly impossible to reach with a sink installed. Wife reaches down and turns the knob. The water shuts off. Leak fixed. She slept well.

Sunday morning dawned but no one saw it. Spouse is on his way to Lowe's for a longer hose.

I hate it when that happens.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Monday, October 23, 2006

The Shelter of the Ignorant

I have to share this. I do it because I probably have nothing better to write about today!
I have been pondering a statement made about me recently by someone who could not answer some questions I ask them. Actually, what happened was that I read something someone wrote and I wanted to know what they based their opinions on. Since I am intensely curious and nosey about everything, I asked.

Researcher that I am, I presented information to them that appeared to disagree with their opinion and asked them to explain how they got around it. Mind you, it was not MY opinion but documentation that directly conflicted with their opinion that I quoted. Their response was to make a statement about my "limited education". At first I got a bit irked because I was genuinely interested in their answers. I wanted to know where they were coming from and how they got there. Their “intelligent” response was that they became rude and resorted to name-calling.

I thought about it and, yes, I even prayed about it. I do not deliberately try and offend anyone and always feel it necessary to apologize. I try and present my beliefs and/or opinions with supporting facts and without personal attacks. I will usually answer every question truthfully, if I know. If I don't, I will say so.

Further thought let me to conclude that the truly intelligent person investigates and ask questions and when asked the how and why questions, will attempt to present their answers in a rational manner, even if they disagree with the questioner. But, if you don't actually have any answers, what do you do?

That was my answer. I would be tempted to retreat to the shelter of the ignorant.

I realized that when a person responds to questions with rudness and insults, it is ALWAYS because that person doesn't have the answers or they know they are wrong. They will either lie or they don't know and rather than tell the truth or show their ignorance, they retreat to the shelter of the ignorant -- denigration. Their gut reaction when unable to defend their position is to insult and belittle the challenger. It is an attempt to demoralize the individual and make them go away. This is how wars are started.
So, I thought some more. (You see how this works for me.)

The lack of a patch of parchment on the wall doesn't mean that the person asking the questions is "limited in education". Just because someone has a higher degree, say a PHD compared to a BA, means absolutely nothing in terms of intelligence or education. Crazy, huh?

You see, college is designed for a person who wishes to limit their education to one field, maybe two if you have nothing to do. The higher the degree, the more narrow and limited the knowledge. Yes, you get a general overview of other fields, but the focus of college education is the chosen vocation. College graduates are limited in their knowledge to the area they intend to focus on to make their living.

I know this because I have a college education. Frequently, I find that many college graduates can't carry on a conversation in anything but their specialty. They have moderate knowledge of mythology, history, literature, ancient cultures, anthropology, world religions, and major social movements. They are smart in one or two areas because they want to be. (Please no letters. I know you are all very smart and spent a lot of money on your degree. But that was a choice because the information you got is actually free at the library.)

Many self-educated people are brilliant and never attended college. Some of the greatest statesmen in American history were totally lacking in more than rudimentary education by today's standards, but they were readers. They read Blackstone's law, the Greek philosophers, the Bible, and any other book that passed their way. They could survive in the wilderness with no assistance. They built ships, houses, and roads. And they knew all about building nations. Yet they lacked a parchment. Their equivalent today is nowhere to be found.

Conclusion: "Schooling" doesn't necessarily equate with intelligence. The movers and shakers in history have not been social workers or doctors of anything. Yes, I know you serve a purpose but it is pretty limited in scope and people have to be sick to need you. How depressing. However, I’m sure we are all eternally grateful. Good job and all that.

I'm serious.

Back to ME. In light of all this thinking I was doing, I realized that I felt smart. (I didn't always feel that way.) I graduated with honors with a BA in history. I was invited to participate in an honors symposium of the college's brightest. I belong to the highest scholarship society in the country and their plaques are on the wall. I won awards in history and anthropology - their money paid my tuition. I was encouraged to go after a Master's degree.

However, why would I? Since I had always read everything from encyclopedias to references books for entertainment why would I want to spend +$60,000 for something I could get free? I only went to college in the first place because the current job market requires a person with a degree and I would hate working at Wal-Mart even more that I hate shopping there! And I actually hate working! I’d rather be reading something or learning something or writing something.

My only regret is that I didn't get my teaching certification because I love teaching children. But that meant two years of even more narrow education and that would bore me to tears. There is too much to learn to focus on one thing for 30 years.

Oh, you want to get rich? Ah.

So, what did my ratiocination reveal? I have to admit I considered responding to the brilliantly rude mind but after my thinking session a little voice in my ear said, "Why? Their reaction to your questions proved your point. You should be satisfied because.... you were right."

I smiled.

Oh wow, I love it when I'm right.

Note: Education is good, very, very good. But all the education in the world won't make you a nice person.


Friday, October 20, 2006

Weekend Update

I have been so busy that this blog has sort of fallen by the wayside. My Yahoo 360 blog, on the other hand, is what has kept me so busy. Well, in addition to my family. The new baby is adorable and sweet but one forgets how much work and how much noise they make!

This weekend, Sunday, we have her dedication service. My aunt & uncle are supposed to drive in from Georgia for the weekend and be there will us. It appears it will be Becca's mom and dad, me, Jerry, and Mike, Dave, Becca, my sister, my aunt & uncle. I don't think anyone else is coming but that is a a lot.

I am trying to get my house cleaned. Becca's mom is cleaning for me today. I will pay her to do it and she is really good at cleaning. She did it for me once before and it was so nice.

The weekend will be busy and noisy I suspect. We are awfully crowded because of Dave & Becca moving back in but we are managing. I had a new door put up in the den into the garage. The old one was in bad shape and wouldn't lock. Now all I need is a door on the den into the kitchen to give that room some privacy. We are going to put a new door on my bedroom and the one that is there is a good door (just doesn't match the ones I had to change out because they were shot). I am going to try and put the old door up in that den/kitchen entry. It will be just fine in there if it works.

My mother got out of the nursing home. She had been there a couple of months because she broke her leg. Shis 70 yrs old and has diabetes and a calcium deficiency in her bones. The leg broke in 5 places while they were trying to put pins in it so she was put in a nursing home to heal. They say she is fine.

Mike is doing well and is at the stage that he feels very angry with the ex-wife and says he is glad he is not married to her anymore. He says he realized it was the biggest mistake he ever made. I suspect it is the normal cycle of loss that most people feel. He is a very loyal person and very dedicated, even in the midst of his problems he remains loyal to those he loves.

I think what bothers him most is the manner in which she behaved. Sly, sneaky, and without any honest in her dealings. I reminded him when he said as much that I had told him BEFORE he married her that she was a liar and he wouldn't listen. He said he remembered and that he wished he has listened. Then he said, "I'm never going to do that again." But he probably will because he never sees anything bad in anyone until they nearly destroy him.

Well, gotta get busy now. Duty calls. Check out my 360 blog. The link it on the left.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Killing The Bug

The last Saturday of January 2002, I spent most of the day and all night looking for a bug. Not the nasty brown bugs that scurry for cover when you turn on the light, but a bug of a different color. However, this bug is harder to catch than the multi-legged kind.

The day started pretty well. I had it all planned. I was going to have everything done in time for church that night. Saturday’s are usually the only day I have to do laundry and clean house. It usually takes all day and part of the evening to get everything done. But we were in revival and I wanted to try and make it that night. Due to a variety of things, Thursday and Friday had been a wash. The week had not ended well and perhaps that should have been a warning.

Anyway, I planned to pay the bills and tally up the bank account so we could see where we stood financially the coming week. After all, Jerry got laid off that week and we were short an income. You don’t want to spend money until you know how much you have to spend, especially when there is less that there was the week before.

I sat down and began to work on the account but was rudely kicked out. A little box told me there was an error and if I could not resolve it I should contact the vendor. O.k. I turned the machine off and tried again. I didn’t even get into the program that time. It just locked up. So I turned it off again and tried again . . . several times. No luck. Now I was worried. Something was wrong and I could not figure out where. I read the error message carefully. It told me what it was and where it was, sort of. Actually, it gave me a bunch of numbers and letters arranged in meaningful clusters that made total sense . . . to a computer guru. (Guru: A person of great wisdom or extensive knowledge.) But again, it told me if the problem continued to contact the vendor.

I thought I might be able to work this out. I am fairly literate about computers. What I know I learned the hard way. I had a computer when there were no windows! I am one of the few ancient wise women who actually know what DOS stands for and how to use it if the need ever arises. Bill Gates will have to die first.

So, I uninstalled the program. After all, I could have a corrupted data file that was causing the crash. I reinstalled the program. I started to work, made a few entries and was booted out again. I scanned the drive. For the non-computer person, this means I ran a system check, not physically looked at it, to see if there were physical problems with the files or hard drive. There wasn’t. Next, I defragmented the drive. No it wasn’t broken. This means I told it to get itself organized, to put the files in a logical order that it could easily understand. Then I ran a virus scan to see if a bug had crept in. Nothing.

I uninstalled the program and reinstalled it . . . five times. Each time it locked up and wouldn’t let me in and if I was able to get in, it kicked me out. Something was VERY wrong. So I called my service technician. I got a woman. Great, I think, someone who speaks my language, shares my grief, and understands my frustrations. She asked me if I had virus software and if it was up to date. I said I did and explained what. She said I might have a virus it missed because I did not have an up-to-date version of the program. Hmmm. Then, she walked me through a process she said would fix the problem. I thanked her and hung up, happy that the problem was solved.

I started the program and got to work. Worked great. I thought I should print out the register, though, just in case something else went wrong. You can never be too careful with computers. I hit the print key. Up pops a window telling me I have an error. It tells me what it was and where it was, sort of. It wasn’t the same error. It was a new one.

Stupid woman. She didn’t actually sound very nice either. She had a cold, know-it-all voice. And she must not have had a clue or I wouldn’t be having another problem. And the system was not booting up correctly now, at all.

I called back. I got a man, who sounded like he was in a smoky room in Casablanca. He said something and I said, “Excuse me?” I could barely understand him. When we are able to finally communicate, which means I dredged up my Spanish class ears and put them on, I told him my problem.

He said, “Is all your data backed up?” I did like the way words rolled off his tongue.

“Well, sort of.” I said. That means not in the last six months. “Why do you ask?”

“You should back up all your data and reformat.”

There was a long, pregnant pause. I put my head in my hand. “Do you know how long it takes me to get everything back on after a format?”

“I understand,” he said.

“It takes weeks and I have a church newsletter to have out by next Sunday.”

He didn’t respond. Perhaps we had a bad connection. “What might be causing this?” I asked.

“It might be a virus that your software failed to catch.”

I sighed. He had read the note screen, of course. Stupid woman.

“Thank you,” I sighed again and hung up.

So, I began backing up data, stopping only to eat and take potty breaks. It took the better part of three hours to locate and backup all the data I had to save. It is a time consuming, boring, tedious process. You have to hunt down everything you think might be important and copy it to an external disk. Some things are easily found because you tell the computer where you want it stored. Sometimes programs store information where they want to store it, unless you order it not to. And sometimes they do it anyway!

Around 9:00 p.m. I was ready to reformat. At 3:00 a.m. I went to bed, secure in the knowledge that I had rooted out the bug. I had reinstalled all necessary software but I suspected the church newsletter was going to be late. I just hoped I would not be late for church in the morning!

I wasn’t, but I was dead on my feet. As long as we were standing I was fine but when I sat down, I wanted to curl up and snooze. But during the service a voice in my head began to speak. I grabbed my trusty notebook and pen and started to write.

“The computer is a great tool. You load it with all the necessary things to make it work efficiently and as long as you follow the operating procedures everything is great. Follow the manual and you can do a lot of great things that would take hours without a computer.

“You also have the Internet. It is a great resource, a place where tons of information is provided, usually free of charge. But there are a lot of hazards. You go out on the Web and there is always the risk of infection by a virus. Even though you may have an anti-virus program to protect you, a virus can get through and cause terrible damage, even a system crash. Then, you have to locate the problem and root it out. Sometimes the only alternative it to wipe everything out and start over.

“Infection can result without your knowing it. A virus can come in and attach itself to a file and secretly corrupt it so badly that the program no longer even works. Sometimes a virus has the ability to replicate and move to other programs until, suddenly, right in the middle of the most important thing the whole system comes crashing down. Some viruses have the power to totally wipe out everything on your system.

"The computer is like Christians and the Internet is like the world. Christians can cruise along in the world, unaware of their surroundings, secure that they are protected by their beliefs and faith. They move from place to place and at each stop, hidden viruses lie in wait. They attach themselves secretly and begin their work. Even though Christians are trusting in their “anti-virus” religious experience they can still be infected by the viruses lurking in the world.”

I stopped writing at that point. I understood the message. More importantly, I understood why my computer crashed that weekend.

Spiritual viruses lurk around every corner. Each person we meet, each place we go may have something waiting to infiltrate our minds and cause a system failure. And if we don’t detect it, we risk passing it on to someone else. Just because we are Spirit-filled Christians doesn’t mean we are impervious to contamination. It means we are supposed to be on guard, watching for those viruses that may attach, replicate, and corrupt us, and those around us.

Anti-virus programs are absolutely necessary for any computer that will be exchanging information with another computer. However, all anti-virus programs must be updated, usually weekly. Every day a new computer virus comes out and whole companies are devoted to developing applications that will stop them. As of January 25, 2002, my computer was protected against 58,571 viruses and as of November 5, 2005, my protection had reached 70,773. So too, do we need to keep our spiritual programming updated. What worked to get us through today may be useless tomorrow. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. – Matt. 6:34”

After I left church that Sunday, I ate lunch and went back to work on the computer. I stopped and went to church Sunday night. By then, my eyes were beginning to cross. When I got home I worked until midnight. Finally, I had had enough. I crawled off to bed. Monday morning could truly be called Black Monday. I missed four hours of work. I had a migraine coming to call and I was soooo tired. But the computer was working. However, I still had days of work to do.

The bug is dead and my anti-virus program is running. I hope it is working.

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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Heaven's Library

There is a paradox about writers, at least for me. I have problems with ideas. They tell me that every writer has the same problem but I can’t say that Michael Critchton appears to have ever experienced that phenomenon, nor has Patricia Cornwell. I have a boring, uninteresting life so my choices are rather slim, but sometimes a good idea can pop up out of nowhere and average things end up as grist for the mill.

For me, the effect is somewhat like standing in front of the mirror brushing your teeth and without warning, a third eye appears in your forehead. Toothpaste runs down the front of your shirt and your electric toothbrush roars off without you. I usually have the presence of mind enough to stop the toothbrush, rinse, and find a pad and pen before I lose it completely.

For a couple of years I have been getting these scenes in my head that just seem to pour out on the paper. I race to get them down and end up with a couple of thousand words at a time. Last year I realized that I had a story. I had written enough by this time that I knew the direction I wanted it to go. I had the main characters assigned to the parts I wanted them to play and the bad guy was already decided. Everything was sailing along on crystal seas. I could feel the summer breeze in my hair and feel the warm sun caressing my skin.
Then, that third eye thing happened and changed everything. I sat down on the toilet seat to recover. I had never had such a thing happen before and the impact was shattering to my psyche. How could such a thing happen when one had the story already planned and things were flowing well? I had heard of such epiphanies but never believed in them. Did I say everything had changed?

Once I was able to take my head from between my knees, I went to my computer and dashed off an email to my writing professor from college. He is quite adept as slapping sense back into his students and he relishes doing it. We have remained friends because I like gruff, opinionated people who are nice to me. I think he is nice to me because I like gruff, opinionated people. Ultimately, he is a born teacher and will offer tons of advice in terse form.

His response was as terse and comforting as I could have hoped. “Way too often characters go their own way. You can’t stop them. And, in the long run, it works out rather well. It is as though your subconscious is at least one curve ahead of you.

“Besides, you have to learn that nobody is as pure as you want them to be. Broken, lost people find their way, and we are charmed by those stories. Equally, people we think know what they are doing and are good turn out to be bad apples. Those stories smart a little, but it reminds us of reality.

“I’d just go the way the character wants to go. Nudge him into place later.”

It sounded like good advice. I felt better, assured I was not crazy to follow where the erratic muse was leading. It was after 1:00 a.m. by then so I went to bed, thinking about the changes that would be needed in the story. As I was contemplating the major changes to my story line and drifting off to sleep that third eye popped open and a new thought began to take shape. I was learning quickly that this was a double-edged sword, both painful and instructive. Fortunately, this time, I was not brushing my teeth. To this day, I am still not sure if I was dreaming or not. I didn’t stop the process. I just allowed my mind to drift along on the dream.

I was in a long corridor in a palace. Tall, gilt-trimmed columns supported the ceiling and along the walls were floor-to-ceiling shelves filled with books. There were millions of books and other corridors went off to the left and right all along the central corridor. I had never seen such a library. It was book-lover’s heaven. A dozen lifetimes would not be enough to read them all. I could almost feel the disappointment with the realization that I would never be able to read every book.

I moved along the corridors and wondered what all these books were and immediately, I knew that I was standing in Heaven’s Library. No other place could such a building exist, with such vast halls and so many books. I was curious as to what they could possibly contain to merit lining the halls of the creator’s palace. What importance could they have to him that he would keep them?

My mind shuffled through scripture, searching for places in the Bible that referred to books and writers. Paul called Jesus the author (Hebrews 2:20; 5:9; 7:10; 12:2; and 20:12). And John said, “And I saw the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of the things which were written in the books, according to their works.” (Revelation 20:12).

It was the first time in my life I really thought about the four words in the middle of that verse. Everyone always puts such importance on what was happening in the chapter and they never mention those four words, “the books were opened”. But here, in my dream or vision, as I began to examine the books closely, I believe I found an answer something important.

Each book is the draft of an individual’s life written by the creator. They contain the vital statistics of each person at each stage of their life. When the Bible tells us he knows the number of hairs on our head, it is because he has a record in our book.

What is even more interesting is that each book -- yours, mine, your friend’s -- tells the story as He would like the story of that person’s life, each step he would like them to take, every word he would like to hear them say. The characters are people he loves. They have traits and habits and talents. He knows their abilities and he wants them to use them as he planned. He wrote each one as a love story and all the endings are beautiful, happy endings. Then, He placed them on the shelves and handed the pen to the lead character . . . because editing the final draft is up to them.

He has to let the character finish the story. He has no choice. Every character in every story has the ability to do as they please. He knows how HE wants the story to go but the characters, as in any good story, write the story themselves. They can do what they want, go where they want, say what they want, and think what they want. The Author can stop them but ultimately once he creates the character and puts him in the story, he gives them life. Once they begin to breath, they begin to go their own way. The greatest Author won’t interfere but will allow the story to unfold.

The characters can make choices that change the entire direction of the intended story. They may take paths that lead to dead ends and have to be backtracked in order to find a better direction. They do things that they were never intended to do and say things they were not intended to say. They even think things they were never supposed to think.

The Author can try to pull them back on track but if he does, characters can become down right hostile. They balk, they fight, they argue, they struggle and run. He can gently try to steer them back on course. With some, he succeeds and the story exceeds his expectations. The character does wonderful, amazing things.

However, many times the characters simply do not cooperate and the story falls apart. It may be re-written … sometimes over and over, but to no avail. The story reaches a point that the Author knows it is never going to be publishable. Yet, he doesn’t throw it out. He puts it in a place where no one ever sees it, no one but him. Only he knows how the story was supposed to go. And for every unfinished novel a part of him grieves. As he reads over his writing he sees gems throughout that confirm the writing was good. The story was right but something… something special just never appeared or the character took a wrong turn.

The Author never feels that any story is a waste of time but some just never reach their potential. Ultimately, the finished product will never be what it was intended to be. They are aligned along the shelves, never forgotten but never reaching the masses with their message. And so, the corridors of the Court of Heaven are lined with works in progress, unfinished masterpieces, final drafts that just did not meet expectations, and the world will never read the real story, the one that would have made a difference.

My dream ended and I don’t really know what else I saw or learned there. Maybe it was really a dream that meant nothing. For me, it was a revelation into my own life. I am an unfinished product and my life is still being written. I get to decide which story is told.

A great poet said these words, “. . . my tongue is the pen of a ready writer: . .” (Ps. 45:1) Ultimately, it is up to me. I can tell the story my way or I can take the first draft, find ways to improve on the plan, polish it, add special touches until it shines. I can be bound in leaves of gold and put in a place of honor for all to read. Or I can be one of the unfinished manuscripts that no one ever reads and which will remain stored in the library of Heaven as a memorial to what could have been.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Your Typical Saturday... At My House

I am considering letting this blog lapse because I have to much going on. The following link: http://profiles.yahoo.com/a_dixiegirl_in_indiana is to my other blog on Yahoo 360. I am not sure it is worth the effort to keep two blogs going. I don't have that much to say, surely.

Today is Saturday and I was supposed to work but forgot. I did get up sometime early this morning and asked Jerry, "I don't have to work today, do I? It's Saturday, right?" Of course, he never answered but I figured it out and went back to bed. So, I wake up at 9:30 and while getting my caffeine fix Becca said, "I thought you had to work today!" And it hit me. I was supposed to work today. It wasn't mandatory but I need that extra $100 I would have brought home. I felt bad but honestly, I am so tired... no worn out that I just can't muster the energy to get really annoyed with myself. I get tired of measuring my life by a dollar bill.

I have a lot to do today because Dave and Becca moved last night and we have to get the den organized and move some stuff around so they can put everything they don't have in storage. I have several rooms to clean up and it will take most of today to do it. Best get moving.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

When I Was the Flame



I want the smoke and smell of fall to drift around me and lose myself in the glow while a breeze creeps along the ground and stirs the embers.
I want to shiver in the chill and scooch up to the fire with a blanket and listen to stories of the past, when heros walked the earth and blazed firey trails.
I want to stretch my hands to the warm flames and feel it curl up my arms and into my heart, where memories are stored and set them aflame in my mind again.
I want to sit on the ground with the loved ones around me, and bask in the warmth of their smiles while the flames dance on the wind.
I want to sit by this fire and stare into its heart and remember when I was the flame.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

My Up and Down Life

I was up until 2 a.m. this morning because the baby girl was not feeling good and mama had to rest. I was late getting to work because my lack of sleep brough on a migraine. By 9 a.m. I had that under control and was working by 10 a.m., I am at work, taking my break. I didn't take a lunch because I missed 2 hours of work. That way, I only lose an hour off my time.

I actually feel better because I needed the sleep. I am getting antsy to get back to my writing. My house is upside down with stuff strewn everywhere. Dave and Becca are moving their stuff in storage Friday and moving into my den for a few months. They hope they will get a voucher soon and can move out. We will see. I hope they get it too. My house is full!

Mike is still home with us and I can't find a place for him to go. He just got the judgement paid off where he and his idiot ex abandoned their lease. Daddy bought her a trailer but Mike has to live with us because of her trashy behavior. He would never have have defaulted on that lease if she had not threatened to leave and go back to Arkansas. She ended up with everything they got as wedding gifts and he has nothing at all but the clothes on his back and a chest my sister gave him, a chair I recovered for him, and his desk I bought when he was small.

We didn't go to court for anything more because he had nothing but Social Security as income and couldn't hire a lawyer. The fat Bimbo just took him to the cleaners because she got them to charge him with half of her medical bills. She had to have a bunch of medical things done while she was married to him. She told Mike that it would be "free" because Arkansas had this "free" hospital. Yes, he bought it. Now, his credit is crap because she had a habit of abandoning her leases, and getting cars repossessed, and not paying her bills anywhere. A real catch guys. For those who do not know this, you marry your credit.

Gee, do I sound nasty? I suppose it will be a long time before I get past it. I get mad every time I think about her. Need I mention she was a "Preacher's daughter"?

My one postive feeling in the whole thing is in knowing that she was terrified of me, so much so she "said" she had a protection order against us. Hysterical, especially since I wouldn't cross the street to spit on her, let alone spend hundreds chasing her. My experience is that a person who thinks like she does has reason to fear people because they are liars and theives. They never rest easy because they are constantly looking over their shoulders waiting for the people they harm to come after them. My sons and other daughter-in-law think it is a hoot. In fact, the whole family rolls in laughter when we talk about that because I am the most non-violent person you will find.

Jerry is now working at a drug store about three days a week. I hope it will help us get straightened out financially. So far, the first check didn't help at all cause expenses are just ridiculous with all these people in the house.

I am considering a biography! My life is an adventure.... I feel just like Indiana Jones!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Sweet Home Alabama


Today is a cool gloomy day and I am thinking of home. Sweet home, Alabama, where skies are so blue. Oh, how I wish I was coming home to you.

There is the this point in my journey each time I travel the road back to Alabama. It can best be experienced if the windows of the car are down when you cross the state line. There is this scent to the air that is found nowhere else. I have visited many states and several countries and have never experienced it anwhere else. It is the scent of honeysuckle and pine, the smell of clean air and sunshine.

If you stop anywhere in the state for gas, it is the music of the people... their speech when they say with a smile, "How y'all doin' today?" And you know it is a real question and not just the customer service. Their voices are like the vocal divisions you find in a great choir. Near Anniston they sing one part of the song while in Mobile it is a different part and Montgomery still another. Every place you go they have a slightly different accent but despite the regional differences you know you are still in Alabama.

Lord, I want to go home.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

Been a while since I was here. I have been busy... with the new grandbaby and trying to deal with so many people in such a small place. Diapers, clothes, interrupted sleep, crying baby and 6 people crammed into 1000 sq feet. Not fun and not condusive to good sleep.

I've been helping Becca with the baby as much as possible but I can't do the late night feedings. I have to work. Last night I was awakened by a screaming baby demanding her food at 2 a.m. and again at 4 a.m. I had trouble getting back to sleep after that last one and I don't think I slept well all night anyway. I have to get some sleep tonight. I am pretty zonked today and can't function well.

I have not been able to get on my computer at home in days because it is the room where new baby and parents are sleeping. Dave works nights but Becca sleeps there. Hope to have them in the den by the end of the months but it isn't going well so far.

I'm tired. Gone.